The Ladies of Summer

I’m not feeling very creative, funny or inspired, so I figured I’d hook up a post for the fellas and by fellas I mean for MYSELF. Anyway, our first lady of summer is Jessica Simpson. You how people say someone walks like they’re “butt driven” or “hips driven”? Well, until now I’ve never seen someone who looks “Tits Driven” (incidentally, when you’re talking about an old school chick like Jess, you definitely say “Tits”, ya know. You keep it old school, “I Love the 80s” real… it’s only right):

Lol. That’s a pretty crazy forward lean, right? It seriously looks like the Js are pulling her (and me) forward. Who knows. Apparently she got boo’d at some country concert.

Jeez, her without those boobs out is like me without my money. It just aint right on any level.

Who would have thought, oh 5 years ago, that her sister would be married to a legitimate rock star and on her way to having a baby while Jess and those great breasts would be single, taken for all her damn loot cakes by her no talent ex and getting boo’d at concerts? Tough. She does look good in that dress though, I’ll give her that. Speaking of a chick that looks good who I’m not usually all that excited about, check out Anna Kournikova at fashion week.

“Hello, hello, Dey know, dey know!”

Oh and I remember Will from “The” Ohio State talking about Rosario Dawson’s breasts back in the day. I’m sure you all already peeped it, but oh well, here we go:

Best cat in the entire pic, that little kid who can’t believe Rosario is working that hose so right. Damn, I didn’t know babygirl was packing like that. But what happened to the rest of her? I guess we’re all getting older. NEXT.

Oh, it’s our favorite Governator Ashley Dupre in a Bikini.

Boy that midsection is slick, but with that mini bottom she can’t be packing too much in the back. Anyway, I’m feeling the wild accessories and tat, so I’m going to give her a thumbs up for this pic. I’m also somehow comforted to know that I’m only looking at a 3 diamond level ho on the 7 diamond must scale. I mean, it’s good to know that in this economy, at least something is holding value out here.

And what would a summer post be without UvT fav Christina Millian?

Huh? I like the enthusiasm but something aint right here. Maybe I need a new t shirt printed up with the phrase “No Reduced Ass Ness” etched on the front. Come on now, I can only hope that angle two is better.

Better, yes, but only slightly. I may require a sex tape to clear this one up. Yikes. I hope she doesn’t have Amy Winehouse disease. Babygirl aint looking right at all. I don’t want to have to downgrade her, but this is NOT what I wanted to see for my Summer bunnies post. Terrible.

– Lake

Milian In a Bikini Still Makes Me Smile

With all this talk of silicone tittays and gelatin asses, it’s good to bring this thing back to one of nature’s best, Christina Milian….She looks so fine don’t you agree?

I know, I know, that’s not really what drew me to this particular set of pictures. Can we bring that thunder in b minor?

Yall musta forgot.

Damn. Now would it be too much to ask for a Milian sex tape? Come on now, we all know it’s out there somewhere, right? Anyway, there really aint much going on out there, so I figured I’d give it up to a all natural babe. It’s kind of like the props Ken Griffey Jr. is getting now for hitting all those homers naturally. Of course, nobody knows if he was on the juice, just like I don’t really know if that’s Milian’s hair. And you know what, I don’t give a damn.

Shit looks right to me. I’ll take it.

– Lake

Standing Tall: Much Respect to Silda Wall Spitzer

Now that Elliot is done, it’s interesting to look at some of the satellite issues surrounding this scandal. One I’d like to raise is how strong Silda Spitzer has been throughout this. Supposedly Mrs. Spitzer got word of this debacle on Friday. That means that she had the weekend to slap Elliot around, think about whatever she did or didn’t do that allowed this to occur (believe me, this ran through her mind) and get her mind right about what she was going to do. When the dust settled, there she was, right next to her man.

And if reports are true about her advice for Elliot, she was the one who told him not to be hasty in stepping down from his post. After all, she doesn’t want him to fold up like a damn beeyatch, not after all the work they’ve done building her and Elliot’s career.

I don’t know about yall, but I gotta giver her my highest respeck for doing that.

Sure, you hear some of these silly women and a few men with their skirts in a bunch on tv and radio talking about “Why doesn’t she just leave him.” As if it’s just that simple.

She aint leaving him because that’s her man and they have a life together. That’s why! Because you don’t just turn your back on your family and maybe, just maybe homeboy needs his lady right now to keep him strong.

That’s independent of what he’s done to her. There’s time for that, but these clucking chickens talking about “MEN!! Why do they do this?”

I’ll tell you why:

And this:

And definitely this:

Quite simply because they want to. And some would argue that they are just wired to. That there is nothing you can do about a man looking to hit what evolution has deemed to be fertile ass.

Now Elliot got busted and he’s got to make this right. No question and he deserves all the blame. But Silda has been strong. Silda has stood in there and taken the blows (no ho ho) and Silda is still standing tall. Gotta love a strong woman. Someone who does what she’s got to do rather than just pop off at the mouth and roll the neck at the first sign of trouble.

And on top of that, for a 51 year old woman with three teenage daughters, this Harvard Law School grad has it going on.

Much Respeck for Silda for standing tall to protect what’s her’s. And for those of you who would rather she just reflexively kick Easy E to the curb, tell me when you wake up from fantasy land. I don’t ask my dog to shit where he eats and you shouldn’t ask Silda to either. She knows what she’s doing and if you had a man worth standing up for, rather than a Match.com account and a closet full of skirts you can no longer fit into, you would to.

– Lake

And I don’t need airbrush for this piiiic: Milian

And yes to my BK crew, I did drop yet another Jay Z, “No Hook” reference. You happy now? I love Brooklyn and Jay Z… ha For all those haters out there that just thought Christina Milian’s genius was limited to a cute smile and some hot photoshop skills, think again.

The heels and the ‘kini are so classy. Ha Hey, if it looks good, it’s all good.

Daaayum, I put my hand up on your (right) hip, when I dip you dip we dip!

Hey, the hater chicks over at bossip said these joints look like a Jet beauty of the month pics..haaa I can’t lie, they got that one right. That astro turf she’s standing on doesn’t help. I can only assume that her boyfriend is taking these before he hits, right? There’s no other excuse for this kind of “spread” by a chick of this caliber. Hey, I aint complaining.

Love the KFC thigh. Here’s the Jet special…

Very nice, how much?

– Lake

======================UPDATE================

My man Brock just hit me from a remote location to let me know that I left a few pics of Milly out. So here they go…Milly from the top of the arch.

Milly throws the Heisman to all the haterz.

Milly rotates it.

Now stop, and wiggle with it (YEAH)

I think K-Ci said it best in his remake of “If you think you’re lonely now“….

EYEEEEEE WANNA TESTIFY!!!! Lordy. That last angle just crashed my pc. Lord help… Seriously, “Elizabeth, I think this is the big one….”

Help. seriously, someone come over and help me.. I’m dying right now. Damn. Even when it’s ulgy, it’s pretty.

Wow. I mean, I could literally just keep on posting pictures of this chick. but I won’t. Nick Cannon is an asshole by the way. How could anyone let this chick get away from them before 2012? Out.

What the celebs rock for Halloween

UvT all star Christina Milian gets a B- for this little number.

I see she went ahead and stole Kanye’s lady’s regular footwear for this number.

Vida Guerra looks good in any outfit and ode to the forrest fires gone wild LAFD number is very much appreciated.

Hmmm, finally an angle on Vida that I’m not completely sure I like. Hey, she’s human, now I’m even more intrigued.

Audrina from the Hills went as the Material Girl…

(I’m pretty sure that’s her “career” on the right)

Ok, I’m feeling her getup. Oh and look, there’s Justin Guidini from American Idol Uno going as…. uhhh, Justin Guardini, a cat who hasn’t mattered since American Idol’s FIRST season.

(Wouldn’t it be great if Just was just going as a bullshit ass version of himself?)

Terrible. And for all you Making the Band 4, Brian H fanatics, Justin Guardini is the living embodiment of every reason why Brian H will be working a broom in no less than 18 months. If this cross over dude, who was on a bigger show and has bigger name recognition can’t make it, then how in the hell is this cat going to make it?

Oh and look, Steroid eeerrrr Psycho T is going as Gerald Henderson’s pinata with his skirt all in a bunch.

(Better get my jabs in now)

Man up and stop cryin’. And of course, Gary Williams is going at a 25 year old co-ed who just might, with the help of some Natty Light and some chicken wangs, get lucky tonight.

(Richmond, VA stand up!!!)

Classic. Out.

– Lake, going as a smooth Nilla Wafer who just doesn’t give a f- well, you know.

================Update=============

Hands down the best costume of the year was done in tandem by John Kitna and his wife.

They rocked this naked coach outfit with the Wendy’s girl to match in order to poke fun at the Detroit Lion’s assistant coach Joe Cullen and his arrest for drunk driving, while naked and ordering a number 4, hold the pickle. haaa Terrible.

——-UPDATE——-

I thought that picture of Vida was UvT original babe Melissa S.  But it wasn’t, so here is what she wore:

Vida’s got more back.  But Melissa never disappoints.

-Brock

Appreciation for Christina Milian Day

Oh yes, we just had to do it again. Christina Milian is the kind of babe you just never get tired of.

For some reason, it’s like she’s always looked exactly as you’d want her to look. Always that perfect age (half your age plus 7, thanks to the Hon. Elijah Muhammad for that one). Always that perfect look… Shape right. I mean, I guess she’s like the personification of that terrible “Cater to You” song by Destiny’s Child, but with Milian, you actually believe it. The smile, the body, the look in the eye.. It’s just everything you want and more. And her look is so diverse. I mean, one day she’s cute and sweet.

The next day she’s hot and sexy.

One day she’s the uber black chick.

The next day it’s a “It’s black, it’s white, who cares because it’s RIGHT” special.

One day you’re getting soft, smooth and supple.

The next day it’s taut, cut and steamy.

(watch that eye now girl)

The one unifying characteristic: They’re all fine and you just have to go back to it every now and again to recharge your batteries. I mean, it’s that right, that good. She’s got a different quality than a Kim Kardashian or even a Vida Guerra. With those chicks, you just know it’s all about sex.. They can’t show the range of a Milian.

(Are you kidding me? This chick gonna put KFC out of business with them thighs)

Seriously, a babe that’s this fine just aint right and somehow that cat Nick Cannon managed to lose her?

(Really sittin on them thangs)

Insane.

– Lake

Guess who’s back?

FOR MORE CHRISTINA MILIAN CLICK HERE 

First, I’ve been real real busy working on my other job, yes, I’m the Rib King, so I had to make sure I wasn’t doing anything to jeapordize my palatial 40 acre estate or my luxury sleds.. And you know Lakey Lake had to get in the gym to maintain my 18 and one half inch pipes… Anyway, I’m back and yes, Milian is still hot as sh*t. Ya dig?

Damn is that mid section ever so smooth and soft.. wow. Might have to make this chick our official site icon. Can anyone think of a tighter chick in this or any other game?