Loyal readers will remember the story of Bill Maas from a few months back when he got popped by the fuzz for ridin’ dirty with that young thing. It’s too bad too, because Bill Maas is one of my favorite NFL commentators. He’s got that edge, that bite, I guess from being a hard hitting 9 year vet of the Kansas City Chiefs himself, but it’s pretty clear that Bill is out of control!
Indeed, back in July Bill and his lady friend here got stopped by the cops and then Bill just started wigging out, submitted to a search of his vehicle (why?) where they found weed, cocaine, twenty something pills of X and a gun!!! DAAAAAYUM.
Now the news wire is reporting that on Wednesday, Bill Maas got popped for trying to bring a loaded handgun on a plane in his carry-on bag.
Is this cat serious? Hey, maybe the prosecutors should just cut this cat some slack. Who among us hasn’t forgotten to “carefully stow” our heat before we head off to the airport? I mean, it’s not like a loaded gun would be any cause for concern or anything, right? Can you imagine what those TSA slugs did when Bill’s bag first went through that X-ray machine?
(I’m sure the first three people it passed by looked something like this cat)
I mean, that under-worked and overpaid (and no I don’t know what they are paid, but no matter what it is, it’s too much) TSA employee who spends 50% of her day laughing with her fellow shirk happy colleagues, 20% of the day inexplicably sitting down in some abandoned gate area, 10% reading the paper, 8% walking back into that little side office to do God knows what and a solid 12% actually doing her job must have been SHOCKED to see a damn GAT sitting up in Maas’ bag…
And then just imagine Bill, conspicuously big as all hell, probably red faced from whatever drug binge he went on last night and just impatient like the rest of us:
TSA woman: “Um, sir, is this your bag?”
Bill Maas: “Yes”, with a look on his face that says “Just give me my shit”
TSA woman: “Um, sir, we’re going to have to do secondary screening of your bag”
You can’t really blame Bill for his impatience, after all, they do love to take too long with your stuff which for the business traveler is an unmitigated violation; even if you are packing illegal heat like Bill Maas…LOL
Classic. Hey, at least they caught the gun. I’ve consistently taken liquids and gels onto planes in my carry-on bags only to realize it later. And why is it that they seem unable to prevent me from bringing an assortment of liquids on board, but my iRun shoes are 1. a mystery to these people and 2. suddenly a matter of national security? Yes, I AM aware that there is a digital chip in my shoe. Where do they find these people?
Of course, Bill’s defense is the same as anyone, he just took the wrong bag. Right, because don’t we all keep identical bags, one for our heat, the other for our non gel or liquid based travel supplies? Isn’t that the same argument God Shammgod errrrr Sebastian Telfair used that one time to explain why he brought a gat on a plane? Hey, normally, I’d say cut Bill some slack or no sweat, but this cat Bill Maas is known for popping X, tooting the white horse and using those damn firearms to kill large mammals, so I think we’d all be a lot safer if they just took this cat off the streets for good. This fool is dangerous!!!
I know let’s just put PETA on his ass for killing all these animals. They’re good about using celebrities for their own ends errr making an example out of people who mistreat innocent wildlife.
PS- If the Bear is so innocent, why is it that he’d be willing to eat my ass in a heartbeat? Don’t get me wrong, I’m no hunter and I don’t get the jones these fools get off of hunting, but a 7, 1 cat who wants to eat me is anything but innocent and if necessary, that fool gotta go. Think on that PETA…