Thickness Defined: ASHANTI!!!

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Dude, maybe it’s just me (it’s not) but has anyone noticed that Ashanti is looking FAN-TABULOUS lately? My word!!! I mean, it’s like every picture of her I see is yet another piece into a tapestry of “GOT DAMN“-ness. So you know I had to ask the question that’s on everyone’s mind: Is Ashanti UvT Quality? We’ll start with “Classy” Ashanti and work our way down:

Very nice. And don’t think that angle on picture one around the middle hip area is lost on me, either…IT’S NOT. In fact, this was the first picture of her that made me let out a Scooby Doo inspired “Zoinks”. Then I saw some more:

Uhhhhhhhhhh, s-s-s-s-say whaaaaaat?!!!! Talk about thick. Fair enough, it’s the JLo gimmick and I get that. But are you fucking serious? Dude, Nelly aint gonna ever need to roll by Popeye’s or KFC again. I mean, I see thigh, breast, fuck, sides and all the damn fixins’!!! BUT DON’T FORGET THE HONEY!!! WOW. Dude, now I know what it’s like to be sippin on that purple stuff because I’ve been in a daze ever since I first laid eyes on this picture. Honestly, where does it start, how can it stop? MY WORD!!! I grudingly move on to exhibit 3, B, IV, shit, who am I?

“I need an around the way girl, that’s the one for meeeeee!!!!!!”

Can I get a J check?

Oh yes indeed. On the real, how many hours per day must this babe put in that gymnasium? 2, 3 or 4? Which brings me back to the question of her UvT Quality status. I say HELL YES. I mean, I believe in a republican (little R) form of blogging and I know I can’t just make unilateral decisions, but do I really have to wait for Brock to scream from the mountain tops: “YES, YES ASHANTI IS UvT QUALITY!!!!!!” I should wait you say?

How about now? That under cheek shot is always a doozy. As my boy “JP” in Manhattan by way of Louisiana would say “she’s very attractive”… yes she is my man, YES. SHE. IS! Angle two on that thigh please:

My goodness!!! With all that leg, she’s about to put KFC out of business. HELP!

– Lake

————-UPDATE——————-

Good eye, Lake.  Good eye.  Ashanti was looking good as hell in that King Magazine spread back in the day, and she definitely looks lovely in that white dress.  You know what’s messed up though?  Ashanti without the personal trainer, dietician, and will to achieve ends up looking like this:

Yup.  That’s Ashanti’s little sister Shia…Shi-Shi what day call her.  If Ashanti has pulled back from one ham sandwich away status to weekend bender with chili cheese fries away status, lil’ Shi-shi here just pushed back from Thanksgiving dinner.  Be aware people, be aware.

-Brock

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24 Responses to “Thickness Defined: ASHANTI!!!”

  1. starlovemoon Says:

    wow ashanti is sooo cool. awesome!

  2. A Baller Says:

    Damn those thighs are juicy!

  3. Donnie Says:

    This chick is thickness defined. My word… That split shirt is crazy sexy cool. I didn’t know she had it like that. I never really paid her the proper attention. Consider me informed.

  4. Jack Bastard Says:

    Just squats and cardio my niccas. Nothing more, nothing less. Nelly must be merking this properly. Time to find my poor man’s Ashanti, minus the unibrow.

  5. DHater Says:

    You’ve got the right one baby, uh huh! A couple of years back I would have thrown a challenge flag on this one due to excessive “baby hair”, but she seems to have embraced Waxology 101 and 201.

    She’s got the eye of the tiger in that JLo pic.

  6. KIR in NV Says:

    No homo, she’s nice.

    But has there been either an Ashanti or Nelly sighting on the charts since these two hooked up? Every now and then I catch “What’s Luv?” f. Ashanti or “Air Force Ones” by Nelly and I think, “Whatever happened to those two?” Seems like they fell off or something.

  7. Be On It Says:

    It’s new album time for both, so expect to see more of them. Nelly’s “Party People” feat. Fergie is a’ight. Good for a listen after a couple of shots of Patron, you’re in the club, and want to get your solo boogie on.

    Can’t hate on Ashanti, cuz she has definitely been in the gym doing her thug-thizzle. Can’t stand that tacky song “How I love you” or whatever, or the psycho video. Ladies, the goal of going psycho on your sorry, cheating man is to scare the bejeezus out of him WITHOUT getting caught.

  8. Lake Arlington Says:

    @Dhater: You aint lied on that when hairy met ‘Shanti… I saw a couple high school/middle school shots that had me running for cover. On a side note, hit up that Celts. v. Cavs last night…. Peeped a few poor man’s Ashanti’s, only extra light skinned. Not sure where or when the Aryan sisterhood of thickness started, but I like it.

    @ Kir: Fair point, when did Sweat Suit come out? He had a few joints, no? Neither of these “artists” appeal to me…well, Ashanti thickness aside.

    @ Be: I know some dudes dig it, but the crazy psycho chick always gets iced out in my camp. Just can’t have it.

    I’m just waiting on Will’s rating of Ashanti… After he gave Ms. South Cak the 7, Ashanti must garner that 8, right?

  9. Will Says:

    NOTHING LIKE A sweaty cooch shot for your Thursday afternoon!

    Thanx! 😀

  10. Will Says:

    Lake by all means Ashanti is UvT quality!! I showed these pics to some dudes here at work and the decision was unanimous – ‘DAAAAAAAAAAAMN!!’

    the ‘damns’ have it.

    she a strong 8 and a possible.

  11. KIR in NV Says:

    @ Be: I think we may be twins separated at birth, for reals. Patrón shots? Count me in girlfriend!

  12. Ipod Mafia Says:

    Truly beautiful. She is killing that white dress and then those thighs are killing me. With that J lo picture you have to start from the bottom of the picture and then work your way up. TOTALLY changes the effect. Ashanti is an 8? You must be crazy…. 10! She is truly dimed out right here. The fact that she can actually sing definitely cements it.

  13. KIR in NV Says:

    Unibrows are not hot – male or female. Don’t be afraid of the tweezers or the wax. Please!

  14. Rev Wright Says:

    C-Lord have mercy, the lord is my shepard, he know what I want!

  15. Knowledge Says:

    She flew in like calm breeze
    Tall brown skin, her weave like palm trees
    I went coconuts
    Dipped my Dunkin’ between her Donut
    Then she went ohhhhh and it was Her of which who I seeeeeee

  16. RosyF Says:

    Brock you ain’t lied yet. Shi Shi is when thickness goes wrong. And as we know from Ashanti, Janet, and Alicia Keys it is an epic battle that must be waged to keep it tight.

  17. Will Says:

    Maaaaan i think cats be throwing out ’10’s at anything with a lil thickness and some dressing. Dont get me wrong she is babygirl flyy, but ionknow IMO Ashanti is Hollywood FX. 😛
    I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Brock, Lake – I think we need to have a special posting for what qualifies a 10. holla

  18. eVaDiVa Says:

    OH LAAAWWD HAVE MERCY!!! Is that her sister??? wassup with all that cellulite??

  19. Brock Hardon Says:

    @ KIR in NV

    You know Al B. Sure coulda hit it back in the day.

  20. KIR in NV Says:

    @ Brock: You ain’t lied re Mr. Sure. His joint started at one temple, ran the length of his forehead and ended six blocks later at his other temple. Ridiculous. Maybe he got some Yeti in his family tree?

  21. Brock Hardon Says:

    I ain’t lied he’s got a unibrow…or I ain’t lied you’da let him hit it?

  22. Lake Arlington Says:

    @Brock and Kir, I think the answer is BOTH. Al is still a relatively smooth mufucka too.

  23. KIR in NV Says:

    @ Brock and Lake: true dat on both counts!

    And for the record, I *might* let Nelly hit too if he showed me the 5 tools he was working with. I love me some (former) baseball players!

  24. raafman Says:

    I hate to break it to y’all, but Ashanti cain’t sang and Nelly neither, or rap. So there you have it.

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