Karma’s a bitch: Giants are champs, Pats are not

I don’t know, maybe illegally videotaping your opponent, rocking that ridiculous hoodie all the time, stealing people’s wives and putting them in pimp houses in Brooklyn, never being honest on your injury reports, mumbling with a stoned grill through all your press conferences and running up the score on your opponents this year thereby giving Brock and unwarranted and unnatural upgrade at Fantasy QB wasn’t such a good idea after all.

It’s called Karma my nilla and now it came to bite you in the azz! Oh yeah, you got what you deserved tonight, that we know. The Giants won and pretty much everyone outside the 617 was happy as a result. I wonder what Mercury Morris will have in store for all of us tomorrow.

You know those ESPN executives are on the phone with that cat right now checking out those flights on Orbitz because they need homey on set to run some post Non Perfect Season smack on the Patriots. Let me just give yall a sample of the kind of smack this cat runs.

Hilarious. As I said before, homey needs to be a regular feature on ESPN’s NFL coverage. He’s great.

Anyway, I don’t want to rub anyone’s face in it, but this thing went about as it should have. Again, Karma is a muthafucka and the Patriots have been assholes all year long. Their coach is a complete dick and hey, even Tom Brady got a little dirt under his nails.

Oh and you can stop those “Tom Brady is the best Quarterback of all time” statements any time now. Tom was not sharp today.

Sure, he was bothered by the Giants’ pass rush, but this is the NFL.

He missed a number of key throws to Randy Moss and just wasn’t able to execute when he did have the passing lanes. Cats ride his jock when they win, so they might as well kick him in the nuts now that they lost. Oh and how happy do you think Bridget Moynahan is right now?

You know she’s got little Tommy dressed up in a Eli Manning alternate Red Jersey just making it rain (with Tom’s child support money) on the little guy like confetti after the game.

Damn T, I think you’re an all right guy but you kind of deserved what you got. It’s all good though, you’re the man with three rings already and you’ve got years ahead of you. Make it right homes.

Congrats to the Giants. I didn’t need Plaxico’s waterworks at the end, but hey, cats were talking shit when he guaranteed victory and said the Pats would only score 17 points. Hell, even the humble Tommy B. responded to Plax by saying 1. “Is Plax going to play defense” and 2. “give us a little credit”… sheeyut, seems to me he gave yall too much credit since you only mustered up 14 points.

Given that Plax can’t speak on the topic right now, I’ll do it for him. AND DEN WHAT?!

Finally, how silly does THIS cat look right now?

Damn son, put some clothes on. Ok, how about now?
Anyway, Tiki looks like a real clown right now. I mean, he left the team talking all that “I have other opportunities” and as soon as his ass leaves the Giants start manning up and playing as a team. Sad to say, but both he and Jeremy Shockey were quietly more a part of the problem than the solution. All this talk about Shockey being a “premier” tight end. Really? I can’t tell on the field. Anyway, Tiki and his brother Rhonde look really silly right now.

Michael Vick aint got shit on these two cats. Lol, look at the dog… If he could talk he’d definitely be yelling “Yelp!” (Scooby).

I mean, it’s almost like Tiki lost a championship more than the Giants won it without him. Pretty terrible. Congrats to the fellas… Fire up that “Ballin” song one last time.

– Lake

Belichick is AP Coach of the Year

Bill Belicheat was named the 2007 Associated Press Coach of the Year today.

Congrats from UvT. We were definitely pulling for you. Let me get this straight. This is a cheater.

This is not:

I love the highly ethical, consistent and completely unbiased media members. I guess it pays to have some homies to spread the blame errr cloud the issue errr get your back.

I know, I know, Belichick is just misunderstood. I know. Keep up the good work Bill. Who knows, maybe you can get with your boy Dubyah are run for public office. Belicheat in 2008!!!

– Lake

Belicheat to NFL: I’m so hood…

If any of you saw last night’s game you know what this post is about. I was watching the game last night and as the Patriots were making that last drive all I can think of is how Bill Belichick needs to make his own version of one of the hottest songs out now, I’m so Hood Remix. Yall know the intro where T Pain hypes up the song with all the ways he’s hood. Funny, I always that he was more prison bitch hood if anything, but who knows. I guess he laid the song down flat and the joint is hot so I shouldn’t hate too much. Anyway, this is Bill’s intro to the very same song and as always, you must listen to the song, linked below, first in order to get the joke:

I’m so Hood (Remix) by Billy the Cheat aka Bill Belichick feat. Tom Brady, Randy Moss, some dude’s wife/Bill’s new girl and a high definition video camera

I’m soooo Hood (Listen)

I wear these wrinkled khakis up on my waist

I got this ice grille all on my face

cuz yall reporterz is planning to hate (I rock a HOOD)

And I got yo wife up at my house

Akinyele blaring out,

you know what I’m talking about (I bout dis HOOD-OD)

And and all my Pats fans won’t ya stand up (my Pats iz Hood-od)

my hood assistance pick that footage up

I don’t care what yall be talkin’ bout,

if you aint feelin Billy go home n pout it -ou-ou-out

16-0 iz bout dis-HOOD!!!!

The Pats just barely edged by the Baltimore Ravens last night as a result of a series of timeouts, penalties, suspect calls and timely plays made by Tom Brady and the New England receivers. The game was kind of crazy. You’re sitting there watching it saying to yourself, “huh, the Ravens are actually in this game” to “man, the Ravens have a chance” to “wow, the Ravens are about to really beat these cats” to “muthafucka, the Hood master himself, Billy Beli-Cheat done gotten over on the league again, I can’t wait to hear his evasive mumbling and grumbling answers in the presser.”

You know what’s hilarious? You often have to look for “bad” pictures of cats to make your point, but in the case of B-Cheat, ALL his pics look like this.

True to form, Bill was a m*therfucker after the game, being the exact asshole that we thought he was.

Shoot, even Tom Brady was a bit of a jerk at the end of the game. He didn’t take too kindly to the notion that they “got all the calls at the end,” a question one of the reporters asked him. I’ve never heard Tom ice down a reporter like that though. I mean, he really fired back at him “you tell me if we got them, I get fined if I talk about.. yeah and earlier in the game, we didn’t get the calls dickhead”. Ok, the “dickhead” was added in by me, but that’s what he meant.

I guess having a baby out of wedlock and getting busted for cheating will make a dude get a lil prickly. Hey, I still like Tom though. He’s a good cat and he’s dead nice at throwing the pill. When he ran for that first down on 4th and 6, after missing it twice before, that was ballsy. Homey has the heart of a lion, will of a champion…oh and he’s got Gisele so you can only hate so much.

Anyway, the story remains the same.

Just when you think hated front-runners are gonna finally get what’s coming to them, Belichick gets over on the league and does it in true asshole fashion. I can’t lie… I wanted B-more to win, but you just got to root for Evil on some level, too.

One thing is for sure, Bill Belichick aka The Hoody aka Beli-cheat is so damn hood. And speaking of being so damn hood, is DJ Khaled that damn hood that it’s suddenly ok for him to be running around yelling the N-word like he’s on set of the Chris Rock Show or something?

(You better be hood fool)

I mean, he didn’t just say it a little bit, he really went at it. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see nary a trace of Sub Saharan African in that cat… I’m sure his boys are good with it, but he best watch his back. You best be that hood before some civilized suited up corporate black man sets you straight about the rules for who can and cannot say what to who.

Damn, sorry, now THAT was hood. Late.

– Lake

New England Patriots: Best Team Ever?

What are they putting in the water in Massachusetts?  First the Red Sox turn it up in the playoffs to win the World Series.  The Celtics are dragging everyone early with the new Big 3.  But these New England Patriots are putting on the best show the NFL has seen in years.  Brady just stands in the pocket waiting to pick people apart.  Randy Moss is looking like the player everyone thought he was when he was drafted.  The defense is crushing people.  No gimmicks, no flash, they are just beating the hell out of every team that gets put in front of them.

You think this guy has a chip on his shoulder?  How do you get to the cut off sweatshirt anyway?  Does it mean you are too hot or too cold?  Seriously, if is like a t-shirt made out of that thick ass sweatshirt material.  They don’t sell those for a reason.  If you don’t want sleeves, go to the regular T.  If you need to be warm, go with the sweatshirt.  There are actual options between the two.  The long sleeve T for instance, the sweater vest, those terrible windbreakers, a members only jacket.  I mean he is one more cut away from looking like one of those cats in the gym that wear zubaz pants.

Anyway, the Patriots are about to make the NFL drop in a mercy rule.  They won 56-10 last night.  They’ve averaged more than 40 points per game.  Brady has 38 touchdowns so far, projected for 61.  Payton had 49 a few seasons ago.  Brady has 6 games left, but the way he’s passing he’ll have it by halftime on December 9th.  And after Don Shula was talking all that shit, what do you think they are going to do to the Dolphins (going for their own special kind of perfect season this year) on December 23?

With all the success in Boston, what would happen if the teams all started working together to form some kind of super team?

Forget it, that’s just ridiculous.

-Brock