Well, for all you Vick/Falcons lovers out there, your boy finally got jacked up today.
Oh yes, if it wasn’t that damn Vick chew toy that got in Michael’s ass, now it’s likely going to be jail time for real. The UvT geechie bureau has just reported that Michael Vick will in fact take the Feds’ deal and plead guilty to federal dogfighting conspiracy charges. WOW.
I wonder what the reaction will be? First, you know the same group of “sports fans” that are outraged by Mike Tyson/Barry Bonds/OJ Simpson/Allen Iverson/Terrell Owens/Randy Moss/Ron Artest/Pacman Jones, you know, the old pasty dough boys who love to sit back and think about the good ole days when American Sports were “pure” (like the days of segregated ball with Babe Ruth and Joe DiMaggio).
(you should see these guys when they’re pissed)
Yeah, those guys, they’re ecstatic. As they should be. Anytime a top flight, non-teeth showing, cornrow rocking cat who makes millions of bucks, no matter how much he is bad mouthed for being a “thug”, is still able to get kids from both the ‘burbs and the city to rock his jersey, you know he needs to be shut down! (AI, you’re next) It should be interesting to hear the sanctimony that is sure to emanate from Bad Ole Days haters like Bob Ryan and Mike Lupica, or their funnier reincarnated counterparts, Skip Bayless/Sports Guy from Espn.com. Believe me, they are LOVING THIS!
And then you’ve got the people who HATE it.
(when axed about this development, Lil Bit, pictured above, said, “maaayne, this is some bullshit”)
You know, it’s the same crowd that either went to or thought seriously about going to the NBA All-Star Weekend in Vegas last season. They love the Stop Snitchin’ campaign, DMX, Biggie, Rasheed Wallace, Ron Artest, and absolutely HATE Donovan McNabb, but that’s another story entirely.
Anyway, I’ll take a page out of thick Jameka’s (Big Brother 8 ) book and just chalk this up to “God being so gangsta”. Indeed, there is no question that this was the work of the almighty and he’s punishing who? Oh yeah, the entire city of Atlanta, as he should!
After all, you knew there would be repercussions for the city that brought you such abominations as the man perm, terms like “Crunk”, Creflo Dollar, Hammer Pants, MC Hammer ‘hisself’, homo-thugs in pink wife beaters, an assortment of ridiculous jigs (starting with the dirty Bird, ending no time soon), the Atlanta Braves Mascot, pimp juice challises, the term “real talk”, the debate between a Man of Morehouse vs. a Morehouse Man, all that damn traffic, Lil Jon’s “what, ye-aaaah, and ooo-kaay”, the proliferation of grillz (or was that Miami, who knows, it’s still ATL’s fault) and finally the Atlanta Hawks (with the only quality contribution being OutKast).
It’s about time yall got what was coming to ya. So now Vick will be disciplined. The football team will suck. Nobody will go to your games (they already weren’t really going anyway) and you’ll have to hear the closeted racist gloat for another 10 years or so. Believe me, they’ve been waiting for this moment since OJ was acquitted. Oh yeah, they’re gonna have fun with this one. Enjoy. And Mike, I just hope you say the right things and do the right things so we can see you back on that Buffalo Bills errrr NFL sideline some day. Out.
PS- R. Kelly, you’re next!