Bush is an International Playa

Is George Bush every going to leave the Olympics?  I know he’s basically a lame duck going into the November elections, but didn’t Russia just invade Georgia this week?  Even Condi Rice came off of vacay to try to help out.  Is anyone still putting $4 gas into their car?  Is he just hanging out with the people who lent us all the money to fund our war?  Anyway, Bush is still kicking it at the Olympics which means…more photo ops.  This guy is priceless.

First up.  Everyone is pissed that Oliver Stone’s new movie portray’s Bush as a wild frat boy.  He really does not deserve that reputation.

Way to throw em up George.  You’re like a rock and roll Uncle Sam.  Nice belt with the metal tips too.

I call this the “Holla at cha boy” picture.  Ol Gee Dub either is looking for a hug, or just scored a touchdown. By the way, this shot of Misty May just gave her 2 extra points in the Assology log.  She might end up as official UvT quality yet.  Her crease work is skrong.

Here’s the second pic in the “holla” series.  This one is more up close and personal.  He’s like “you know I’m a cowboy, Right?  Frum Texyus and ev-verythang.  I’d ride you like a little buckin’ bronco young lady.

Finally, I call this the “my Dad is an idiot” picture.

I don’t know what Dubya is doing, but it is clear Barbara is not feeling it.  She looks like she would rather be drinking with Jenna than sitting in the Olympics.

-Brock

This is Why Bush Got Re-Elected

America is the greatest country on earth, right? Yeah, this is your country…

Honestly, is there anyone on that show America’s Got Talent who actually has any talent? My dog has more talent than that entire judging panel and those guests. Just terrible dude.

– Lake

Jenna Bush Tied that Knot

I know I’m crazy late but I would be completely remiss if I didn’t comment on Jenna Bush’s wedding (shouts to Will) over the weekend. Now I can’t lie, typically my reaction to those aesthetically unappealing Bush babes looks something like this:

Though I do find that look in Babs’ eye somewhat appealing in this pic. But even I must say, after that wedding day diet plan, Jenna looked her best on Saturday.

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So lovely. And look, she even took a picture in front of the tree her ancestors hung their naughty slaves from. How quaint. I don’t know, just seeing my little Jenna like this almost brings a tear to my eye. I remember her back in such a more simpler time.

Nah, I’m not talking about that. I’m was thinking of this:

“Babs, I think I just pissed myself, again….Haaaaa”

Ah yes, All American gals. It kind of makes you wonder, what with those TWO CRIMINAL MISDEMEANORS Jenna has on her record and all, whether she didn’t get caught snorting cocaine just like her dad back in the day.

Oh well. We’ll put that all behind us, right? I mean, how bad can a coke head President be for the country anyhow? Anyway, none of that matters now because we can all take heart in the fact that Jenna and Henry Hagar love each other for all the right reasons.

I’ll give them 9 years (and two kids) until it goes bad. After all, you’ve got to keep up appearances.

– Lake

The Hispanic Vote: Not Republican Anymore, Huh?

Oh I love it. Back in 2004 I always wondered why Hispanics voted for Republicans.

Viva Bush, remember? Hispanics were supposed to be voting the conservative party line because of their strong “family values” and strong Catholic faith. So here we are in 2008 and I haven’t seen one political discussion that even remotely discusses the “Hispanic Vote” as it pertains to Republicans.

Hillary is strong with Hispanics here, Barack has support there…McCain? Nothing. I wonder why that is?

Ooooohhhhhh, right. Bush wanted to build a wall between the US and Mexico and said “make sure you find your ass on the other side of it” when we get done building.

Yeah, that was messed up wasn’t it? Too bad that didn’t come out until his second term. Here’s my thing, why aren’t we building the “Great Wall of Canada” too? No problem with our neighbors to the North, eh? Isn’t it obvious that the brown people of the world are always going to catch the short end of the stick here in America? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to go out like Jeramiah Wright on this one, but everything is just a little bit harder for us. Well, whatever it took mi hombres, glad to have you on the squad. It is about time you saw the light. I know you are still Hillary supporters…can’t come all the way over to the right side all at once, but we’ll take you anyway.

Now if we could just convince poor white people that Republicans aren’t looking out for them we’d be heading in the right direction.

-Brock

Old Man McCain Gets The GOP Nomination

Well, well, well.. I guess in the interest of being fair and balanced (as if that exists anywhere) we should post on John McCain’s big win tonight. The very young John Mac went ahead and finally got that 1,191 delegate count needed to secure the Republican nomination.

And then Mike Huckabee conceded. Damn. I’m going to miss ole Huck. You know, with all his “we need to change the US Constitution to fit God’s law” and all those hunting and fishing photo ops. I kinda like the old coot. Who knows, maybe we’ll get him for a VP running mate.

Then we’ll really be able to get this thing poppin’….

Until then, we’ll see the standard payback by McCain for supporting his boy Dubyah.

I would say that Americans will never fall for Dubyah Bush part 2, but I know better. Hell, these idiot Republicans will tell you Bush has been a great President. What can you do? I’m beginning to believe these differences can only be decided by a civil war where I’m quite sure we’ll beat you suckers……AGAIN!

Yeeeee Hawww!

– Lake

Stupidity Defined: Ralph Nader is running for President…AGAIN

Can some of you Green Party kooks tell me why this idiot Ralph Nader is running for President again?

Does this guy want the Republicans to win that badly? I mean, what, does Nader sit around and think of different ways he can undermine his own stated political objectives?

“I know, why don’t we espouse a set of progressive policies, but instead of joining the side that is more sympathetic to our objectives, we’ll steal votes from them so that the group who couldn’t care less about the environment or anything else we say will win the White House, thus shitting on every single thing we strive for and believe in.”

Hell, that logic sounds eerily similar to George Bush’s plan for the War in Iraq. Maybe it’s true what they say. Maybe Nader really is just a pawn of the Republican party.

Hey, intentional or not, he certainly acts like one. Let me tell you this, if you’re a member of the Green Party who actually votes for the “Green” candidate, then you’re an asshole and an idiot. Hell, your smoldering stupidity is burning a second hole in the Ozone layer. Smarten up! But for you clowns, we never would have had to deal with The Worst President Ever!

And no, I will never forgive these fools for 8 years of “Dubyah” at the helm.

As for Nader himself, he’s completely useless to me. Actually, I’m lying a bit. I can’t lie, I almost joined the Green Party after I watched this hilarious interview he had with Ali G.

LOL.. Nader handled himself admirably there. Ha.. That was good stuff. Oh yes, I’d follow that man all the way to the Green errr White House. ahnt.

– Lake

The Battle for the Beltway

Go Go music (argh), mid calf socks, rioting (oh my bad, that’s gonna happen on Wednesday at UMd after Duke beats the Terps again), do rags, overpriced real estate and plenty of white folks walking dogs and pushing strollers – yep, it must be election day in Murr-lin, Va and DC.

Conventional wisdom says that it will be a big day for Obama and McCain, but I’m not so sure. I’d be willing to bet that Hilly C. can make some noise in Northern Virginia, even if she does get the gas face in Newport Newz, Hampton and Virginia Beach.

At the same time, Barack’s act won’t play well in parts of Maryland where they pretty much see him this way.

He better talk their language. In fact, I heard when he spoke at the University of Maryland at College Park, his security had to dress him like an everyday Terps student just to ensure his safety.

You know those thugs with books are getting all riled up like some domestic insurgeant in preparation for their that imminent ass whoopin Duke is going to lay on their boys come Wednesday.

All in all, it should be a pretty important day, so I’m hopeful. We all pretty much realize that the UvT endorsed candidate, Barack, can’t just edge out Hilly C…. Nah, he’s got to win decisively so these wild “Super delegates” don’t throw salt in the people’s game. Honestly, isn’t it time to shelve these arcane electoral processes? Fine, we get it, when you started this vote you didn’t want some hicks with pitch forks out in the sticks taking over your slaves errr and errr government.

You wanted a buffer to save the people from themselves. But at this point, we really need a voting system that is truly representative. One person, on vote, tally up the votes, peace out. Hell, even the Electoral College needs to go. Just think about it, without that silly system, we would have never had to put up with all of Dubyah’s BS.

Convinced? Yeah, it’s time for reform. We need someone who will get the job done.. Someone who isn’t afraid to go to war and do what’s necessary. Someone who can keep people in line.. Yep, I’m nominating Marlo Stanfield for President with Secretary of Offense, Snoop Pearson, ready to beat back any mufucka who doesn’t stay in their lane.

Come on, he already took control of the entire West Side of Baltimore, Iraq would be a picnic for this cat. “Joe, it won’t hurt none, close your eyes.” Marlo is the best.

– Lake

Grammys aftermath: Airbrushers take the wheel

I know I’m late to this, but this is just too fucking terrible NOT to post, late or not. What happened to our R&B icons?

Intern, unleash her!

Jeez, maybe we can get Justice to open up a case against Aretha… I caint think of it now, but she’s gotta be breaking some public ordinance in this shot… Jesus, please, just come back right now and help this woman…. Or at least can we get a CGI cat to digitally slim her down a lil bit, maybe just through the neck?  Goodness.  Oh but she waddent the only Grammys disaster. Oh no, R&B gave you a classic industry icon turned fashion debacle and counterbalanced it off with someone I thought couldn’t even make herself look uglier.

Yep, Celie was at it again:

Oh damn…

Young child at home, check. No biologically linked man at home with that child, check. Tittay Tat, check. Lack of properly applied make-up, check. When keepin’ it real with a hair cut went fucking WMD, Dubyah Bush sleeping at the wheel, worst Pres-o-dent ever level wrong CHIZECK!! Uncomfortable foreign object in her left hand, check. Garbage ass knock off bag with the alleged in style animal print bottom…Ok, even though I don’t respect it, we’ll put that in the win column for this chick, she needs it. Damn, Fantasia.  We need to call the airbrushers in on you, too.  First thing they need to do is clean up that grille, color in that dome piece and fill out that wild wig.  Again, whoever told you ladies that the fade was the hot look for the spring was just trying to clear yall out to make their hair look good.  There’s nothing good about this cut.  Not in theory, execution or even it’s evolution.  It’s just all bad.

Damn Fanny, I liked it better when you did that up and down bop and yelled “come on” before every verse back in your American Idol days. This shit is just unacceptable kid. In the words of that hot ghetto mess site, you’ve just gotta do better.

– Lake

The Worst President Ever delivers last State of the Union address

As we officially go into the last year of the worst presidency in the short history of this nation, Americans can at least take some solace in the fact that we won’t have to hear this bumbling clown mangle the English language while he simultaneously mangles all relevant facts in this particular forum.

Dubyah, gave his last State of the Union address and all I can say is good riddance. The more things I can check off to usher his simple arse out the door, the better. Is it just me or does it still make you cringe to see that guy walk through the door when that old dude says “I present to you the President of the United States.” Jeez. It will be nice to have a shred of respect for the President again once this dude finally goes away. Like really, I don’t agree with Republicans generally, I think Mitt is plastic, Huck is crazy and McCain is sold, but at very least I can respect them on the most basic fundamental level.

If this thing were about aptitude and merit, Bush would be washing lettuce at Popeye’s Chicken in Downtown Waco, Texas right now. And you idiots elected him twice.

Take a bow.

– Lake

———-UPDATE—————

I know the Bush Presidency took place over the course of 8 years and everyone ages in office, but Bush looks like he caught an ass whoopin’ on top of everything.  Peep this:

Bush in 1999 after winning the Presidency:

Bush last week:

DAMN!  I see him starting to rock his “Democrat Blue” ties as he slides into lame duck territory too…

-Brock

When Art Informs Life

I just came across an article in Esquire Magazine that featured work by R. Luke Dubois who had a brilliant idea.  He took every president’s State of the Union Address and analyzed the most common words.  He then put them into a backlit eye chart by frequency.  I think it speaks for itself.  Check out other presidents through time at his website.  The collection is called “Hindsight is 20/20”.

Clinton:

Bush:

-Brock