Archive for the ‘Democrats’ Category

Obama Wins Democratic Party Nomination!!!

June 4, 2008

Though Hillary Clinton still hasn’t accepted the inevitable, Barack Obama locked up the Democratic Party nomination last night.

The best way to “heal” the party is to simply stop talking about Hillary Clinton. She is wholly irrelevant at this point. So warm up the bus and stop giving me minute by minute updates as to whether she has conceded. She doesn’t need to concede. She’s already lost. Her concession is no longer necessary.

Can you guess what the Republican anti-Barack strategy will be? I can:

1. He’s a Muslim

2. He’s got a crazy anti American Christian Pastor

3. He fathered a black child or gasp, maybe even two

4. He’s too “elite” because he went to Ivy League Schools

5. He’s gay

6. He’s dated and or banged out white women

7. His wife hates America

8. He’s not black enough

9. He’s too black

– Lake

Defiant Ferraro Steps Down From Clinton Camp

March 13, 2008

That self described TOKEN of the 1984 Presidential Campaign (no wonder they lost) Geraldine Ferraro finally stepped down from Finance Committee of Hillary Clinton’s campaign today amid controversy surrounding her statement that Barack Obama wouldn’t be in the position he was today if he were a white man or a white woman.

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You might think that after the firestorm she learned the error in her thinking or at very least, to shut the hell up, but the old bat continues to talk all kinds of shit.

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Peep her latest parting shot after her announcement that she’s going to hit the fucking bricks:

“Any time anybody does anything that in any way pulls this campaign down and says let’s address reality and the problems we’re facing in this world, you’re accused of being racist, so you have to shut up. Racism works in two different directions. I really think they’re attacking me because I’m white. How’s that?”

How’s that? I’ll tell you how that is. You’re a fucking idiot. That’s how that is. Really, anytime someone raises legitimate issues about Obama’s fitness to be the Party’s nominee, ANYTIME that happens (?), which is like, what, EVERY SINGLE DAY, that person is accused of racism?

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I see. I guess that’s the whole Obama campaign strategy, since that “hollering racism trick” is so effective with 70% of the electorate. Riight, that makes perfect sense. Not only has Obama received more delegates, won more states and garned the overall popular vote to date, but he did it all because he’s a black man AND because of his highly sophisticated “accuse everyone of racism” strategy. Perfect reasoning from Mrs. Ferraro.

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If your comments weren’t stupid, WRONG and racist, then why didn’t Hillary support what you said? Why hasn’t ANYONE supported what you said? Why is EVERYONE, black, white, brown and yellow criticizing your punk ass for your silly comments?

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Geraldine, I know you think your stupid ass analogy about your lack of fitness as a Vice Presidential candidate gives you a free pass to opine on why Barack is where he is, but you’re just wrong. Again, just because you were an unqualified hack that made a good life out of a less than impressive resume, that doesn’t mean that an Ivy League educated, political super nova like Obama is afflicted with the same stench that kept your under qualified tail out of office.

Geraldine, I’ve listened to Obama speak, Obama was a friend of mine, Geraldine, YOU’RE NO OBAMA!!!

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Hell, you’re no George Herbert Walker Bush, which is why he and ole Ronny Reagan cleaned your clock back in 1984. Is this what the Democratic Party is really about? Shit, I feel like Scarface sitting at the dinner table… “Is dis what it’s all about meng?”

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I mean, maybe my boy Greg in VA (aka DHater for those of you who are up on the comments), a cat who I can’t believe is still a Black Republican after all this shit that’s gone on over the past 7 years, is right. Maybe these GOP cats and Democratic cats are all the same. As soon as these cats want to beat Obama, they resort to the same old trick. They insert race into the equation, which they know is a lose-lose a cat like Barack who is trying to avoid the fallout associated with his race and then accuse Obama of being racist toward them!!!!

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How crazy is that? Obama rolls with a message of hope and change, they come out talking about how he wouldn’t be where he is but for his race, as if being black has been such a benefit in American society, and now he’s the one being racist? Riiight, the Obama campaign is attacking you because you’re white Geraldine. Exactly, because as white people in America, all we do is get wrongly persecuted because of our race!!!

I know, I know, Hillary didn’t ask you to step down, you just refused to allow the Obama campaign, with all their vicious and unwarranted race-based attacks on white people, to distract the voters from the core issues. Riiiight, this is all THEIR fault, not YOURS.

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Get to steppin, chick!

– Lake

Spitzer’s Hooker Is About To Be Famous!!!

March 13, 2008

Meet rebellious runaway, turned aspiring R&B singer, turned Elliot Spitzer’s last hoe Ashley Youmans aka Ashley Rae Maika DiPierto aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka Kristen from the Emperor’s Club VIP.

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And yes, that is an interesting shirt she has on with that right J game creeping out, fighting for respectability….but we’ll get to that later.

Anyway, this babe right here is a piece of work. You KNOW you’re dealing with a scandalous, low arse, bottom feeding hizzoe when approximately two days after a sex scandal rocks the state of New York and not even 24 hours after the Chief Executive of one of the most influential governmental bodies in the world resigns, this chick’s name and pictures are suddenly plastered all over the internet. Can you say Cha-Ching?

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And come to find out, this chick is an aspiring R&B singer. You know what they say, no publicity is bad publicity, especially if you’ve been turning tricks to pay your rent since you were 17 years old. So after she got done fucking the Governor, getting paid, getting caught and testifying, I’m sure ole Ashley was like, “hey, this is my big break!!!” And she’s probably right. Wasn’t it Confucius that said “one man’s ruined political career, life and family is another 22-year old hoes’ shot of a lifetime?” That Confucius, always right about stuff like this.

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Well, one thing I must say, I’m glad to finally know what a $5,000 piece of ass looks like. Check ole Ashley getting her extended hoe game on in St. Tropez:

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I can’t lie. She appears to have everything you want in a high-priced hooker.

1. Concave stomach piece, check

2. Beautiful breast-tah-sis, check

3. Mediterranean/Sorta Rican tan piece, check

4. Fairly revealing swim wear, check

5. Presence in a foreign country that she has no business visiting but for the fact that she’s charging men exorbitant amounts of jack so that she can do coke, drink cristal, fuck and still have a few pennies to put away for her “singing career,” CHECK

And what about that singing career. Let me tell you, it’s real bad. Check her song “What We Want.” <——The Irony of it all.

Look, let’s just say that she wouldn’t be going to Hollywood on American Idol unless she was blowing Simon during the commercial breaks, which given what this chick is all about, is fairly likely.

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My thing about this babe is that she almost looks like a shape changer. I mean, at one point she’s got the full-on, now you see me, now you don’t Tucan Sam schnauzer-beak piece going:

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Then the next thing you know she’s rocking the smoothed out strawberry blond look with the even skin and non-offensive proboscis:

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Damn, the home wrecker looks kind of good here, I must admit. What’s the difference, besides Cocaine nose on the first one and Dr. 90210 nose on the second. Still, baby girl is a chameleon, but I guess the ability to change up one’s look is a valuable commodity in the hoe game. Anyway, peep what she had to say on her myspace page about her life below:

“When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music.”

Right, your music. Talk about “fucking for tracks.” Jeez. And where does she get this enlightened grip on the real world, why from Mom of course…Yes, her Mom, Carolyn Capalbo has weighed in on this matter.

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Peep her act:

“She is a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor (huh?) But she also is a 22-year-old, not a 32-year-old or a 42-year-old, and she obviously got involved in something much larger than her.”

Ya think? Anyway, I would say that this babe has had her 15 minutes of shameful fame and now she’s done, but I know better. People Magazine, 60 Minutes, Larry King and maybe even Good Morning America will be knocking in no time. And you know that “memoir” is already into production. I know, I know, you already had been writing a memoir about your life in the hoe game…

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Believe me, you didn’t have to tell me, because I already knew.

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You know your post is over when the hizzie throws you the double “peace out” sign. Kristen errr Ashley, can’t wait to see ya on 60 Minutes girl. I wonder if she’ll make any cracks about Easy E’s “love making” or those “dangerous requests” to hit this broad raw dog.

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Elliot, please homey, wrap it up, especially with the hoes…..thx.

-Lake

Photos of Elliot Spitzer’s Alleged ‘Tutes

March 12, 2008

These are a few shots of the babes Easy E allegedly banged out for upwards of 5 stacks!!! Yo, I still can’t get over that. Anyway, you tell me how much these hoes are worth.

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Normally I’d say that with hoes, it’s like strippers, it’s just all about the body, but if you’re dropping 5 stacks, she better be tight from head to pink toe. Sorry, but this chick doesn’t quite make the grade. If I’m Elliot I’d hit her with a couple Arby’s gift certificates and a Baby Phat sweat suit en route to the ass tappities. No dough.

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Hmmmm, I feel like Randy Jackson from last night’s Idol episode. This just isn’t doing it for me. I mean, I’m seeing absolutely nothing that screams “Make it Rain on this hoe”.. I know “Client 9” allegedly banged out an “attractive brunette” but I hope homey didn’t lose it all over this broad. Next.

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Damn, this babe is bangin like a Greg Paulus 3 pointer. I’m not a proponent of pay for play Elliot style, but if you’re gonna pay for it, do it right. And this babe aint a bad start. Those lips are great, hair looks real and the overall face is very decent. I fear that there’s limited to negative ass behind those jeans, but hey, that J to waist ratio is looking very right. All I can hope is that she dyed her hair or rocked a wig while Spitz shat away his career. I mean, if you’re going to lose it all over a hoe, might as well get your money’s worth. Do I lie?

– Lake

Geraldine Ferraro needs to sit her punk ass DOWN!!!

March 12, 2008

Geraldine Ferraro has decided to open up her crusty mouth with regard to Barack Obama’s candidacy for President by saying this:

“If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position. And if he was a woman (of any color) he would not be in this position. He happens to be very lucky to be who he is. And the country is caught up in the concept.”

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She then followed her bullshit up by saying that she wouldn’t have been on the Democratic ticket in ’84 if she hadn’t been a woman.

Let me just say this, Mrs. Ferraro doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about. Let’s just talk Barack v. Ferraro.

1. Barack went to Columbia undergrad and was the Editor of the Harvard Law Review. Geraldine went to Marymount Manhattan College and Fordham Law School.

Advantage Barack.

2. Barack Obama served in the Illinios State Senate and is a current United States Senator. Geraldine Ferraro served in the House of Representatives and lost two bids for the US Senate.

Advantage Barack

3. Barack Obama is the current front-runner for the Democratic Presidential Nomination, Ferraro’s dumb ass got trounced by Reagan and George H. W. Bush in 1984 election as a Vice Presidential candidate. She was riding the coat tails of Walter Mondale. Barack is riding his own stardom.

Advantage Barack.

Geraldine, face facts. Barack Obama is better than you in every aspect of public life and qualification to this point as we all wait for your to kick. He’s smarter, holds a more significant political office than you ever did and is having a larger impact on the political process than a worthless, admitted token footnote like you could ever have had. Nobody cares what you think, but if you’re going to open up your irrelevant trap, at least be accurate. Barack is in this station of life because he’s far more charismatic, inspirational, intelligent and thoughtful than a hack like you. Your attempt to paint everyone who has criticized your ridiculous commentary as “the real racists” is a complete joke. We all know what you were insinuating, so don’t try to double back and act like everyone is taking your comments out of context. You’re saying that he’s a token instead of a substantive agent of change. Your saying that he doesn’t deserve all the attention he’s getting and wouldn’t get it if he wasn’t black. That he’s just another dude if he were white, hell, you said so. Damn, if it’s so much easier to be black in America, what do you think a mental midget like Dubyah would get if he were black?

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Oh yeah, they’d probably make him King of America or something, right? I know, I know, tokens get a free pass and that you should know because you’re the queen of all tokens and this has nothing to do with your support for Hillary Clinton either.

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Riiight and she got into her position based on what, all her qualifications as first lady? Siddown and shut up! Maaaan, I used to be a solid Hillary Clinton guy. I just like Barack better for this job. But let these Hillary supporters continue with their bullshit. I’m one comment away from taking the gloves off on these muthafuckers….switching to the dark side.

– Lake

Spitzer is out, David Patterson in as NY’s Governor

March 12, 2008

It’s just a matter of time. Elliot “Mess” Spitzer lost his damn mind with this transfer of lootchy for hoez foolishness. Now he’s basically got no choice but to resign from office.

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I mean, for real.. Who’s worse, Craig from Friday for getting fired on his day off for stealing boxes on camera or Elliot moving 5 large for some NYC ass he happened to want to get at before Valentines Day?

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Oh yeah, it’s Easy E going away. At least Craig never admitted any wrongdoing. Elliot sure did. And what about that timing of the night before V-Day? Hell, he might have been knee deep in some premium tail as the clock truck midnight.

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What a way to usher in that holiday. Fuck candy and flowers, E was having it his way. Now when I wrote my scheme for getting over on Valentines Day, nowhere did I say to wire a G’s worth of loot cakes for a hizzie, and 4 more on travel expenses, hotel and lubrication. That’s not pimp, it’s just stupid.

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So in the span of 24 hours, homey has gone from one of the top 3 or 4 elected official in these United States to “Daddy, please don’t bring your ho mongering ass to my recital, I HATE YOU.” That’s a pretty ugly fall. And what about the reverberations?  This little snafu will end up being historic not only for the running of hoes, but also because it will bring New York’s first black Governor into office!

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My inside sources in Albany tell me that for his first official act in political office, David Patterson will be getting an edge up at a local barber shop.

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I certainly hope so, damn.

– Lake

Governor Gets Caught in Wire Tap: Eliot’s Mess

March 10, 2008

Maaaayne, I turned on my radio this morning and I heard 50 Cent’s P.I.M.P Remix featuring New York’s Gov. Eliot “Mess” Spitzer and T Pain.

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Surprisingly, Eliot was signing the hook, listen:

I don’t know what you heard about me
But these hoes got $5,000 dollars outta me
They dropped a wire and got your boy E
I deserve better after paying 5 Gs (Yuh!)

Daaaayum, it appears that Governor Eliot Spitzer got hemmed up in a prostitution sting in Washington, D.C. I guess they raided some “offices” and found paperwork that “links him” (what does that mean?) to the “prostitution ring.” Links him? Does that mean he was banging out hizzies or not?

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I know, I know…ha It’s just that I like Eliot and hate to see him go out like this. It’s pretty crazy, because if you ever listen to his speeches, homey talks like he’s the head of the League of Justice or something. But when he read that statement this morning, homey sounded like Kanye trying to explain that W didn’t care about black people. It was more than uncomfortable.

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Dude, all the details aren’t in yet, but it looks like dude was paying these hoes 3-5 grand for some tail…

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Damn, what kind of chicks are these? I mean is this cat literally banging out Linsay Lohan or something? Crazy. Hard out here for a pimp? How could it be? For that money, Eliot could have flown out to a remote location to get some. Damn. Let me ask you guys something, if you had to go down in a sex scandal, which way would you go? I took the liberty of listing a few in terms of worst to easiest to handle. All these scandals assume that you are a politician who is married with children:

1. I’m a Gay American

The Gay dude who has been frontin’ with the stepford wife

2. The Sexual Assault ‘Lose-Lose’ Scenario

This is a particularly ill one. A chick claims you sexually assaulted her and your only defense is, “She wanted it too”.. Uhhh, don’t ya hate when THAT happens?

3. Baby Mama Drama

You get exposed for the love child, which means not only were you hitting something wild style, but you were quietly throwing hush money at it, or not, either way, you’re fucked.

4. Hoez I knows

Paying for it and getting caught in the okie doke with the credit card statement.

5. Head Man in Charge

Getting some love from that secretary “under the desk”. This one is all too classic. Almost doesn’t even register on the radar screen.

No matter how you slice it, this is UGLY for Eliot Mess. You know the GOP types are loving this! Eliot was already in trouble, it’s just a matter of time until he’s forced to peace out. Damn, E, thanks for the Christmas card though.

– Lake

Barack Obama rolls to 10 straight wins

February 20, 2008

Now I’m pissed off at my Duke Blue Devils because you know I wanted to ask who is hotter, Barack or Duke… Oh well, you can’t win them all. Well, unless you’re Barack of late. This cat is murdering Hillary Clinton.

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Indeed, last night Obama took Wisconsin and Hawaii taking his win streak to 10 primaries straight since Super Tuesday.

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Meanwhile, Hillary is in a must win situation in Texas and Ohio. Both her number 1 and 2 campaign aides are gone. Honestly, I think the decision to make Bill “chill” was a mistake. It’s the same error the Al Gore camp made back during Election 2000 when they tried to distanced themselves from Bill Clinton. Bill may be somewhat divisive and some hate him for sure, but Billy C is a political monster who could really help Hillary right now. You all know UvT supports Barack, so there’s no question that we’re happy with this development. I’m not sure what Hill’s got up her sleeve, but she better do it quickly.

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B, watch out homey…

– Lake

Showdown In South Carolina

January 25, 2008

This is a must win for Barack.

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There really isn’t much to say. Will the black vote come out for Barack or has it been sufficiently splintered by the Reverends for Hire down in good ole South Cak and elsewhere. Will there be a significant white backlash now that race has been interjected so directly by the media? My answer to that question is yes, but there was Iowa, so you never know. All I know is that if Baracko doesn’t win SC, it’s gonna be slow singing and flower bringing time at Barack’s headquarters which by that time will likely be housed near the sweet tea and lemon wedge line at the Bojangles’ in Sumter.

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He must win in SC tomorrow or it’s ova! Billy C is a bad mutha-shut yo’ mouth.

-Lake