Archive for the ‘Ellen Degeneres’ Category

Dumbization of America III: Ellen is Doggone Crazy

October 19, 2007

You dog lovers have gone too damn far. I know who you are too. Those let your dog lick you in the mouth, (even little man in the back knows that ain’t right) let your dog jump on guests talking about “oh he likes you!’, talk about your dog like they are one of your kids, people. Here is what I do when I run into one of these people’s dogs.


Anyway, for those who haven’t heard, here is Ellen Degeneres on her show a few days ago:

Talking about how she can’t act like she’s happy and make jokes because she is so upset about some dog that she adopted. She is seriously crying, for real. It is really terrible.

I don’t know where you work, but I can’t just walk into my job and shut it down. Sure, if there was a death in the family, or you are sick or injured…sure you might get some leeway. If you get your shelter dog repossessed? Oh hail naw, that isn’t flying. That gets your ass fired from a real job.

So here’s what happens next, loyal Ellen fans start calling the woman who owns the animal shelter and start calling in death threats. By the way, the shelter is set up to actually protect animals. Either keep them off the streets and find them safe homes, or try to put them down humanely so they don’t live a hard life. So let’s see if I get this right, Ellen doesn’t get to give her dog away, so let’s kill the woman that made the decision. I know you PETA people are feeling yourselves after ruining Michael Vick’s career for no good reason, but this is getting out of hand.

Hell I half blame the owner of the shelter too. How can you take yourself so seriously that you went and dog-jacked the puppy back from Ellen’s hairdresser? Can I get a little common sense applied to that rulebook? I know your everyday job is a little more about compassion and scooping up shit than it is complex problem solving, but this can’t be worth it.

I don’t get it. Lake, can you help a brother out? Why do white people love dogs so much?

That’s just nasty.



Ellen took the rest of the week OFF! She said she needed a long weekend to recover. Aren’t there bigger issues going on in the world? Hell, there should be bigger issues going on in her life. That’s just crazy.


Yo, I had heard about this nonsense but seeing that video really seals it.  I guess we should have known Ellen was crazy ass all hell, all comedian are… that’s why they’re so funny.  On the real, find me one normal comedian and I’ll show you an unfunny mufucka… By the way, speaking of unfunny, why is Dane Cook famous?  Anyway, you know Lake is like a modern day Beast Master and because of that I can say that Ellen is a full on idiot.  She’s got a platform to raise social awareness, be funny and generally entertain, but instead chick comes on and starts blubbering about how she botched a dog rescue?  Shed tears for people in poverty, folks in NO or all the cats who are getting their legs blown off thanks to Dubyah and these idiot Republicans, don’t cry for Fido just because he’s kicking it with a family you happen to not know.  Terrible.