Archive for the ‘I Love New York 2’ Category

Jennifer Hudson Gets Punk’d?

September 15, 2008

This story is just too weird.  Haaavard Law Grad, Tiffany “New York” Pollard reject and former UvT punching bag David “Punk” Otunga allegedly got engaged to Jennifer Hudson yesterday.

Dude, this is just too weird.  LOL.  I mean, Punk?  First of all, dude’s name is Punk.  Second, he went on I LOVE NEW YORK.  Didn’t that raise somewhat of a red flag for Ms. Hudson?  Hey Huddy, you may want to check in with Star Jones and Terry McMillan before you’re out here getting your groove back with a cat who uses more hair product than you.

And then there’s Punk.  How does a cat go from talking to zero black cats at HLS, to going onto I Love New York (which according to you was to promote your Hollywood carer errrr show positive images of black men in the media) to marry certified real deal sister Jennifer Hudson?

I already know the answer which is YES, but I still have to ask:  Is this cat serious? Ha, what a cornball.  LOL.  JHud, when it all goes wrong, don’t say Lake didn’t warn ya.  And just so we’re clear, you should be looking for a cornball dude, especially when you’re in entertainment.  But you’ve got things a bit mixed up.  When looking for the proper corn, you want something that looks more like this:

And run away from a dude who would ever pose like this:

I know, I know, he’s Abs-solutely fit.  Sure, but you have to understand the mentality of a black cat who spikes his hair, rolls around shirtless or dares put himself in a frosted pic.  Believe me, it aint right and somehow the fact that he went to HLS makes it that much worse.

– Lake

VH1’s I Love Money, Season Premiere

July 10, 2008

Here we go again… From the makers of Flavors of Love 1, 2 and 3, I Love New York 1 and 2, Charm School (clearly we only needed one of those), Rock of Love 1 and 2 (the only show in the bunch I didn’t watch) and A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila 1 and 2 we now have I Love Money.

Look, we all know the deal with these shows. It’s a bunch of Hollywood rejects willing to subject themselves to almost any level of humiliation for a chance at some face time and hopefully their own show. so that they can ultimately get spit out the bottom of the porn industry

errrr flip their newfound success into real showbiz careers.

And we all know that aint gonna happen. So what did they do? Of course, they just kept it real and copied those completely played and similarly sad, though less comical, Real World/Road Rules spin-offs.. You know the Gauntlet, Crucible, Inferno (whatever, though quietly, that new Real World/Road Rules Survivor rip off looks like it has potential) and made the show strictly about money.

Fair enough. So then it’s just a matter of who was on the show. Well you know it wouldn’t be a show without some eye candy. So they brought in Hoopz, which I respect.

And please peep those Hoopz NSFW HERE at your leisure.

And that chick from Beauty and the Geek/Rock of Love Fame:

Don’t know her name and clearly I don’t care. But I’d be lying if I told you she didn’t have that white girl thunder. Incidentally, here are her NSFW (I’m seeing a trend here) Playboy shots. Actually, this chick’s body is what only Brooke Hogan can see when she looks at herself in the mirror. The rest of us see a version of this:

Ha… I know, I know, I just talked Jim Carrey the ‘nother day. Keeping it simple. Sadly, that’s the only real eye candy on the show. And even the skanks lost their limited skank appeal. Sheeeeit, Pumkin looks like she done set out to actually become her namesake.

I mean, homegirl is plump. Anyway, at least they came back with the Stallionaires…which is still one of the worst and best rap group names in all of history. Haaa.

Oh yeah, Chance and Real are back and yes, their album is still “about to come out.”

“Yuckmouth, cuz he don’t brush..” Then you had the usual suspects. Mr. Boston’s unfunny ass. Whiteboy, who should get an Emmy for that ridiculous “based on an untrue story” role he’s playing as a down ass white dude. I know, I know.. ha

Anyway, after that you’ve got an assortment of douchebags (and please don’t take that characterization lightly, I RARELY use that term, but it’s oh so true for this show), trashy hoes and general misfits like that broke ass Bushwick Bill lookin cat Midget Mack, who incidentally got checked the fuck off the show the first night.

Nice. I spoke to Brock about Episode 1 and all in all, it left us a bit underwhelmed. But it’s got potential. I’m just waiting for 12 Pack and his little sidekick there 5 Pack aka Heat (lol) to get up on some gay shit so that we can really set the party off.

I’m also looking for that damn Nibblz to bang some dude out, seeing as she’s a full-time dominatrix (her exact words) and all. Dominatrix? Don’t you mean ho? Oh yes, I’ll be glued to my tv, a least for one more episode.

Oh and it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t mention all those folks that are missing from the cast. First off, where’s Buckeey.

You gotta have her, especially after that great sex tape I never saw. Also, where is that Gentleman Punk? I thought he was busy trying to show positive images on gutter reality tv….

One spiked strand of moused out hair at a time.

And why couldn’t we get some Buddah back on set. We definitely needed some more of his antics.

Maybe he would have whooped some more ass, something I always appreciate. Oh well, I guess you can’t have it all. Hell, maybe some of these fools actually got their lives together and have moved on to better things….nah. ha

Stallionaires baby…book it.

– Lake

Disgrace: Harvard Law Grad ‘stars’ on I Love NY 2

October 18, 2007

UPDATE: PUNK Gets Engaged To Jennifer Hudson?  CHECK OUT the story HERE.

LOL… Dude, I can’t tell what’s more disgraceful, the fact that this fool David “Punk” Otunga has chosen to place himself among the ranks of random freaks, crack heads and scalawags on I Love New York 2 (which all by itself is INSANE) or this cat’s general appearance (starting with that absurd hairpiece he’s rocking atop his roided out body)!

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Dude, are you fucking serious? I mean, is this cat truly serious? Not only has this cat set his people (whoever they are) back about 163 years, but he’s basically single-handily shated on higher education, pissed on the law, and completely invalidated each and every single academic degree ever conferred upon any person from Harvard University (and yes that does include the school of Education…lol). I mean, I thought Ted Kaczyski was a muthafucka and Harvard’s worst nightmare, but when you put that fool next to a dude named “Punk” from I Love New York 2, suddenly the Unabomber doesn’t look all that bad.

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He’s actually kinda pimpin in those stunna shades and that tight hoody. Who knew, maybe he’s a smooth dude–

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Uh, no, no… this fool looks about as wild as he was crazy. A true blemish on the Real HU’s record. I mean this cat is looking like Wolverine’s bullshit drunk uncle with some rusted claws and zero rejuvenating powers.

But yes, I submit to you that what David Punk is doing is definitely worse than what this broke ass Wolverine ever did. I mean, look at the company this fool is keeping. Did you ever catch Kaczynski kicking it with Midget Mac?

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And look at New York herself, looking like a broke ass pornographic muppet.. Mang, why am I watching this show?

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I don’t know. I guess it is entertaining in that train wreck kind of way. They just need to go ahead and bring Chance back though, because these cats just don’t have enough charisma to keep the show going.

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Least of all this cat..

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(Is this cat serious? I haven’t seen that look since Daryl from Soul Glo flashed it right after he applied activator to his mustache)

What a super clown to end all clowns. I mean, let’s just say this cat legitimately wants to get into acting, this is how you break into the biz? As some side show for a chick that was Flavor Flav’s third ho? That’s how you break into the biz, huh? Like in 10 years someone will be reading off your profile at the Oscars saying, “he got his start on I Love NY 2 as one of the many man-hoes who didn’t get picked for love”…..Haaa, I can’t say it and since his race is unconfirmed, I’ll just do it my way, non-NILLA PLEEZ!! Seek help.

Terrible

– Lake