Archive for the ‘Al Gore’ Category

Mitt Romney: Errytime I see Black children Bling Bling, MLK Day obligations Bling Bling

January 22, 2008

There isn’t much to say about this video because it’s just so self explanatory. Just put this display at the bottom of your “Why Mitt Romney Shouldn’t be President” list (also known as my “Mitt’s a mufucka” list) which if it’s like mine, should be numbered at about half a c-note ‘long about now.

Simply awful and actually pretty hard for me to watch. Yep, I went ahead and slotted that mini debacle on my running “Mitt’s a mufucka” list like this:

65. Some Boston Big Dig ceiling planks (errors made on Mitt’s watch as Gobner of Mass) fell on one of my neighbors two years ago, she’s dead.

66. Tang inspired sun tanning oil and the white house don’t mix.

67. Mitt saw dark skinned people for the first time in his life, ON MLK DAY and immediately said “Who let the dogs out” and “Bling Bling” to fill the void.

68. Black people weren’t allowed in Mormon Church until 1978!!!! Actually, this one has been repeated 4 times at numbers 3, 7, 15, and now since I first saw this horrible video and thought about why Mitt actually went directly to racial stereotypes to ingratiate himself to those kids and make himself feel comfortable with their mere presence.

Don’t worry Mitt. The truth is that you probably didn’t have much of a chance with black folks anyway. Being told by your Church that they “bear the mark of cain” probably soured them on your candidacy long ago, ya know? People are just funny like that. But your strategy was flawed from the start, let’s face it, that never worked for Al Gore.


It sure didn’t work for Hillary.


Hell, it didn’t do much for Jesse neither.


Lol.. oooh boy…I’m in trouble now. Brock’s gonna kick my ass! Hey, it was worth it. Hopefully he’ll just beat on my legs like Eddie and Charlie Murphy did to Rick James.

Anyway, Mitt, knowing your Republican constituents like I do, might I suggest a more ahem “traditional” approach? Yep, just go ahead and channel Rudy Guiliani for tips how to “celebrate” Dr. King’s dream as you guys see it:


Oh yes, Rudy has definitely kept it real over the years.

– Lake

Lil Al cuts his losses, pleads guilty to horse, weed, reds, yellows and speeding charges

August 2, 2007

Sorry we’re so late to this, but we’d be remiss if we didn’t follow-up on our old post to report that former Vice President Al Gore’s son, Al Gore III, pleaded guilty Monday to possessing marijuana and other drugs when he was caught speeding this month in south Orange County in a Toyota Prius.


Dressed like a G, Lil Al showed up to court on Monday doing his best Hollywood perp walk. Now if you remember, Big Al was nooot too happy when he first heard of Lil Al’s most recent run-in with the law.


And people, please note that he entire case could be dismissed once he completes a drug rehabilitation program offered to first-time offenders. First-time offenders? Need I refer you all to Lil Al’s laundry list of offenses since his days back at St. Albans in DC, a school he was kicked out of for burning the hippie lettuce, among other transgressions?! Hilarious. AG3 is like the Teflon Don, nothing sticks to this cat. Upon hearing his son was gonna get the old privileged soft shoe, Big Al was finally chilled out and back into his previous posture.


Al Gore III, who has been “receiving treatment” for his partying errrr “addictions” at an undisclosed location since his arrest, was scheduled to be arraigned on Wednesday. No word if he ever had to show up.

He entered his plea with little fanfare, unlike his 100+ mph, ridin super dirty antics that got him into all this, at a Laguna Niguel courthouse during a brief hearing. Oh Al, if I could only be you for a day homey, hell, just kick it with you for a week, I’d be on cloud 9! Holler at me when you’re ready to get at these pros, drugs, and/or one of your environmentally friendly, hybrid, Fast and Furious LA drift benders you like to go on. I’m all in playa!

Weed + Illegal Prescription Drugs + 100 mph on the freeway, Al Gore III is a wild boy!!!

July 6, 2007

We’re usually accused of siding with the liberals (it’s not that, it’s just that the GOP is literally insane right now), so we’ll go ahead and call this one straight, young Al Gore III is really a wild cat.


Here he is in a 2003 mug shot. Ole boy was blowing tree, driving free and loving his life until the Five-O wanted a few words with him. Musta been a Republican cop because you know ole boy has been busted many a time and gotten away with it.

People often ask me, why oh why Lakey do these rich kids do this? The answer, of course, we do it because we can! Let’s face it, homey is nearly untouchable as long as he doesn’t commit any actual violence. Supposedly he got kicked out of St. Albans, the best prep school in all of the DC metro area, for what? Dasrite for burning the hippie lettuce and still he was admitted to Harvard. Come on now. Look at his rap sheet:

  • August 2000, Gore III was charged with reckless driving and speeding for driving 97 MPH in a 55 MPH speed zone. He was fined $125 for speeding, and driving privileges in the state of North Carolina were suspended.
  • September 2002, Gore III was ticketed for driving under the influence by military police just outside Fort Myer in suburban Virginia. He was not taken into custody.
  • December 2003, Gore III was arrested and charged with marijuana possession in Bethesda, Maryland. He was pulled over because he was driving without having his headlights on. A plea deal was reached in February 2004 and he was sentenced to a substance abuse program.
  • At 2:15 am on July 4, 2007, Gore was arrested in Laguna Hills in Orange County, California for speeding over 100 MPH in a Toyota Prius. Gore admitted to recently smoking marijuana and was found to be in possession of a small amount of marijuana along with Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, Adderall, and Soma. Police reported that Gore had no prescriptions for the pharmaceuticals.

Here is lil Al’s most recent mug shot from yesterday, July 5, I can’t lie, he looks pretty damn good. Lost some pounds since ’03, stuntin like his daddy I guess.


Hell, I like Lil Al. I think Bush should give him the medal of freedom or maybe commute AG 3’s community service he’ll get for this charge, after all, he was doing some pretty righteous shit when he got busted. First, the fuzz said he was going 100 MPH in a damn Toyota Prius.. That’s impressive!!!! Don’t those joints run on vegetable oil and lightening bug excrement or something? Sheeeyut, AG 3 should be commended for showing just how far and fast you can take one of those little match box cars.


(Me, I roll in the Hummer H2.. It’s gotta be done)

And he was burning the most righteous of tree from what I hear.. I mean, really hittin that chronic.


I’ve always wondered about these environmentalist. Don’t they ever wonder just how much they’re F’ing with the ozone layer by blowing all that weed into the atmosphere? I mean, you’ve never met an environmentalist who doesn’t partake in the peace pipe right? There’s gotta be a study out there somewhere about the effects of the tree on the trees, right?

Sounds like Lil Al was on a 5th of July bender though homey.. he had Xanax, Valium, Vicodin, Adderall, and something called “Soma”, never ever heard of that shit. With all those drugs, the only thing I can think of is homey was engaged in an all night chess boxing match.


You know, that wild chess where you play for ten moves and then box for 2 rounds? Gotta be something. Oh and I just saw Big Al said, AG 3 is “going to get the help he needs”, sheyut, all Lil Al needs is a better personal assistant and a chauffeur and he’ll be just fine.

Stay clean Al, stay clean.