It doesn’t excuse it, but clearly Silda knew 1. That Easy E liked to get his freak on and 2. That he was knocking down something other than her for years.
That’s the new word according to sources close to Eliot and Silda Spitzer. I’m not shocked at all. I know that for some of your naive folks out there, it’s as shocking as seeing Kaiser Sose walk straight. Wake up folks. This is what people do…Luke from Accounting is banging out Suzy from Human Resources, who is smoking tweeds on her lunch break with Zach from IT. Just because you can’t see people getting their Client 9 on, riding the white horse or f*cking for snacks, doesn’t mean it doesn’t go on. Always has, always will. But Eliot embarrassed Silda, so even must agree that it’s off with his head.
Unless that fool in the back is hiding a G in his Jamz he needs to back up off the merchandise.
Realistically, what would it have cost him to hit that night. You know she won’t whore in any old dump, so let’s say $350 for the highest end Jersey Shore Hotel. Then you add $200 the hotel would later add to his tab for those stolen minibar snacks and mini liquor bottles. I know, I know, a scrub like this wouldn’t even have a credit card to to put on hold for incidentals, I know, just humor him err me. You know that she’d mark up that cab ride, normally $10, to $50 and then $1,000 for the deed itself. Oh don’t worry, lubrication and condoms are included….What, you thought they wouldn’t be? Come on, she’s a professional.
So let’s summarize:
$ 350
$ 200
$ 50
$1000
____________
$1,600 Subtotal
$ 320 20% Standard Gratuity for Ho Activities
$1,920 Grand total
So there you have it. That’s what it would have taken for this clown to get some tail out of Kristin Ashley Rae Maika Alexandra Youmans Dupree DiPietro that night. Damn, you know a babe is shady when she’s got that many names. Meanwhile, I’ll put any amount of money on this chick having some D list boyfriend before summer starts. Publicity stunt no doubt, but it will make for some decent blogging. My guess right now is Steve-O from Jackass.
Why not, right? Nobody cares what he does as is, it’s good for headlines and you know she knows how to satisfy…. Go get it brother.
Meet rebellious runaway, turned aspiring R&B singer, turned Elliot Spitzer’s last hoe Ashley Youmans aka Ashley Rae Maika DiPierto aka Ashley Alexandra Dupre aka Kristen from the Emperor’s Club VIP.
And yes, that is an interesting shirt she has on with that right J game creeping out, fighting for respectability….but we’ll get to that later.
Anyway, this babe right here is a piece of work. You KNOW you’re dealing with a scandalous, low arse, bottom feeding hizzoe when approximately two days after a sex scandal rocks the state of New York and not even 24 hours after the Chief Executive of one of the most influential governmental bodies in the world resigns, this chick’s name and pictures are suddenly plastered all over the internet. Can you say Cha-Ching?
And come to find out, this chick is an aspiring R&B singer. You know what they say, no publicity is bad publicity, especially if you’ve been turning tricks to pay your rent since you were 17 years old. So after she got done fucking the Governor, getting paid, getting caught and testifying, I’m sure ole Ashley was like, “hey, this is my big break!!!” And she’s probably right. Wasn’t it Confucius that said “one man’s ruined political career, life and family is another 22-year old hoes’ shot of a lifetime?” That Confucius, always right about stuff like this.
Well, one thing I must say, I’m glad to finally know what a $5,000 piece of ass looks like. Check ole Ashley getting her extended hoe game on in St. Tropez:
I can’t lie. She appears to have everything you want in a high-priced hooker.
1. Concave stomach piece, check
2. Beautiful breast-tah-sis, check
3. Mediterranean/Sorta Rican tan piece, check
4. Fairly revealing swim wear, check
5. Presence in a foreign country that she has no business visiting but for the fact that she’s charging men exorbitant amounts of jack so that she can do coke, drink cristal, fuck and still have a few pennies to put away for her “singing career,” CHECK
And what about that singing career. Let me tell you, it’s real bad. Check her song “What We Want.” <——The Irony of it all.
Look, let’s just say that she wouldn’t be going to Hollywood on American Idol unless she was blowing Simon during the commercial breaks, which given what this chick is all about, is fairly likely.
My thing about this babe is that she almost looks like a shape changer. I mean, at one point she’s got the full-on, now you see me, now you don’t Tucan Sam schnauzer-beak piece going:
Then the next thing you know she’s rocking the smoothed out strawberry blond look with the even skin and non-offensive proboscis:
Damn, the home wrecker looks kind of good here, I must admit. What’s the difference, besides Cocaine nose on the first one and Dr. 90210 nose on the second. Still, baby girl is a chameleon, but I guess the ability to change up one’s look is a valuable commodity in the hoe game. Anyway, peep what she had to say on her myspace page about her life below:
“When I was 17, I left home. It was my decision and I’ve never looked back. Left my hometown. Left a broken family. Left abuse. Left an older brother who had already split. Left and learned what it was like to have everything, and lose it, again and again. Learned what it was like to wake up one day and have the people you care about most gone. I have been alone. I have abused drugs. I have been broke and homeless. But, I survived, on my own. I am here, in NY because of my music.”
Right, your music. Talk about “fucking for tracks.” Jeez. And where does she get this enlightened grip on the real world, why from Mom of course…Yes, her Mom, Carolyn Capalbo has weighed in on this matter.
Peep her act:
“She is a very bright girl who can handle someone like the governor (huh?) But she also is a 22-year-old, not a 32-year-old or a 42-year-old, and she obviously got involved in something much larger than her.”
Ya think? Anyway, I would say that this babe has had her 15 minutes of shameful fame and now she’s done, but I know better. People Magazine, 60 Minutes, Larry King and maybe even Good Morning America will be knocking in no time. And you know that “memoir” is already into production. I know, I know, you already had been writing a memoir about your life in the hoe game…
Believe me, you didn’t have to tell me, because I already knew.
You know your post is over when the hizzie throws you the double “peace out” sign. Kristen errr Ashley, can’t wait to see ya on 60 Minutes girl. I wonder if she’ll make any cracks about Easy E’s “love making” or those “dangerous requests” to hit this broad raw dog.
Elliot, please homey, wrap it up, especially with the hoes…..thx.
Now that Elliot is done, it’s interesting to look at some of the satellite issues surrounding this scandal. One I’d like to raise is how strong Silda Spitzer has been throughout this. Supposedly Mrs. Spitzer got word of this debacle on Friday. That means that she had the weekend to slap Elliot around, think about whatever she did or didn’t do that allowed this to occur (believe me, this ran through her mind) and get her mind right about what she was going to do. When the dust settled, there she was, right next to her man.
And if reports are true about her advice for Elliot, she was the one who told him not to be hasty in stepping down from his post. After all, she doesn’t want him to fold up like a damn beeyatch, not after all the work they’ve done building her and Elliot’s career.
I don’t know about yall, but I gotta giver her my highest respeck for doing that.
Sure, you hear some of these silly women and a few men with their skirts in a bunch on tv and radio talking about “Why doesn’t she just leave him.” As if it’s just that simple.
She aint leaving him because that’s her man and they have a life together. That’s why! Because you don’t just turn your back on your family and maybe, just maybe homeboy needs his lady right now to keep him strong.
That’s independent of what he’s done to her. There’s time for that, but these clucking chickens talking about “MEN!! Why do they do this?”
I’ll tell you why:
And this:
And definitely this:
Quite simply because they want to. And some would argue that they are just wired to. That there is nothing you can do about a man looking to hit what evolution has deemed to be fertile ass.
Now Elliot got busted and he’s got to make this right. No question and he deserves all the blame. But Silda has been strong. Silda has stood in there and taken the blows (no ho ho) and Silda is still standing tall. Gotta love a strong woman. Someone who does what she’s got to do rather than just pop off at the mouth and roll the neck at the first sign of trouble.
And on top of that, for a 51 year old woman with three teenage daughters, this Harvard Law School grad has it going on.
Much Respeck for Silda for standing tall to protect what’s her’s. And for those of you who would rather she just reflexively kick Easy E to the curb, tell me when you wake up from fantasy land. I don’t ask my dog to shit where he eats and you shouldn’t ask Silda to either. She knows what she’s doing and if you had a man worth standing up for, rather than a Match.com account and a closet full of skirts you can no longer fit into, you would to.
Us Versus Them 