Archive for May, 2007

Reunited and it feels so good: Real World Vegas

May 31, 2007

Finally something new from the Real World series, this Reunited: Real World Vegas is certain to entertain. Needless to say I’ll be watching with Tivo fully locked in. One thing I didn’t like was the appearance of Irulan who was just fantabulous on the original RW Vegas show…

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She looks, well, I don’t know, she just doesn’t have that extra bounce (and this just in, something aint right with that hairline either, sad but true). I mean, pretty girl no doubt, but she isn’t giving me that super hot “buy U a drank” feel like last time. I mean last time the babe was just a paragon of tightness… this time, not so much. Age has matured her, but we want the young Irulan…The one that was soft and fresh with that youthful glow….

You know the one who was begging Alton for arse with her (white) boyfriend in back in NY. The one Alton then proceeded to smash on National TV, thereby setting us white boys back at least two years by fulfilling the proverbial “he aint hittin that right” mantra many black cats espouse when they see a fine sistah with a standard issue Cajun like myself. Dammit.. Irulan.. You represented so much..

And by the way, isn’t that the biggest nightmare ANY dude can ever have? Well Irulan’s man lived it. He’s got a hot babe who is clearly better looking than he is. Clearly he’s reached waaaay up high, somehow tricking this bad chick into thinking he’s good enough for her and then, yep, she gets on National TV, gets exposed to more fun, better looking dudes, and a black cat who has 2% body fat and third leg that would make Tommy Lee run away.. And then that cat starts f^cking his girl, well on a super popular tv show that goes down in history as one of the best ever….. UGLY!!!!

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Miss USA takes a tumble…still fine.

May 29, 2007

Yo, this isn’t really newsworthy, but nothing motivates our staff like some attractive chicks. And this fall by our very own Miss USA, Rachel Smith, is no exception. Peep it.

I’m not sure what’s more hilarious — the fall itself or that smooth recovery super smile with that Sean da Paul, “Give it Up to Me” crankin’ in the background. Pretty good stuff. And yes, the babe is indeed fine. Sean says it best, “Gib-id uuuuhp do meeee” and “be maah fawn-ta-seeee” — for sho….

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Is it just me or does this babe have a lil extra Soul Glo on her.. Sun kissed, something. And no, this picture was NOT airbrushed.. wow.

Style and grace, a stark contrast to white horse rider extraordinaire, Lindsay Lo-han. Get it together babe.. evelohan4.jpg

Reade Seligmann to World: “This is why I’m hot…”

May 28, 2007

One of the most interesting figures in that debacle that was the Duke Lax saga was our main man (Ali G finger snap) Reade Seligmann.

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Look, honestly, of all characters involved we kinda acknowledge that Reade got a bad deal.

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Dude was on his celly with his lady and at an ATM at the time the skripper claimed she was sexually assaulted. Unlike Colin Finnerty, who we know assaulted some gay cat in DC (oh he was CONVICTED too) and Dave Evans, the genius who allowed the party to go on to begin with who probably should have been suspended for event itself, Reade seems like he really just got caught out there in the okie doke. With that said, if you listen to the media and Reade himself, you’d think he was some kind of POW or maybe a member of FDNY after 9/11. I mean, this cat is made for tv and his rhetoric is resturant quality.. No question he’s got a future in politics, especially with all that money he’s got in his pocket now (we’ll leave that alone)….

But anyway, we just got word across the AP news-wire from our exclusive inside sources that Reade will be attending Brown University next year, ostensibly to get his degree and play a little Lax.

In his statement he said:

I appreciate the support and loyalty of my teammates and coaches at Duke….I will miss them. I know that they will understand why I cannot return to Duke. I have been proud to be a part of their team, and I am grateful for the support they have given to me over the past year.

Understand why you can’t return to Duke? I think Lil Wayne said it best, “Big stacks, my pockets are on Creatine.” Dude, there is no evidence to suggest that you are not a good guy who got caught up with some ignorant, idiot friends, a crazed skripper and a wild and inappropriate prosecutor but let’s stop with all the high and mighty rhetoric, ok? Net -net, you got over and you know what I mean.

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I hope you do well at Brown and beyond. In fact, I know you’ll do well. You just became the poster boy for the wrongfully accused and abused trust fund baby. I suspect those who come from where you come from, look like you, talk like you and live like you, will be looking out for your best interests for the balance of your young life.

One word of advice, stay clean. Folks are watching…

PS- And this is an afterthought, Duke Lax caught that loss piece to Hopkins this weekend. So much for a Rudy/Hoosiers ending. That really F’d up the screenplay for that up and coming movie you know at least 12 writers are working on. Maybe I can play Mike Nifong? Nah, too pretty….

Quincy Jones is the epitome of cool.

May 28, 2007

Has there ever been a cooler, smoother cat than Quincy Jones?

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I mean, this cat was pimpin’ h*oes in France back when Ray Charles was playing Jim Crow (yes I got that chronology direct-it-tally from the movie, sue me). Just look at his daughters. All fine. The dude is no joke and now we get word that he’s dating a teenage Arab chick. And newsflash, she’s fine. This cat holds so many chicks in his pockets like nickles and dimes. Love it. Play on player….. something to aspire to, minus of course that funky gang sign he’s throwing up.. Must be the international pimp sign..

Moni Love goes too far. Another W flunky

May 23, 2007

Hey, usually I keeps my thoughts with my paper and the ladies, but I just had to post on this topic. Today on Capitol Hill, Monica Goodling, a former United States government lawyer and political appointee in the administration of Dubyah had to testify (Eeeeeeye wanna testifyyyy).

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(She sure does have some purrty hair…can’t lie)

Chick was the Director of Public Affairs for the United States Department of Justice, serving under Attorneys General John Ashcroft and Alberto Gonzales. This idiot juuust got out of law school, a trash one at that, in 1999 and now she’s interviewing top level officials in the Department of Justice?!?! I feel safe.

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Religious Zealot nitwits protecting my fundamental rights… wonderful.

Ole girl asked wild questions of seasoned attorneys like, “have you ever cheated on your wife?” and “who is your favorite President or Supreme Court Justice?” Beeey-err CHICK, you went to Messiah College and Regent University Law School, two faux schools built off the thievery of televangelists like Falwell and Pat Robertson. You are the last person to be asking ANYONE….ANYTHING about their qualifications other than who’s gonna drop those Freedom Fries into the grease at the Messiah University cafeteria!!!

Siddown, shut-up and take your candy a$s back to whatever backwoods, in-breed community you hail from. Today during her testimony she said:

“Nevertheless, I do acknowledge that I may have gone too far in asking political questions of applicants for career positions. And I may have taken inappropriate considerations into account on some occasions.”

Yeah, ya think? Unless you’re asking this question “paper or plastic” I don’t want to hear anything from you. Now see, I was just giving it up to my thick white women the other day and here you go embarrassing our race.

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And though from this picture you may actually have some Thick YT credentials/may in fact be descended from the tribe of Thickney Spears, et al., I still ask you……Put that Cup O Jesus juice down and Please go away(and have a blesseded day of course!)

Get her Bill!

-Lakey the Don

Oh Hail Naw!

May 23, 2007

I’m not that rock n’ roll dude. I leave that to my man Lake, but I….errrrr…my lady was watching American Idol last night and I saw last seasons favorite (and best seller) Chris Daughtry hit the stage. I mean this man almost (but not quite) made me buy a rock CD and listen to some good old fashioned geee-tar. I expected this:

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Reasonable cat, right? Semi-forced baldy (when you have to shave your head because the hair is leaving anyway), kept tight with his musical style, and should have beat this clown. But last night, I get this…

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Is that eye shadow with eye liner? Is this cat dead inside? Did he sell his soul to go triple platinum? I mean damn homey…Last year you was the man homey…What the F*ck happened to you?

-Brock

West Siiiieeede?

May 23, 2007

The NBA Draft Lottery occurred tonight with one of the biggest thuds you’ll ever hear or see. Pick #1 goes to Portland(whooopeee!!!), while Pick #2 goes to Seattle? We didn’t get it and neither did either of these cats who upon hearing the news had these facial expressions respectively:

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Pan Oden and Kevin Durant must be wondering whether they made the right decisions to come out.

Where would you rather be? In Columbus Ohio getting paid by those corrupt Ohio State boosters with all the sponsored tail a guy could want?

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Case in point.

Or in Portland — land of the Chronic, sheep, timber and just about the most cultured and cosmopolitan white folks you’ll ever find?

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Edge, Columbus. Better toes, more hizzoes and far more notoriety. Playing in Portland is like being shipped off to Siberia. Sure you’re getting paid, but Greg was already getting paid in Columbus! Come on, you know he was….

And things are no better (ok, they are a littlebetter) for Kevin Durant who’ll undoubtedly end up in Seattle… Hey Kev, not sure what you’re into, but newsflash there are Noooooo brothers in Seattle and worst yet, noooo sisters. Tough break bro. You’re probably too young but I watched Real World Seattle so I’m like an expert. The place is a debacle for a brother. Stephen, the Real Worlder who got that limp wrist-ed slapperin on that white chick; heard he looked and acted like BA Baracus before going to Seattle.

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Next thing we know, dude is stealing vehicles and selling arse in the filthy LA streets. It’s not a good look for you. Beware playa..

And yes, the sound you just heard is some Beantown cat jumping off that Mass Ave. bridge to certain life long injury (the good Lawd won’t even allow him death). Yep, the Celtics somehow managed to mess this thing up. They’re picking 5th, just in time to grab a Can Miss type player. Awful.

Thick Britney on her way back!

May 22, 2007

Look, a lot of cats out there have been taking shots at Brit.. Well, we, here at Us v. Them, we just won’t take it lying down. Britney is a trailblazer like no other. To us, she’s like Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks, Coretta Scott King, Stokely Carmichael, I mean, she’s really made a difference in the lives of millions. Yes, Brit paved the way like no other. Indeed, she was the first public, thick Whiiiiite woman and she ushered in the Era of Thick White Women. As proud Caucasian Americans ourselves we’d like to salute her. This picture taken late last week finally is showing us signs of a comeBACK.. so good.

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Dayum, more thigh than KFC. Brit brought that sexy back before Coco, Electra and Biel:

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Love ya Brit.. Ladies, proof positive that if you build it, they will come.

Toss up: Who’s uglier, Oden or the Faun from Pan’s Labyrinth?

May 22, 2007

Come on ladies, not even the millions…and millions of $$$ can justify this grill piece

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“Got something for your face, f*ck Pro-activ..” Dude, I think Greg Oden took that lovely Cam’ron line a little too literally. This cat looks like half mang, half tree trunk.. And the dude said he wanted to be a dentist? Goodness… Thank God for the NBA.. This aint the kind of brother you want walking around the streets out of work. You can see below the boy aint got no fashion sense. Forget an upgrade, he needs him a silky headed ho inspired makeover… Extreme Makeover at that. Yikes.

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And watch the extra lean there Gregory.. We wouldn’t mind seeing you with a silky headed, but please, make it a woman. You’re too big to be violating Rule No. 1.

Idol

May 21, 2007

Melinda, you were solid the whole time, why did you get kicked out?

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Yeah, I don’t know either….did you ask Ryan?

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Still shrugging those shoulders, you don’t know anything do you?

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Fine…I tried, you just gonna keep shrugging me off huh? There was only one reason I watched this season anyway….hoping that Sanjaya’s sister, Shyamali Malakar would make an appearance. Hooters indeed…

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And as an added bonus for the fellas…