Chien “Manye (?)” GONE!!!

Hey man. I’ve pretty much left these Yankees alone this year. I mean, I know they’ve righted that ship a little bit. I mean, kinda, right? They are above .500 and while they’re literally 5.5 games out of first as I type, they seemed like they were making a little comeback. Don’t worry that they already have the worst pitching staff in the American League East AND the highest payroll in the history of Baseball. Anyway, I decided to just leave the thing be, at least, until the end of the playoffs. Right. That was until the one bright spot on that shaky pitching staff, Chien-Ming Wang busted up his foot running the bases in an inter league game.

And now they’re saying homey probably won’t be back until September. Ugly. Lucky for ole Hank Steinbrenner there’s no salary cap in Baseball, because this little accident is going to cost the Yanks in the open market. Let’s face it, their pitching already sucked. They’ve already been out classed by the Sawks, Rays (huh?) and the rest of the AL East is breathing down their necks.

These fools best go ahead and give Jason Giambi’s steroids errrr gold thong (incidentally, which would you rather be accused of, ‘Roids or Gold thonging it?) for some good MLB karma.

But no matter what you suckas do, you’ve got absolutely no answer for the Red Sox’s still incomplete pitching staff or my main mang, Manny.

Consider the power shifted my friends. You’ve got no answer for Manny, Papi, Lowell, Pedroia, Youk, Ellsbury, and the fellas, ok? And you definitely don’t want none of Dice K, Becks, Wakefield and wild Papels. Nah. See those names I just listed, they’re stars. Yall just sitting ’round, looking like some biatches.

Now you’re gonna have to learn to deal with it.

– Lake

Andy Pettitte is a stankin’ cheater

Hey, what’s up with these idiots in the NY media acting like Andy Pettitte was courageous for admitting to his HGH use?

First off, in the past he always lied about his illegal HGH use. Then he lied about how many times he used it. The only reason why he copped to what he did was because McNamme fingered him. And how do we know that he didn’t use other drugs? He lied before, why not lie again? Come on.

This idiot Tom Friend buried Barry Bonds, but now he’s saying he doesn’t consider Pettitte a cheater? Oh, I get it.

I can’t tell what’s wilder about this pic, the fact that Mrs. C. HGH’d up and got rock hard or the way she’s griping up on that ‘Roided up dack.  lol.

Now I get how these media types work, if you like the guy and can identify with him, he’s not a cheater, even when he admitted to illegal drug use. If you think the dude isn’t a nice guy and you can’t identify with him, then he’s a liar and a cheater. I love the Sports Media. A bunch of hypocritical hacks who couldn’t make it in the legitimate news biz but now allow their own personal biases and prejudices completely taint all semblance of integrity in their reporting.

I know, I know, you’re paid to have an opinion and just are doing your job. I know. Ridiculous.

– Lake

Clemens: He injected me, just not with ‘Roids

According to ESPN.com Roger Clemens hit “60 Minutes” with that same line Eddie Murphy the Prince hit Eddie Murphy the Barber with in Coming to America.

Barber: Well Goddamn boy, what kinda chemical you got in there?

Prince Akeem: I have used no chemicals, only juices and berries

Barber: Sheeyut, that aint nothing but a ultra-perm

No question, Roger is persisting with this “waddent me” defense of the claim that he used performance enhancing drugs to boost his career. Now he’s getting a little more specific saying that his trainer, Brian McNamme, the one who dimed him out under threat of criminal prosecution, injected him with Vitamin B-12 and Lidocaine, a local anesthetic used to treat skin inflammations and not the Juice.

Don’t you love this “Shaggy” defense, which is really another Eddie Murphy creation, of “Waddent me” that Roger is trying to sell us now? It’s so hot. Oh, I get it, you were injected by this dude, only he was hitting you with B-12 and Neosporin for that butt acne errrr sensitive skin men have on their asses (?)..LOL.

(Yall see Rocket’s lady? I think she may be on something too….5 kids and all ripped in the midriff?)

You gotta hand it to ole Rog, though. Through all of this he has remained himself. He’s just the quintessential asshole and always has been. I guess that’s what happens when the media gives you a pass for your transgressions during your entire career. Just like when he told us he threw that bat at Mike Piazza because he thought it was the ball. I know, I know, he had a flashback to KICKBALL when he could a fool out by hitting him with the ball while they run the bases.

I get it. HA. How does hitting a dude with an alleged baseball make sense Rog? You think on that one, then answer me this:

If you’re bent over and Brian McManne, a professional sports trainer, was injecting you with what you thought (wink, wink) was B-12 and Palmers Coco Butter, then how do you really know he didn’t swap out those CVS syringes for some of those Balco ones?  What are you saying, that you never knowingly took steriods?

I know, I know, as far as you know, that was B-12, Vitamin C and Jack Daniels coursing through your veins. Believe me, it happened to me too. I was just helping that UNC hick chick over the fence back in college when her pappy came out with the shotty…

How was I to know we’d get all tangled up like that?

Come on, we all know the Rocketman is a liar. Oh and I bet it felt good when McNamme’s lawyer promised to sue your candy ass if you lied in that 60 Minutes interview or the presser you’ve got scheduled for Monday. Watch yourself son…

– Tabaccy spittin Lake with a ten gallon hat on his head

“…Played by ‘Johan’ Santana…(guitar solo)”

Ok, that is the one and ONLY Wyclef reference you’ll ever get out of me. Yes, that was my ode to “Maria, Maria.” By the way, what exactly did Clef do in that song if ole boy was singing and Carlos Santana was playing the guitar… Somehow uttering “East Coast, West Coast” doesn’t qualify as a collaboration in my eyes. Oh well.

Fresh off a World Series Championship and reports say that the Sox are the only team talking to the Twins about acquiring the best left hander in the game. Damn, maybe Theo really is the Don.

Let me tell yall something. If the Sox get Yo-Han Santaner, there’s gonna be a lot of slow singing and flower bringing around American League ballparks next year.

Are you serious? Johan Santana, Josh Becks, Dice K, Curt Schill, Wild Wakfield and Jon Lester/Clay Buchholz? Are you serious? With those bats in the line-up? And who are the Yankees to be setting deadlines on people, yeah right, just like they weren’t going to deal with A-Rod if he opted out, right?

Whatever, let this deal go through and it’s gonna be a footloose Pap, a bedazzling Ortiz, Manny being Manny and another World Championship ring cementing the Sawks as a true dynasty.

I look forward to it. Wow.

Here is what Curt Schilling had to say about it on his blog:

A rotation featuring Beckett, Santana as the top two is pretty much as good as it can get. The thought of pitching behind these guys has to fire ya up. That being said I look at it like this.

If we make the move we’ll have done so with Theo knowing whatever he had to trade to acquire him he can restock those spots either from within, or via trade. How much is too much when you’re talking about trading for the best left handed pitcher in the game? How much is too much when you consider what he and Josh could do over the next 5-6 years.

Finally an opinion from Curt that I can appreciate.

-Lake

Sucker Free Playoffs: Down go the Yanks…

It’s not like everyone didn’t see this coming. Well, everyone except LeBron (by the way, what the hell was he thinking?) and a few myopic Yankees fans who have deluded themselves that “the Sox don’t want to see us in the playoffs”. True, the Sox didn’t want to see you, but that was only because the only place they’d see you was bass fishing or something. Hey, yall weren’t built for this….man.

Only serious contenders need apply and serious contenders don’t spend $28 mil on a 45 year old juicer has been like Roger “HGH” Clemens. Ok?

So while you’re discussing whether “the boss” decides to fire Joe Torre, Brian Cashman, whether A-Rod decides to opt out or if you can keep Posada and Rivera, remember this:

(Manny iz King mang, the King homes!!!)

Dasrite, the Sox are better, Manny is being Manny and Ortiz is about to mess around and get the GOP nomination nod, because the Sawks are on a roll and are looking like the team to beat. I think Nino Brown said it best, “So C-ya and I wouldn’t wanna be ya“.

(Drop down and get your eagle on)

Party like a Red Sox, T-T-Totally Dude!!!!!

PEACE.
– Lake

Joba the Nut: Yankees rookie reliever suspended 2 games for throwing at Youkilis

Not since Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy went into that alley in China town looking for Billy Bear has there been this much buzz about a rough and tough Big Indian. But Joba Chamberlain appears to be the real thing. I fall more on the Red Sox side of the Yankees v. Red Sox rivalry, but I must give credit where credit is due to Joba.

I like when a young fella comes in there and mixes it up and that’s just what Joba did when he threw 99 MPH fastballs at Kevin Youkilis’ head, not once, but TWICE on Thursday. Joba said he didn’t do it on purpose but the umpire who tossed him and MLB disagreed and hit ole boy with a $1,000 fine and two game suspension on Friday.

Hey, nobody knows what Joba really did… Only he does. Either way, I like it. I just wish the AL pitchers had to step in and bat, then things would actually be equal. Yeah, the Sox could hit A Rod or Jeter, but that’s so cat. Somebody needs to hit Big Joba right in his big ole head with a 93 MPH heater…

That will wake his candy ass up. Overall, I like it though. Nice work J, take these two days, rest up and get ready for the home stretch.

-Lake