Archive for the ‘Halle Berry’ Category

Halle Berry preggers by a bootleg Sawyer from Lost?

September 6, 2007

Awwwww Haaaaaail no!!!! Look, Lakey the Don took some time off this week. I had some things on my mind, haters were at my door step, trying to get at me. But I just had to make a comeback for this story. Halle Berry is pregnant by some scraggly white dude from Canada?!?!

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Dammit, I should have believed what I saw during Monster’s Ball. I knew Halle didn’t have any damn sense when she allowed Billy Bob Thorton to violently bang her out in that movie like that.

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Then she won the Oscar and became a huge mainstream star… go figure.

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Now Halle collects her very own K-Fraud, gets knocked the f*ck up and then comes out with all this happy rhetoric and I’m just supposed to accept it?

“Gabriel and I are beyond excited, and I’ve waited a long time for this moment in my life. Now, the next seven months will be the longest of my life!”

Excuse me while I vomit. I mean, if you’re going to go YT, you gotta go with a real legit cat like a Brad Pitt, Lake Arlington, George Clooney, Ashton Kutcher or even a smoothed out Timberlake, but you cannot under any circumstances go with a bullshit Canuck whose only possible claim to fame or talent would be his uncanny similarity to Sawyer from Lost.

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I mean, if Halle was actually knocked up by the actor who plays Sawyer, that would be bad enough. But to be hitting some bullshit dude who just looks like Sawyer, much less actually getting knocked up by him?!?! Unacceptable. I just can’t take it.

Halle, we always knew you were kind of crazy.

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You ran over that woman and drove off. You had all those wild issues with men…From Wesley Snipes, to David Justice to Eric Benet and I never wanted to say this publicly, but now we all know.. it was you who was crazy as hell all along.. It’s like when Kaiser Sose walked straight.. Just Terrible.