Archive for the ‘Brady Quinn’ Category

Brady Quinn: Break Out the Vaseline

February 29, 2008

You know Brady Quinn is one of your favorite guys here at Us Versus Them. By “favorite guy”, I mean favorite guy to ridicule, favorite guy to point out as overrated, favorite guy to watch slide down the draft board, and favorite guy to look up on Google for pictures like this:


Brady can’t throw,

and the Browns know,

so Brady gets lo, lo, lo lo, lo, lo….

Anyway, for those who haven’t heard, the Browns are negotiating hard to re-up with Derek Anderson as their starting QB. They’ve already got a $20 million dollar deal on the table. Brady, in case you still haven’t realized. you are not hot. That means you aren’t going to be the main focus of the Brown and Orange for a long, long time.

Seriously, even if Anderson gets hurt, when you are paying someone that much, there is no way to steal their job. Forget being Brett Favre, you just became Elvis Grbac. So Brady, when the team is out playing on the field, where will you be sitting?


Don’t worry, they’ll keep the bench warm and the Gatorade cold.


NFL Kickoff: Brady Quinn Watch Edition

September 9, 2007

So your boy Brock hit the man cave at 1:00pm sharp and fired up the NFL Season Ticket on my multiple TV set up.  I watched my Falcons get drug for about a half and switched to this 13-13 shootout in Green Bay, I looked up at my game mix to see how Brady was doing in .  (Okay, actually I was trying to check on Braylon Edwards for fantasy).  I see Cleveland down 7-24 to Pittsburgh, so I switch to the game, and lo and behold the man taking snaps for Cleveland ain’t named Quinn.


I checked the depth chart and Notre Dame’s golden boy has managed to hold down that third string job.  That is the same as Mr. Elizabeth Hasselbeck in NY (AKA the Hasselbeck that doesn’t play) who ain’t sniffed no paaaaaaaarts of the field in years.   In fact, I found a pic of Brady practicing this week:


I mean that guy is good at sitting down.

Well, at least the Brady Quinn Watch can take some time off until the cat actually gets on the field.  See ya in November?  December?  2008?


Quinn finally in camp, let the bust begin!

August 8, 2007

This cat can’t be serious with this cover… Brady Quinn is at it again.


The park tanner and self-proclaimed future of the NFL is finally in camp with a 5 year $22.2 million deal with a reported $7.75 million of guaranteed money he stole errr got from the Cleveland Browns. Quite frankly, we’re excited too. And why, of course, to see the super bust unfold in front of our very eyes.


This cat is going to make Tim Couch look like Joe Mantana once he’s done in C-town. Enjoy it.


And what exactly is going on in this picture? Never mind.

Charlie Weis, the Large Anchovy, Loses….AGAIN

July 24, 2007


The self-styled offensive genius and “award winning” author, Charlie Weis, Head Coach at Notre Dame, lost his battle to sue his doctor for malpractice associated with gastric bypass surgery he had in 2002.


After hearing of the jury decision which exonerated both of Charlie’s doctors, Coach Weis said:

“Well, I think our legal team was great. I think we were the better team out there, in fact, I believe Brady Quinn errrr my attorney, Mitch Burger, should do great at the next level. I think you’re looking at a Supreme Court Justice”

Of course that’s what Charlie thinks. Everything he does, in his mind, is first rate. This is a man, after all, who thought he should right a book after ONE SEASON of being a head coach, using his predecessor’s players to navigate a soft schedule. This is a dude who has NEVER WON A BIG GAME in his entire time at Notre Dame running that ship.


He’s not the Big Tuna. He’s no Bill Belicheck, hell, he’s no Romeo Cronell. He’s a snake oil salesman who loses big games with regularity and who outsmarts no one, except, the University of Notre Dame of course who got jammed up with that 10 year extension without seeing one recruiting class or the Big Anchovy’s performance in one big game. Genius.

– Lake

Which guy has a better chance to start for the Browns next year?

July 19, 2007


The answer? Neither!!! Just ask No. 1 wide receiver and former Michigan stud Braylon Edwards, “Chaz is our guy”. Hmmm, he can’t be talking about Charlie Frye can he? That same Frye Brady Quinn claimed he was going to come in and supplant as the starting QB for the Cleveland Browns? The generally undistinguished Akron (that’s University of, people) Quarterback product who the Browns selected, along with a half case of IcyHot, in the third round (67th overall) of the 2005 NFL Draft? Right, that same Charlie Frye I cut from my fantasy team two games in last year and never looked at a-damn-gain? Yes.


Damn Braylon, tell me more sun… “The competition with Brady Quinn will be a great one but Charlie is our guy, and with the new (offensive) system, Charlie could be looking at a big year.”

So there you have it. The team’s No. 1 wide receiver is in the Chazy Frye camp. So much for Brady coming in and doing a Vince Young, he just doesn’t have it like Vince, hell, he doesn’t have it like Matt Leinart. This cat will be a bust, a slow, long, ugly, complaining bust and it all starts with this impossible contract situation he’s got.


(Honestly, I’d rather Brady catch a Federal Indictment than have to see this brand of tomfoolery. Sister’s wedding or not, this is truly terrible. Advantage: Vick)

Hey Brady, three words: New Orleans Voodoo (of the Arena league). That garbage Notre Dame schedule and middle aged curmudgeon of a ball coach Charlie Weiss aka the Large Anchovy, can’t protect you anymore. This is the big leagues brotha. Enjoy it. Lord knows I already am.

– Laker the Hater

PS- And for you Brady apologists who think I’m too hard on him, look at it this way, at least I didn’t diss Lindy Slinger this time. Come on, give a Nilla brotha some credit.

Brady Quinn right on schedule!

July 8, 2007

to be a BUST!!! No question, Bust Watch is officially on and it’s awesome to see it all unfold.


Yes indeedy, come 2010 B dot Quinn will be the official leader and heart and soul of the Colorado Crush in Arena Bowl 5 or whatever it is. What kind of progress has he made to that end? Well, he picked right up where he left off at Notre Dame, proving he can’t hack it with elite athletes. Our spies over at Brown mini-camp say ole Brady is putting far more passes on the ground than he is in anyone’s hands. Lucky for him, there’s no contact for the QBs. Not yet.


Add to that that he’s still trying to work out a deal so he can be paid like someone taken in the top 5 rather than at No. 22 and you have your perfect debacle brewing. So good, so so good. And what has Brady struggled with, das right, accuracy. From what we hear, he’s trying to compete with the legendary Ken Dorsey for the 3rd string QB slot and this fool said he wanted to come right in and start.. puh-lease!

No word on whether he’s still with ole girl, Lindy Slinger. I think he definitely needs a lil Kim Kardashian, or maybe a hot cougar like Carmen Electra or Pam Anderson.. somethin’.



Sorry B, Lindy just aint cutting it. She does look fit though. I’ll give her that.

Report: Brady Quinn plans to hold out, what?

June 8, 2007

According to sources over at ESPNews, Draft day flunky Dr. Quinn medicine woman is reportedly thinking about holding out.

You’ve gotta be kidding me, right? It seems he and his agent are trying to turn back the hands of time and un-ring that Draft Day bell that had him falling faster than that Notre Dame defense did en route to a JaMarcus Russell/LSU Tee-greys induced stiff 41-14 AZZ kicking! I guess he wants top tier QB money and not, nobody wanted your candy ass, had to leave the green room, were lucky to get picked at #22, money…huh?

I just don’t get this guy. I mean, maybe it’s me, but I’ve never seen this cat do anything to warrant his self-aggrandizement or the belief by anyone that he’ll be anything more than a poor man’s Tim Couch with diminished accuracy and less upside. People will tell you he’s a winner, but he hasn’t won ANYTHING, ever. This guy is a bust waiting to happen.

My case against him:

1. Bad genes: A brief perusal of this cat’s kin folk makes the point, I mean look at this dude’s sister.

I think Randy Jackson from American Idol fame said it best, “just terrible dude”. To say she’s fugly is kind. She’s got that Cam’ron inspired Fred Flintstone Yabba Dabba Doo “sturdy chin”, a prehistoric Swifer mop hair piece, make-up by sleazy, greazy, turrible Cover Guy and ‘Roid-tastic AJ Hawk for a hubby. Sure it’s harsh, but come on, even when she’s at her best she’s awful.

2. Poor decision-making: We already know whenever B dot Quinn steps on the field with some real boys (see LSU, USC, Michigan, and OSU), he crawls up into the fetal position. But I’m talking about ole boy’s decisions off the field. That chick he’s got with him, come on.

She’s not even High School QB quality, much less Notre Dame QB quality MUCH LESS NFL quality. I know, I know, “but she’s the real deal Lakey, she’ll stand by her man and want him for the right reasons. ” Slow down. First, she didn’t look too comfortable standing by her man on draft day once he started fallin’ like Alicia Keyes. I thought I caught her making eyes over at Adrian Peterson for a second. Adrian just shook her off and opted to order up a pizza on his Treo instead and yes I have video tape!

I mean, that’s how uninspiring this babe is… And he’s sporting her like he’s got Jessica Biel on his arm. Terrible, awful. You pick which one looks like a credible NFL ‘wag’ (wives and girlfriends).

Need I say more? Now what Brady really needs to do is go holler at Kimmy Kardashian… sheeyut, worked for Reggie Bush, Ray J, Lake Arlington, and Nick Cannon. Look at how successful all those guys are. The boy Brady just aint right in the head.

3. Bad coaching: I’ll say it first, Charlie Weiss is overrated. Period.

Honestly, what has this cat ever done and who has he done it with? His teams are hot against Navy, Army, Air Force and Duke (awww).. But what happens when the OSUs show up? How about LSU? They get murdered!!! I know, I know, “he didn’t have the players…” riiight. So Weiss gets credit for winning with the last guy’s recruits such that he gets that contract extension, but when his squads fail to answer the bell in big games, the losses can be explained by a lack of talent. Wait while we unzip….

Charlie was brought in to bring in big time talent, only, big time talent isn’t coming to Notre Dame like they thought it would. They’re still going to LSU, USC, the Florida Schools, Texas and Michigan. Sure they got Jimmy Clausen, but ND has always gotten QBs, it’s all the other positions that they have a hard time filing. Charlie is not hot. After ONE season at ND he wrote a book about how good he is. One year after he got gastric bypass surgery he was back, big as a McMansion sittin on dubbs. Weiss thinks too much of himself and he’s passed that false confidence on to Brady Quinn.

Romeo Cronell and company passed on Mr. Quinn with the early picks for a reason. He’s not that hot. He’s a park tanner impersonating a big time NFL quarterback. Dude hasn’t won squat. Has yet to show up in a big game. Has a man for a sister and a low rent chick for his claimed lady. In fact, Brady might still be sitting in NY waiting for his name to be called.

No love.

Newsflash: Brady Quinn, medicine woman will be a bust!

April 29, 2007

Once again, Brady failed to show up on a big stage. And let’s just say it here — B dot Quinn, the craziest self-promoter to fall that far in a draft in recent memory will be a BUST!


I mean, if he couldn’t get it done against Ohio State in ’06 or LSU in ’07 what’s he going to do when the whole D is filled with the same super sick athletic guys he couldn’t do anything with before, only they’ll be better, smarter and better coached? And good luck fixing that accuracy/arm strength issue Mr. Q. I know, I know, Tom Brady doesn’t have the strongest arm or the best accuracy, but Tom is a proved winner that shows up in big games. Brady Quinn has consistently not shown up in big games, he’s the anti-Tom. Not only that, but to my knowledge, he hasn’t knocked up two celebs at once neither. Bottom line, Quinn is no Tom Brady. I’m not sure he’s even Tim Couch.

Non-n*ckas please!!!!