Archive for the ‘Mike Tyson’ Category

Awwww Mike, why?

May 21, 2008

Man, I grew up just knowing that Mike Tyson was the baddest man to ever live.  As such, it’s just hard seeing my man looking like this.

Aww dammit Mike!!  Sugar Free Red Bull homey, SUGAR FREE.  Dude, Mike is a mere mortal now, it completely sucks.  And quietly, though this pic is tragic, that little sheen on my man’s shirt does scream “SUCCESS.”  Now that I think about it, Mike must be doing alright.  After all, he’s still in VIP, he’s still got a lady on his arm and she’s not terrible… not yet anyway.  And while that bright orange “18 and up” wrist band does concern me, I can take solace in knowing that, more likely than not, Mike blazed this babe that night.  Go head Mike.  Do you!

– Lake

He used to be the baddest man on the planet

February 18, 2008

Now look at him.

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Mike Tyson coming out with a bitch bag at the irregulars errr discount suit spot? Say it aint so.

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Getting rolled up on by substandard post-cougar mamis errrr mommies?

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The look on the white cat’s face pretty much says it all, in fact, I think that’s my cousin Drake (sure his gear and hair are horrible, but he’s a director, it’s part of his earthy shtick), giving him our patented Arlington family gas face. The truth is and I hate to say this because I’m a big Mike Tyson fan, but Mike aint been shit since I whooped his ass in Punch Out.

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Horrible.

– Lake

Mike Tyson: Crazy Throughout the Years…

September 28, 2007

You know Mike Tyson is one of my personal favorite dudes.  He was a killer in his prime and I still think Tyson – Holyfield right before Tyson went to jail would have been one of the greatest fights of all time.  In honor of him being one the verge of going back to jail, this time as a perfectly-round, superheavyweight, we need to look back at his body of work. 

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(and as you can see, his body of work has gotten…uh, bigger over time)

Yeah, he’s unstable, abusive, crazy, and probably drugged at all times other than two weeks before and about 10 minutes after any of his fights.  This body of work for sheer craziness is great.  He really works himself up like Kellen Winslow in the famous “All Praise to Allah!” Rant.

Wow.  That “I’m a semi-good husband take is still a classic too.”

I’ll tell you who else I miss, a true showman, with knockout power at Featherweight.  Prince Naseem Hamed.  If you ever saw this cat talk with Larry Merchant after a fight, you know that those may be some of the best moments ever on HBO.  I it em, Larray.  An ee went down like timbaaaaaah.

The way he stops the entourage to shake it out at about 40 seconds is classic.

-Brock

Lay off the Ho-Ho’s

July 23, 2007

As you can see from the banner up top, my man Lake and I were brought up in the era of classic Mike Tyson.  Back when he would knock a cat out in 90 seconds, when he could get off four or five punches in a second, back when you had to read that blink and twitch with precision in Punch-out! or Little Mac’s ass was on the canvas.  So we still pay homage to the man himself in the most ironic picture ever.  Killer Mike with the tattooed face, yukking it up with a fresh Half-Caf, Soy, no foam, grande, extra-biyaaach, double sweet Caramel Macchiato.  Does it get worse?  Well, the regular readers of Us Verses Them know I wouldn’t be talking about it if it didn’t….Hell Yeah it gets worse.

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Got damn Mike!  How many of those coffee drinks did you have?  When was the last time you were in a gym?  I mean that sexy-man smedium shirt you have on isn’t doing you any favors with those young ass sleeves.  Your Gucci shoes look like you’ve been playing outside all day like you are 12 years old, scuff marks and everything.  Then the jeans.  Have you been shopping with ARod at the Turrible Gear section of the mall again?  On the strength of this pic alone, you are a first ballot inductee in the Turrible Gear Hall of Fame.

UvT readers…remember, fit is everything.  Iron Mike has it so bad, I really can’t tell if his gear is too loose or too tight.  Everything he has on is both at the same time, and he is on the red carpet!  Can’t take it.

 By the way, when I say lay off the Ho-Ho’s I mean the food, not the ladies.  You know the boys over here would never support that.  In fact, I’ll put you on the UvT workout plan.

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Take two of these, and the pounds will melt right off.

-Brock