Archive for the ‘March Madness’ Category

Man Up Monday

March 31, 2008

On the last day of March we have a very special March Madness edition of Man Up Monday. I’ve got to send a big Man Up to all of the cats who didn’t have the balls to pick all four number one seeds to make the Final Four.


Your boy Brock has all four seeds left in the Final Four.  I know, I know all you punks think taking all four Number 1 seeds is actually the b*tch move.  Well how about this, you can talk all the junk you want until I’m right.  Don’t double think yourself here, think about it.  Anyone who makes their choices based on the individual games and sees that they end up with four #1 seeds usually goes back and makes some changes.  I pushed on through and rode that baby to the top of my pool.

Lake was actually at the top of the UvT office rankings until I blazed him up today.  The big money is to win the whole pool, but I won this by picking the Final Four.


Oh yeah, been pimpin’ since pimpn’ been pimpin.

Second place goes to Steph Curry and whoever that cat was who ended up taking that last shot in the Davidson-Kansas game.


By the way, did anyone else see Stephen Curry’s moms?  Damn Dell Curry, way to get all the mileage out of that mediocre career.


Man Up Monday: Duke Blue Devils

March 24, 2008

Oh hell no. You all know I didn’t want to do this, but this weeks man up Monday goes out to the Duke Blue Devils. I was watching the game on Saturday as our lead slipped away, then I looked up with about 4 minutes to go and we had 49 points…49 POINTS. I guess the three ball wasn’t falling huh fellas?


I know, I know I feel the same way. Hey Coach K, this summer I’m gonna need you to work on something. I want you to hit the recruiting trail, I need you to take a tape measure with you. When you walk into a young man’s home, I want you to extend the tape measure out to 6 feet 10 inches. Hold it up, if the young man is not taller than that tape measure, turn around, and walk out of that house. Repeat until you have success at least two times.


What happened to this dude?

Well, another Duke season over. I feel bad because I actually had Duke losing to West Virginia in my bracket (you gotta clip ’em early before the emotion runs away from you). At least Georgetown lost too to soften the blow and avoid making us the only top team to get clipped. Here’s the real problem, with all the basketball I watched, no one rolls with a more melanin deficient squad than the Duke Blue Devils. I hear playing old school basketball, but not that old school. In fact, in a UvT exclusive, I’ve got a picture of our 2008 recruiting class.



Duke Blue Devils. Get a big man. Recruit some brothers. Get in the weight room this summer and…Man UP!


March Madness is the Worst, Best Thing Ever

March 16, 2008

March Madness is widely recognized as the best sports tournament on television. It let’s you know everything that is wrong with College Football, it gives you great storylines to follow, it gives the little team a chance to win it all. Anyone who goes on a six game winning streak goes home national champion.


I know, I know it has been seven years, but this is my house dammit. Respect the Blue Devils. Here’s the deal. Starting tomorrow, people will be spending hours trying to figure out if Indiana is going to beat Arkansas (by the way, it’s a toss up…I’m picking Arkansas to bounce back from that terrible loss to Georgia to clip the Hoosiers) Also, I know my man J. Maal Nahmsayin in the NYC is about to come down with a terrible disease that usually seems to flare up about this time every year. 48 hour flu, always starts on a Thursday in March, craziest thing.

UVT NEWS FLASH: Indiana has a chance to win if they bring back Kelvin Sampson and that naked Indiana cheerleader. What do you think about that gameplan Kelvin?


Yeah, Indiana….I pick Indiana.


So here’s what I hate. As of this moment there has already been over five hours of coverage about the matchups, the bubble teams that should have made it in, all the teams that might not have deserved to get in that made it, all that BS. Look I get it, theoretically any team can win. Practically those teams in discussion aren’t making it past next Sunday…mmmk? Arizona State was 19 and 12. You want to get into the tourney? Don’t lose so many damn games…how about that. Dayton? Let me tell you something, there aren’t any awards for RPI rankings. You want to matter in College basketball? Don’t lose so many damn games…in fact, don’t be in the Atlantic 10 conference, and while you are at it don’t finish the season 6-6 and don’t lose on the second day of your conference tournament. Thanks but no thanks. Virginia Tech?


I know coach, you’d have to be stupid not to let your squad in because of your “quality loss” to UNC. Go ask Brady Quinn and Charlie Weis about quality losses homey. An L is still an L. Enjoy that #1 seed in the NIT. You won’t win that either…that’s why your squad isn’t in the tournament.

See, Brock cuts straight to the chase I just did in five minutes what Digger Phelps and Jay Bilas have been trying to do for the last five hours. As a matter of fact, let’s address the “bad” teams in the tournament. Cornell, Baylor, Kentucky…you’ll be going home too.

Oh, and I usually don’t do this but uhhhhhh, Carolina got the overall #1 top seed. Roy, how will you celebrate?


Roy hit the flo, next thing you know, Roy got low, low, low , low, low, low, low low.

Psych-lo T, How about you?

Seriously…what was that “celebration” about? He looks like a nine year old fighting.. Ridiculous.