Archive for the ‘Usher’ Category

Usher and Big Mama Splitsville?

May 22, 2008

I guess when homey said he wanted to make love in that club, he wasn’t bullshittin. Reports claim that Usher Raymond and his crazy/terrible wife, Tamkea “soon not to be” Raymond, have filed for separation.

No kidding. I see young Ursh finally figured out what we’ve all been seeing ever since he sported the babe in public: 1. YOU’RE USHER!!!!!!!!!!! and 2. She’s AWFUL!!!!

With attitude to boot? Hells no! Look chick, it’s time for Usher to go out on tour, so you know what that means…dats rye, you best start reading the fine print on that prenup!!! Homey got married in his lawyer’s office, so you know he’s got that taken care of.  Jeez. More later…

– Lake

New Usher – Love in this Club feat. Jeezy

February 11, 2008

I’d love to tell you that I hate the song and honestly, I’m not sure I like it yet, but given Usher’s track record, this joint will probably be a hit by mid February.

I can’t lie, that track is smooth and a much better title than the song idea my boy (no names) drunkenly spat in my ear the other night when we were out:

“I’mma fuck in the bathroom stall.”

It’s like a laid back Manny Fresh beat with a clean finish. As for the content, after marrying that old woman, I’m quite sure Usher does want to make love in a club. I mean, he’s Usher and can probably have any chick he wants, but instead he’s slump busting with this broad ’til prenup errrr death do they part.


I mean, I’ve heard the expression why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, but this cat just bought the cow. No milk. Not free. Why oh why did he ever marry that chick? Marry her!!!? He shouldn’t even be talking to a babe like that much less marrying one.


Goodness gracious. I just hope he’s got that prenup extra tight because there is no way in hell that relationship is going to last. Impossible. I need Brock to go ahead and handicap that for me. 18 months? 24? Can’t be any more than that, can it?
– Lake

Supporting the Stereotype: Brawling in a Wisconsin K-Mart

November 29, 2007

Oh this is nice. Apparently KMart was giving away a free $10 gift certificate to anyone who got approved for a KMart credit card on Black Friday. Well, their computers glitched and was giving everyone who applied a $4000 credit limit instantly. In Wisconsin this passes for “free money” and people jumped on the phones to let everyone know. Before you knew it, housewives were scrapping out front and jumping over cash registers to get their shot at the “free” cash.


I guess a riot broke out.

A few things. First of all, anyone who thinks a credit card is “free” money need to check their credit report. See that number in the 500’s over there? That means a few things. It means that you get killed for having KMart Cards, Sears Cards, Best Buy Mastercards, Gap cards all that bullshit. It means that I pay the same amount to lease my Mercedes Benz GL 450 that you pay for your Honda Civic. It means that if you want to buy a house like mine I pay 15% less than you would.


Oh yeah, and the big thing? They are going to want that money back. If you don’t pay it back in the first month…and let me got out on a limb here…people who get on the horn to tell people that KMart is giving out free money as $4,000 credit cards probably aren’t great candidates for paying all of that off come January 1, you will probably get hit with that good 18-25% interest rate. Turning that $4,000 into $10,000 quicker than you think.

Is Kmart even still a legitimate store? Let’s look at the landscape here. Target is the upscale store, Wal-Mart is the store with the best prices…that leaves K-Mart as the big room of cheap shit store. Blue Light specials? What the hell is that? I know people don’t like it when you stereotype their state. But honestly, do you think this same thing happens in a major metropolitan area? A riot over K-Mart cards? Hell no.

How about this as a consolation prize. Your hoops squad just got drug by Duke on National TV. How did you like that?


Usher Has a Boy

November 28, 2007


Usher just had a baby in the ATL.  Little Usher Raymond V.  (Is Usher a IV?  Who knew?)  I guess this cat is locked in now.  Married in September, kid in November.  That’s hardly ever cool.  I hope Usher has a prenup, but with that kid it almost doesn’t matter now.  Like Kanye said, 18 years, 18 years, and on the 18th birthday found out it wasn’t his?

This dude was messing with fine ass Chilli before he sold 10 million albums.  All it reminds me of is the fact that Chilli was sexy as hell in that red light special video. I’ma get my flashback on right quick.

Damn Chilli. What the hell was Usher thinking? When you are the best selling R&B star since MJ, you’re supposed to re-up. Not re-down. Seriously, he traded Chilli for this babe?


I know some cats base their wife on their momma, but that doesn’t mean that she should really look like your momma. Like born the same year as your momma. And he gave up this:


Man, that stomach has always been tight.

Hell let’s do it like the Black Sheep. You can get with this:


Or you can get with that:


Damn, that terrible ass pic messed up my moment.  I don’t care what they tell you they are going to do in retouching, you can’t play yourself like that.

So whats up with this kid?  Hopefully he doesn’t have the conehead like his pops.



What’s the over under on Usher and Tameka?  Three years? How long before the chick that shoots crazy ass looks like this goes fully crazy?


I’m thinking long about halfway through Usher’s next European tour.


Us Versus Them Public Service Announcement: No More Man-on-Man R&B Duets

July 26, 2007

This is a topic that has been bothering me for quite some time. The Man on Man action between these R&B stars. I mean, what makes Usher and R. Kelly think they can get away with this sh*t? R&B is already teetering on the fringe of utter bitchiness as is, so why double the trouble with a song with two men on it? Furthermore, if you poll most R&B fans, they already figure that all yall are either A. gay or B. freaky enough to do some gay sh*t, so why jump on a song with another suspect man.


We let the Rapper/R&B singer duet slide (sometimes that gets carried away too), but unless you’re in a group, I don’t want to hear call and response from two homo-thugs with lip gloss in their hair and texturizer on their lips (and no that was not a dyslexic moment, I meant it how I wrote it)

“Same girl, same girl…. I met her in Atlantaaaaaaa, I met her in Chicagooooooo” (aRa and Usher making me uncomfortable on)

F*cking horrible. And that goes for all Akon/T-Pain songs and that god awful “Umbrella” Remix by Rihanna with Chris Brown, too (which I know is different, but I don’t care, same category). Again, I like the song, well, the original version (though I still say Rihanna can’t dance), and I enjoy Chris Brown generally, but I don’t need to hear you singing in the same key as a young nubile woman.. just a-skretchin, and a-stretchin for them high notes in that upper register… “Come into meeeeeeeeee” Listen to that sh*t, it’s just awful!

And now that I think about it Usher is a 2 time offender! After reading this clairvoyant post, a loyal UvT reader in NYC reminded me of that Ice Box (remix) Usher did with Omarion.. TERRIBLE!!!!

No no no, and like Puff, I don’t want NO INTERJECTIONS! The shit just isn’t acceptable. It’s bad enough we have to put up with boy bands as is, but this stuff just has to stop. Here is a list of cats who absolutely cannot sing on the same track:

Chris Brown, Craig David, Brian McKnight, All of Dru Hill and their known associates, R. Kelly, Usher, Ne-yo, Lloyd, Justin Timberlake, Bobby Valentino, Mario, Omarion, T-Pain (especially not T-Pain’s fruity arse), Akon, the Rza, the Gza, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, Raekwon the Chef, U-God, Ghost Face Killer and the Method.

Nan one of yall can do a duet with any other person on the list, that is, unless Jacko gets a “We Are the World- USA for Africa Part Duex” with half the “artists” rapping their parts. I won’t even allow another Black Men United “You will know”.

(yeah boy, that’s diggin in some crates) and I don’t care what the cause is, because if I’m not mistaken, that was a Tevin Campbell brainchild and we haven’t heard from that fool since he got caught messin with that MALE prostitute. Cats have officially lost their duet and philanthropic privileges. That’s it. And that’s the bottom line cuz Lake said so!

– Lizzake the all powerful