Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

Cowboys Vs. Eagles

September 16, 2008

That is one of the best football games I’ve seen in a long time.

I really didn’t care who won.  It was high scoring, but not because of bad defense, these guys were just out there making plays.  TO even proved why he worked on that double move for so long.

“I’m just working on my shit.”  It worked last night too.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: Ohio State Buckeyes

September 15, 2008

You knew it was coming…I knew it was coming…but even I didn’t think it was going down like that.

I thought the 18 point spread was a little aggressive, but apparently it wasn’t aggressive enough because Ohio state got whooped.  Look, I know Ohio State has been embarrassed in the last two national championship games, but they took it too far this time.  They not only embarrassed themselves, they embarrassed the Big 10, they even embarrassed me while I was watching it.

Ohio State fan, what exactly were you waiting for again?  Beanie Wells was not waiting for a miracle, he just wasn’t playing.  Jim Tressel did not have a master plan for tripping up USC.  Oh, and the Ohio State Buckeyes are not that good.  That Ohio game was not a fluke, it was an indication of how good this team actually is.  You know the worst part?  Ohio State didn’t play that badly.  They executed on defense, they were running decent plays on offense, they just simply were not better that USC.

Hey Jim.  What ya handing out Buckeyes for this week?

“Todd Boeckman, you took a hit from the blindside and managed not to suffer whiplash.  You get a buckeye.”

“Terrelle Pryor.  When you were running away from the USC defense, you still looked like you were playing the game as opposed to scrambling for your life.  You get a buckeye.”

“Beanie Wells.  But not playing you are the only player who made a positive contribution to the team this week.  Buckeye.

OSU did do one thing right.  They scheduled the always tough Troy University, of Troy state, in the town of Troy…wait, where the hell is Troy?  Way to keep the tough teams on the schedule there.  That is how you always bullshit your way into the national title game.

You want to know what is crazy?  OSU will probably be ranked long about 10 this week.  If they win the Big 10, and win out the rest of their games.  They will be right back in the National title debate.  If top teams lose the way they did last year, they will be talking about their “quality loss” against USC.

We don’t need another debacle like that.

OSU, I need you to Man Up just go ahead and get another loss out of the way now.  Sometimes you can Man Up by stepping down.  Do what’s right.

-Brock

Oh and Will and Triple B…HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa!  I love it.

Ohio State vs. USC Update

September 12, 2008

We finally got the OSU boys to Man Up and lay their pre-game predictions down before the game. Way to step up fellas.  This just in.  Beanie Wells was out of the game earlier…now he is listed a “questionable”.  I know, I know, Jim Tressel is just sandbagging.  Beanie Wells is actually going to dress up in a marching band uniform.  Do the pre-game songs.  High-step on out to dot the ‘i’.

Then he’ll rip off the uniform to reveal the number 28 jersey, stiff arm a cat

and lead the Buckeyes to victory.

Even the “don’t tase me bro” guy thinks you need a better plan than that.

Look, I know that is what you dream of when you go to sleep at night, but it ain’t happening.  This ain’t RudySamwise Gamgee is not on that sideline.  It’s okay, really it is.  You’ll still win the Big 10 and get to get your ass kicked by USC again in January.

See ya on Monday.

-Brock

Ohio State v. USC Preview

September 10, 2008

I don’t know how they got here, but there are a lot of Buckeyes here at Us Versus Them.  I was skeptical at first, but the cats who roll with us are definitely Us so we let em slide.  One problem though, they are completely delusional about the Ohio State vs. USC game this weekend.

Sure, they dominate the Big Tenleven right now.  Sure, they’ve been to the national championship game for the last two years and won the big game in 2003.  The problem?  They also got drug the fuck up out of those games for the last few years.  Ohio State is really the best argument out there for a playoff system in College Football.  Sure, they win the Big 10 every year lately, but they also stop playing football long about Halloween and wait for every other team to beat itself up for a month before the season is over and somehow rise to the top without playing a single game.

In this corner we have the USC Trojans.

Every year is not their year.  They’ve been struggling since the end of the Leinart, Reggie Bush era they’ve gotten shocked more than they should have but they looked great in that first game.  Every once in a while, they end up looking like a pro team out there more than a college team.  This seems like one of those times.

These teams lock it up on Saturday night out in California in the first huge football game of the year.  Oh, did I mention that Ohio State is going at it without their star player Beanie Wells and they almost lost one to Ohio last week.  I mean literally had to Man Up like they were UvT fans playing on Monday instead of Saturday afternoon.

So here it is.  Ohio State vs. USC is must see tv this weekend.  I think Ohio State needs a miracle to pull it off.

Is there anything I missed?

Right.  Go Trojans.

-Brock

—————UPDATE—————–

Will and Triple B are usually up in this joint errrrrryday and twice on Mondays, meanwhile we haven’t heard hide nor hair from these dudes.  OSU fan…Man Up!

Patrick Ewing Is Still an Underachiever

September 10, 2008

Patrick Ewing is on the long list of people who Michael Jordan jacked rings from.  The Knicks never fully had that killer instinct with him on the squad and have been a debacle ever since.

Big Pat got enshrined into the Basketball Hall of Fame recently…uhhhhhhh…and apparently he thought it was a casual affair.

Come on Patrick, you didn’t know they were going to hit you with the commemorative blazer?  You knew Pat Riley was coming smooth, even coordinated the black shirt with it.  Dickie V hit em with the collegate look, and you rock the shorts, untucked shirt and Mandals?  You know how you know you are a complete asshole?  When you are so ridiculous that the professional photographer, your fellow inductees, and your former coach don’t tell you you got half a collar popped like you feel like dancin’ buuuuut just half way.  That is terrible.  Step yo game up.

Man Up Monday: Fantasy Football “Geniuses”

September 8, 2008

I just want to start off by saying I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning.  I could barely sleep last night, stayed in all day.  Only instead of toys, turkey and Christmas lights, I broke out the mini keg of Bell’s Oberon and rocked the homemade wings (buffalo and lemon pepper with a side of blue cheese) and fired up this HD NFL Sunday Ticket (rocking the main game on the projector with the “game mix” on the side with all the other games running simultaneously.)  My man cave is real.  The NFL is back.

And it is already great.  My Falcons and Michael Turner drug the hell out of the Detroit Lions.  Carolina came down to the wire.  T.O. had a crazy almost lost it behind his back catch, and my fantasy squad just broke the 100 point barrier to lead all teams.  Oh! Bears defensive TD!  Killing these fools.  Anyway, for those of you who follow Fantasy Football, the big prediction this year was that the traditional running back era was over and the the QB gives the best value in this years draft.  You see, normally running backs are the best fantasy players, they score the most touchdowns, they get the ball 25-30 times a game, and they end up being pretty durable.  This year, because Tom Brady and Randy Moss went wild, everyone said Brady was an early first rounder, as high as 3, he went 5 in my league.  They were also pumping Romo and Moss as other first rounders.  Well, here’s the risk with taking an early QB:

Brady may be out for the entire season with a knee injury which will kill the Patriots season.  Did I mention I picked last?  That means that although I didn’t want to, I ended up with Randy Moss and Peyton Manning in the first two rounds?  Who were my running backs?  Well for one, I got Michael Turner in the 3rd round…and he killed it today.  Oh and to the rest of the cats in my league, don’t even bother looking for Matt Cassel on Wednesday, my #1 waiver wire position puts him on my squad.  Thanks.

So now the Patriots season, and all those fantasy geniuses who just killed thousands of fantasy squads probably feel a lot like this:

So all the pros need to go back to the drawing board on trying to break out of tradition.  Oh, and everyone in my league better watch out.  I’m picking up right where I left off last year, dominating.

So to all the Fantasy prognosticators, to the New England Patriots, to Matt Cassel, to my man H. Larry who somehow inexplicably ended up with Tom Brady, Rudi Johnson and Vince Young, to the squad who would have beat every team in the league this week other than mine…MAN UP!  HAAAAAAAA!

-Brock the Week One Champ

Chad Ocho Cinco Has Lost His Mind!

September 5, 2008

Now last season when Chad called himself “Ocho Cinco” for an entire week and showed up on Sunday with the rigged Ocho Cinco jersey, it was pretty funny.  I’ve even called him Ocho Cinco since then.  In a sport where you get paid to create your own personality, I have to say it was a good move.

Now Chad has officially changed his name to Chad J. Ocho Cinco.  Uhhhh Chad, this joke ended 10 months ago homey.  Now you’ve made it permanent and the Bengals are officially changing his name.  It is already updated on the rosters page on ESPN.  Chad, let’s keep it fresh.  You could have changed it to “Unstoppable”, really made it crazy.  Touchdown by Chad Unstoppable.

This is the worst thing since He Hate Me.

You better rip it up Chad, or change the name back long about Week 4.  Oh you also better hope the Bengals are playing winning ball this year too.  There is nothing worse than being 2-7 and walking around with Ocho Cinco on your back like an asshole.

-Brock


It’s College Football (Rant) Season Again

September 4, 2008

Watching Michigan getting punked in their own house by a team full of Levi Johnston looking cats from Utah, it just reminded me of the best part of College Football…the rants of course.  Listen to my very favorite dude, Dan Hawkins going from 0 to 80 miles per hour in about 3 seconds.

That “It aint intramurals” followed by “go play intramurals brother” is awesome.  Somebody needs to tell the Sarah Palin apologists that it’s big time American Party Politics…. It’s the Republican National Convention…  It aint intramurals.  Ok, let’s keep this about football.  So here’s another one, but it’s not nearly as good.

Here’s another, John L. Smith from Michigan State:

Dude, is there anything better than the line “that’s a damn coaching mistake”.  HAAAA  Yes it was, so much so that you were promptly fired at season’s end.  Next.

– Lake

Shocker: Jamaican Track Stars Are Beginning to Get Busted For Drugs

September 3, 2008

Wait, you can’t smash world records while jogging the last 15 meters in a 100 meter race, as you run sideways and order up some delicious ox tails?

Come on now.  I’m not saying all the Jamaicans were on performance enhancers, but didn’t it seem a bit odd to see so many of those cats getting their effortless Gold Medal trot on?  If it looks too good to be true, it probably is.  Today it’s some hurdlers getting busted, in 6 months it will be someone else and finally, Usain’s presently undetectable Rum Runner-HGH-Red Stripe elixir of speed will be exposed.  Ha  Dude clearly didn’t want to break that record too much, which is why he jogged the last 15 meters!!!!

I know, I know, he just works harder, plus he’s 6, 4.  Believe me, I know.  Just wait and though you heard it here first, believe me, if you paid any attention, you’ve already told yourself that something wasn’t right.  ha

– Lake