Archive for the ‘LeBron James’ Category

Look At That Girl With The Daisy Dukes On

April 3, 2008

Ahh, the Daisy Duke. Just when you think a product can’t get any better, Gisele introduces the assless Daisy Dukes and takes the game to a whole new level.

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Why didn’t someone think of that before. I mean, even with reduced ass, the assless variety of Dukes is so much superior to the original. Look at recently eliminated Prancer from Flavor of Love 3 for instance.

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Impressive yes, but it’s clearly inferior compared to angle two on Gizzy.

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Ok, that wasn’t such a hot shot, but I thought it was important to show that Gisele is so big that she’s got an ass wiper on set. I mean, how do you get that job? Who decides that there isn’t enough Coco Butter on the upper tailpiece? But on the real, stop playing and gimme that crystal clear shot of dem Dukes though.

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Anyway, I also wonder how they get those ripped up Dukes and just know they’ll be right for Gizzy in this shot. What, is there some cat out there who just fashionably rips the clothes half off supermodels?

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Awwww, my bad. I know that’s fucked up, but LeBron brought that shit on himself. Doesn’t this cat have a publicist that’s supposed to let him know how much he’s playing himself with a picture like this? I know, I know, it’s all of us who see this picture in a suspect way that have the problem, not ‘Bron. Sure. But did you ever see Jordan doing some mess like this? Hell naw. You don’t even see Tom Brady getting his beauty and the beast on and he’s smashing with regularity.

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Tough.

– Lake

“USA-USA-USA” – USA Basketball back on top?

August 29, 2007

Kobe, LeBron, Melo, Dwight, this is why they’re hot.

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Listen, I know it’s relatively inferior competition, but you just have to love what the USA is showing us at the FIBA Americas Championship tournament in Las Vegas. Just like last summer, Carmelo is showing us why he’s one of the most complete players in the whole world.

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Homey is simply unstoppable, point blank. I mean, if you try to man him up with pressure D, he can put it on the floor and slash to the rim. If you try to lay off him, he’ll J you with that killer jumper. If you try to body him, he’s got that killer baseline turnaround game and when he’s really on his game, he’s a highly proficient rebounder, garbage bucket guy. He’s truly the perfect weapon. The only thing about him I don’t like is his seemingly mental midget status with that “stop snitchin” foolishness and of course, his random choice in lady.. La La.. don’t get me wrong, La La is cool..just too old for a cat who has no business being married before he’s 38. At any rate, Melo.. we here at UvT sports salute you.

LeBron has been LeBron, he’s dominating. He’s ubiquitous. He just muscles cats with that overly physical brand of play.

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I mean, he really is that King James cat. The crazy thing about LeBron is how much better he could be. His jumper is anything but consistent, he rarely uses his left hand and his D leaves plenty to be desired. Still, you gotta love what LeBron has done for Team USA.

Finally, the man who has made it all come together is Kobe. I mean, what can you say about Kobe Bryant that hasn’t already been said about . It’s just the best of the best.

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He brings crazy talent, work ethic, a jumper, killer D, swagger, attitude, I mean, dude is the best player in the world and it shows out there. Kobe just has that next gear that other cats don’t have. Honestly, I don’t see a need for Dwayne Wade when you have a Kobe out there who can score, pass it, and defend them. He threw a hot alley op to LeBron James in the first half of the Puerto Rico game. Unbelievable.

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Look, Dream Team these guys are not… and the international quality of play has increased exponentially. But I can honestly say with this team, USA has a good a chance as ever and should be a prohibitive favorite to bring home that Gold Medal in Beijing. Nice work fellas… Good lookin Coach K.

All Hail the King!!!

June 1, 2007

LeBron: It’s me b*tches!!!! (Cue the music)

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Is there anything that ever lives up to all the hype? Yes, King James. LeBron is an absolute freak of nature, a non human. Dude is amazing and last night he finally earned that King moniker.. Wow. He single handily beat the Pistons as he poured in 48 points and withstood two overtimes against the defensive minded Deeee-troit Basketbaaaall.

There isn’t much to say, but someone needs to study this cat’s DNA because he just can’t be like the rest of us. He really is King. And being King does have its privileges.

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Even being the man, next to the man, next to LeBron is basking in the Royal treatment.