Archive for the ‘Kevin Durant’ Category

West Siiiieeede?

May 23, 2007

The NBA Draft Lottery occurred tonight with one of the biggest thuds you’ll ever hear or see. Pick #1 goes to Portland(whooopeee!!!), while Pick #2 goes to Seattle? We didn’t get it and neither did either of these cats who upon hearing the news had these facial expressions respectively:

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Pan Oden and Kevin Durant must be wondering whether they made the right decisions to come out.

Where would you rather be? In Columbus Ohio getting paid by those corrupt Ohio State boosters with all the sponsored tail a guy could want?

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Case in point.

Or in Portland — land of the Chronic, sheep, timber and just about the most cultured and cosmopolitan white folks you’ll ever find?

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Edge, Columbus. Better toes, more hizzoes and far more notoriety. Playing in Portland is like being shipped off to Siberia. Sure you’re getting paid, but Greg was already getting paid in Columbus! Come on, you know he was….

And things are no better (ok, they are a littlebetter) for Kevin Durant who’ll undoubtedly end up in Seattle… Hey Kev, not sure what you’re into, but newsflash there are Noooooo brothers in Seattle and worst yet, noooo sisters. Tough break bro. You’re probably too young but I watched Real World Seattle so I’m like an expert. The place is a debacle for a brother. Stephen, the Real Worlder who got that limp wrist-ed slapperin on that white chick; heard he looked and acted like BA Baracus before going to Seattle.

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Next thing we know, dude is stealing vehicles and selling arse in the filthy LA streets. It’s not a good look for you. Beware playa..

And yes, the sound you just heard is some Beantown cat jumping off that Mass Ave. bridge to certain life long injury (the good Lawd won’t even allow him death). Yep, the Celtics somehow managed to mess this thing up. They’re picking 5th, just in time to grab a Can Miss type player. Awful.