Archive for the ‘USC’ Category

Ohio State v. USC Preview

September 10, 2008

I don’t know how they got here, but there are a lot of Buckeyes here at Us Versus Them.  I was skeptical at first, but the cats who roll with us are definitely Us so we let em slide.  One problem though, they are completely delusional about the Ohio State vs. USC game this weekend.

Sure, they dominate the Big Tenleven right now.  Sure, they’ve been to the national championship game for the last two years and won the big game in 2003.  The problem?  They also got drug the fuck up out of those games for the last few years.  Ohio State is really the best argument out there for a playoff system in College Football.  Sure, they win the Big 10 every year lately, but they also stop playing football long about Halloween and wait for every other team to beat itself up for a month before the season is over and somehow rise to the top without playing a single game.

In this corner we have the USC Trojans.

Every year is not their year.  They’ve been struggling since the end of the Leinart, Reggie Bush era they’ve gotten shocked more than they should have but they looked great in that first game.  Every once in a while, they end up looking like a pro team out there more than a college team.  This seems like one of those times.

These teams lock it up on Saturday night out in California in the first huge football game of the year.  Oh, did I mention that Ohio State is going at it without their star player Beanie Wells and they almost lost one to Ohio last week.  I mean literally had to Man Up like they were UvT fans playing on Monday instead of Saturday afternoon.

So here it is.  Ohio State vs. USC is must see tv this weekend.  I think Ohio State needs a miracle to pull it off.

Is there anything I missed?

Right.  Go Trojans.



Will and Triple B are usually up in this joint errrrrryday and twice on Mondays, meanwhile we haven’t heard hide nor hair from these dudes.  OSU fan…Man Up!

Thick White Woman Alert: USC Soccer Star Megan Ohai

July 29, 2008

All I know is that somebody needs to check the post count ‘for he be talking about Lake falling down on the job. Hey, Lake don’t blog unless it’s for a worthy cause. I aint been inspired, so like Oran Juice Jones, “Instead I chilled“. Ya dig? But bumping around the net today, I saw something that did catch my eye. Dats right, another thick white woman gone public. Meet Megan Ohai, an All-American soccer star from Utah (they got thickness in Utah?) who now makes her home at USC:

Pedestrian you say? “Yeah, so what” you quip? Sure, but have you familiarized yourself with angle 2?

And in case you’re wondering, I’m not talking about the emaciated zebra on the left. Nah, we’re hunting big game at usversusthem. And what I love about this chick is that she reminds me so much of babes I grew up with. You know the ones. Back in the day they were dissed for being “boxy” or “bulky”. Basically they were dissed for being that softball girl we all knew.

That’s right, I don’t buy that the new white girl ass is really all that new. Nah, it’s just out, exposed and celebrated now for all to see. Remember our Cheerleader friend from Indiana University (NSFW and ALL)?

One version of the previously underground thick white chick was this same highly coordinated and athletic type who had to do everything she could to keep that fat and unappreciated ass out of harms way lest she be tormented and persecuted for her beneath(s). Consequently, dat ass had to go stealth with a series of button ups, long tees and sweaters. It was hidden, along with the advanced thigh, so that the closest you ever got to seeing the goods was this:

Uh huh. See the KFC thigh? See the arched up back piece and the nebulous wonder twins activating up under the hook? See, if you can’t see it, it’s because you just don’t have an eye for it. I know, I was once like you. I couldn’t appreciate it. I had to have it spelled out for me. But now I see a pic like the one above, engage my Lake-Ray vision and see all the possibilities, namely:

Hello! Hot dammit and yes you do have to take away a quarter point for the excessive lean, but hey, it’s all good. And you know what really hilarious about this pic? Look at ole zebra trying to pull her ass out like she’s sittin on them thangs, poor thing. I think Weezy said it best in A Milli:

You’re like a (chick) with no ass, you aint got shit!

And that bemused look on her face, that’s what happens when you realize that a revolution has started up, but you’re not on board. It’s the same face Ole Mayne McCain had when President Obama was rocking the house in Berlin (incidentally, if cats in Germany have Obama-mania, given their wild history, don’t you pretty much think it’s a wrap for John Boy?).

It’s the look of defeat. She knows she can’t compete. Oh and I know what the true connoisseurs of the lady are thinking, “Ok, she’s got the arse, but what about the rest of her, I mean, I can live with a semi butterface, after all we all have at one point or another, but what about the front Lake, wuz up with THAT?”… I got you homies. But I must say, my findings are mixed. Here we have skrong athletic belly.

Which is very cool, by the way, ole Petra Cotton tail over there looks kinda cute, but that outfit looks like a Spencer’s gifts special, ok? Just terrible dude. But then once you go to that angle 1.5, it starts to get a lil dicey for young Meg.

I know, I know, I just don’t know women’s bodies and every woman has that little pooch. Maybe, but how can I discern the pooch from the suck in?

I own know. I suspect we just caught her in the off season, because this shot right ‘chere is juuust about right if you account for thick white woman arse credentials and a KFC bloodline on them legs:

And I do repeat, if you’re not working but with one thang below the waist, you’re just not living your life right guys. Trust me, you gotta learn to work a chick like this. Now see, I bet some dude named ‘Kirk’ is bullshittin on this babe right now. Cat aint touched a thigh, has yet to tenderize that rump…I mean, just has no clue.

How do I know that, because I was once that way. Us white dudes, we keep it old school until someone shows us the light. It’s pretty basic. You start at the J, then you let her focus on you, then you just go straight in for the smash.

It’s a damn shame too. Now that I’m an old school player, I’d be firing up the Kingsford on some slow roast with this babe. You can’t let that fire burn too hot, gotta let it marinate my nillaz. Don’t worry, stick with me, I’ll learn ya.

– Lake

UvT Sports: College Football Roundup

September 23, 2007

The Michigan Wolverines clipped #10 Penn State this weekend and still didn’t crack the top 25, in fact, they were still 31 with the number of votes they got.  It didn’t help that Appalachian State got clipped by Wolford (wherever the hell that is) this weekend.

It’s alright…crazy…cowbell toting, cape wearing, weird batman hooded, disappointed you can’t get ranked guy.  Your boys will be back.

After getting shout outs in Us Versus Them columns this week, but Bama and South Carolina lost this week.  Both were decent games too.  The teams are both overachieving up until this point and ran into some SEC powerhouses.  They really play a different brand of ball down there in the southeast, and those LSU tigers are really starting to look unstoppable.

USC and John David Booty handled their business, and so did these ladies as always.

There is clearly a cup size requirement in Southern Cal.

Stay Tuned for the NFL roundup later this week.  Is it just me or are the NFL scores crazy this year?  Fantasy teams are putting up ridiculous scores this year.


College Top 25: Can USC ride Booty to the Championship?

August 22, 2007

The first College Football poll has been issued, and once again USC is in the drivers seat.


That’s right, SoCal is going to depend on the JDB, John David Booty, to take them all the way. Booty, Booty, Booty better be rocking everywhere, because it will all be on him. Luckily they play in the PAC 10, so they only have to play 3 teams that are ranked right now. Nebraska, who should be overmatched that early in the year, Cal and UCLA. Oh, they also get to embarrass the hell out of Charlie Weiss and Notre Dame on October 20th. Brock will be watching. How can you lose when your cheerleaders look like this?


(I see you first on the left, and third one in)

So there is one team who will be playing on the first Monday in January, now who else will be there?

LSU, West Virginia, Texas and Michigan round out the top 5 in the AP, and Florida switches in at #3 for West VA in the USA Today Poll. Out of those five teams, I’d bank on Texas to make a good push for the top, but it is going to be tough to run the table in the Big 12. If they can get past Oklahoma in October, they will have a good shot. I’d say Michigan has a good shot to actually play for the title this year on the back of Mike Hart (who only fumbled once his entire college career, he was a freshman), but there are a few things wrong with that. First, they are playing in the Big Eleven Ten and there are two other teams ranked in the top 10 right now. (Wisconsin and Ohio State) Second, the seniors on this team have never beat Ohio State. Third, Lloyd Carr always ends up bitching up his own team at some point in the season. Usually against Ohio State. This year the schedulers are helping them out though as the Buckeyes have to run the f’ing gauntlet at the end of the season playing Wisconsin, Penn State, and the Wolverines within 4 weeks with only a quick break against Illinois.

Boise State gets rewarded for their “breakthrough” season with a “f*ck You” ranking of 24th in the nation. Yeah, good luck becoming a perennial power on that foundation. Seriously, those guys haven’t lost a game since 2005, they ran the ballsiest plays ever called in a bowl game to win, and that brother finally married that cheerleader babe, doesn’t that count for something? Apparently not. I didn’t know football rankings had a good ol’ boys network.

If you haven’t seen the end of the Fiesta Bowl last year, check this out.

Want to know a funny, little known fact? Check the USA Today Poll and Duke, which is hands down the worst Division I team in the nation, received a vote. That’s right, the Ol’ Ball Coach, Steve Spurrier gives Duke a shout-out every year for giving him his first head coaching job. Thanks Steve!

Oh, and guess which team has finally been abandoned by the d*ckriders? Notre Dame is unranked. Touchdown Jesus couldn’t even hide this one. Ty Willingham says up yours Charlie!