Archive for the ‘Terps suck’ Category

Belmont Fans & Duke Haters Almost Had One

March 21, 2008

Oh yeah, all those cats I like to call “Dook Fans,” meaning people who claim to “hate Dook” but actually know more about Duke Basketball than they do their own teams, really thought they had something. Can’t you just imagine watching them as Belmont took the lead? I mean, pure joy and ecstasy had to be coursing through their veins.


Then reality set in and G did that damn thing.


Which left yall realizing that just like so many times before:


Look, the almost Duke loss is all I’m hearing all over sports talk radio and all over ESPN. Yes, if Duke had lost, that would have been the biggest debacle in the Program’s history. But yall gotta understand one thing: Duke didn’t lose. It was in fact “the other way” as Marlo learned that clown security guard that dared test him.


Now to be fair, Duke has played lackluster ball since the first Carolina game. Why I don’t know. But let’s just understand one thing, our lackluster ball is still better than yall haters’ best 95% of the time. Go ask the Murrland Terps whether it was a down year for “Dook”… Yeah, I quickly tuned in to see if what’s there name and them got at Maryland’s Basketball team tonight too… Since NOBODY gives a rat’s ass about the NIT or Terps Hoops, you might ax “who”…


Dasrite (Shouts to Larry Dutchinson), while Duke struggled to WIN in the NCAA Tournament, those oh so talented Maryland Terps LOST to hapless Syracuse in the NIT. Very nice. Now, what hurt more, Maryland losing to SU and the taste of those salty nizzuts or Duke winning at the end?


Don’t lie. Yall know you HATED to see Duke pull that out. In fact, you hate Duke more than you like Murrland, UNC, UK, and all the rest of those other “Dook” schools. Hilarious.

Go Duke…no seriously, Duke, go and do something about this terrible play.


There, at least I did my part.

– Lake

Can You Say Bubble Burst? Maryland’s Season is OVA!!!!

March 14, 2008

Hilarious. Break out the co-eds and chicken waaangs, Murrland is coming home.


I told you Murrland fans that you didn’t have the players, coaching and nizzuts for this here season.


And all the smack talking haters on this blog just had so much to say early on. Slowly but surely, we stopped hearing from them though. “TerpFan” was running smack early on in the year. First it was before Duke Game No. 1. Then, Duke spanked them in their own house.


Then “TerpGrad” started in about how Maryland was a better academic institution than Duke. That was laughable, but I had to direct him to US News and World Reports Rankings and then that rhetoric ceased. Then Duke spanked that candy ass in Game 2 and I heard even less.


Oh wait, do you hear that? Yep, it’s the sound of silence. Boston College just took that old dog named Maryland Basketball out back shot it. You will not pass go, will not go to the NCAA and you will not collect any more recruits. Now go to sleep bitches!!! Game, set, match, season, done!


Let the riots in College Park begin….


That’s your season going up in flames.. Enjoy that first round exit from the NIT.

Go Duke.

– Lake

This Just In: NIT Bound Terps Still Suck

March 13, 2008

To all my loyal Terp fan readers, I’m sorry this post took me four days to complete.


It’s not that I wanted to neglect you, it’s just that every time I tried to write it, I ended up laughing so hysterically that I couldn’t complete it.


Now, unlike others, I love to be the one to say, “I told you so.” So let me go ahead and say it, I TOLD YOU SO! LOL. Contrary to the rhetoric so many of you hit me with this entire season, clearly your team wasn’t all that good and obviously you were a completely inferior squad when compared to those Duke Blue Devils.


Just look at you, you’ve got ONE win against a top 50 team when you stole that game from UNC. Otherwise, you haven’t done shit to deserve an at large bid. I know, I know, you guys can still win the ACC Tournament. Sure and I can still play striker for AC Milan. You guys are lucky ESPN is still calling you a bubble team. In all truth, you cats aren’t on the bubble, you’re under the bubble only that bubble is deez nuts!


Anyway, I’ll certainly be tuned in Thursday night when Boston College puts that final bullet in your coffin. And it don’t look much better for next year either. How are you guys going to have any better chance of making the Tournament in 2009? You’ll lose Osby and Gist and replace them with two Junior College players, a post grad guy and one decent 4 star recruit. Sure, Vasquez is solid, but he’s just that, solid. He’s not a guy who can kill anyone by himself and Hayes is barely an ACC level talent. Just face it Maryland fans, your coach can’t and doesn’t want to recruit.


I enjoyed watching you guys blow a 20 point second half lead to Clemson the other day, the looks on the faces of your fans were priceless.


“To riot or not to riot, that is the question.”


And then that swift and stiff ass kicking you took from bottom feeding UVa on the road, how very Terp of you to not show up when you needed to most. Anyway, enjoy that first round tap out in the NIT. It’s not like I didn’t tell you fools that you’d be there. Now if I can only get you clowns to discontinue any and all discussion about the “competitive academics” at Murrland. Maryland is a fine school, but when I was applying to Colleges, my list included Stanford, Brown, Princeton and Penn, not Virginia Tech, Florida State and Murrland, ya dig? There is no comparison, kind of like basketball this year. Now you guys just sit there and deal with it. LOL Oh and get ready to hear me run my mouth allllll summer and allllll next year too. Haaaaaa Terps suck.

– Lake

Yawn: Duke whips Maryland again

February 14, 2008


I think this bum Cliff Tucker pretty much sums up the dynamic between Maryland and our stalkers in a half shell, those idiot Murrland Terps:

“I cannot stand Duke.” Tucker said. “I tell people all the time, if they gave me a scholarship (yeah right) and that was my only Division I scholarship, I’d go Division II or something like that. I would never, ever go there (no kidding, you’d never ever get in). I don’t know what it is (I do, you’re on “Dook’s” nut sack). I can’t stand Duke.”

Hey, I hear the legendary Cliff Tucker.


If I scored 4 and 2 points in each of my first two, double digit loss, games against Duke, I’d hate them too. I know, I know, he said that BEFORE he took those two ass whippings and sucked up the place with inferior play, but clearly Duke is on his mind so much that he was bound to that that L.  Hey Cliff, get your game up before you start talking shit.


Even Herm Edwards things you should tone it down some until you actually do something in this league.  But did you enjoy Kyle Singler dropping 3 after 3 on your hapless ass defense?


Did you like how well you’re team played only to take yet another double digit beat down?   Your team is not good.  Sure you can get up and challenge Duke or even beat a lazy ass Carolina team, but what about American and Ohio?  You know when we see results like that, we feel very much like Greg Paulus did during the game.


It’s just hilarious.  Oh and enjoy this little run you’re making in the ACC, save for the Duke losses of course, because as soon as Osby and Gist don’t graduate and leave your team, for the NBDL, your going to get even worse.  I know, I know, you’ll have some new Juco thug come in to play in the post.  Yes, I know that’s true.  Gary is a beauty.

– Lake

The Battle for the Beltway

February 12, 2008

Go Go music (argh), mid calf socks, rioting (oh my bad, that’s gonna happen on Wednesday at UMd after Duke beats the Terps again), do rags, overpriced real estate and plenty of white folks walking dogs and pushing strollers – yep, it must be election day in Murr-lin, Va and DC.


Conventional wisdom says that it will be a big day for Obama and McCain, but I’m not so sure. I’d be willing to bet that Hilly C. can make some noise in Northern Virginia, even if she does get the gas face in Newport Newz, Hampton and Virginia Beach.


At the same time, Barack’s act won’t play well in parts of Maryland where they pretty much see him this way.


He better talk their language. In fact, I heard when he spoke at the University of Maryland at College Park, his security had to dress him like an everyday Terps student just to ensure his safety.


You know those thugs with books are getting all riled up like some domestic insurgeant in preparation for their that imminent ass whoopin Duke is going to lay on their boys come Wednesday.


All in all, it should be a pretty important day, so I’m hopeful. We all pretty much realize that the UvT endorsed candidate, Barack, can’t just edge out Hilly C…. Nah, he’s got to win decisively so these wild “Super delegates” don’t throw salt in the people’s game. Honestly, isn’t it time to shelve these arcane electoral processes? Fine, we get it, when you started this vote you didn’t want some hicks with pitch forks out in the sticks taking over your slaves errr and errr government.


You wanted a buffer to save the people from themselves. But at this point, we really need a voting system that is truly representative. One person, on vote, tally up the votes, peace out. Hell, even the Electoral College needs to go. Just think about it, without that silly system, we would have never had to put up with all of Dubyah’s BS.


Convinced? Yeah, it’s time for reform. We need someone who will get the job done.. Someone who isn’t afraid to go to war and do what’s necessary. Someone who can keep people in line.. Yep, I’m nominating Marlo Stanfield for President with Secretary of Offense, Snoop Pearson, ready to beat back any mufucka who doesn’t stay in their lane.


Come on, he already took control of the entire West Side of Baltimore, Iraq would be a picnic for this cat. “Joe, it won’t hurt none, close your eyes.” Marlo is the best.

– Lake

Two words for Maryland fans: DeMarcus Nelson

January 28, 2008

By the time you read this post all the early model compact and sub-compact American cars that Maryland “students” lit on fire “in protest” for Duke’s win should burning out and many of the now detoxed drunken thugs with books should be posting bail.

So that means that Duke must have won, right? Well, yes, Duke did win, but win or lose the Maryland thugs will riot, so that’s not necessarily indicative of an outcome either way. With that said, I was really impressed with Maryland’s squad and that’s something I haven’t said since Juan Dixon was doing his thing back in the day. Though I hate to admit it, they are a lot better than their record indicates and will be a tough out for several ACC teams going forward as long as they can avoid the classic Gary Williams let downs to weaker teams.


Still, after being down 9 at the half in an emotional game, the Good Guys manned up, lead by the Captain DeMarcus Nelson, and got a tough win on the road with a 93-84 victory at the cable box in Maryland.


(I know, I know Maryland fans, Duke gets all the calls and that’s why they won, not because Duke is just better and this was a foul on Henderson that they missed too, I know.)

Again, the hallmark of this group is team. It’s completely cliche but dammit it’s true. Guys get cold, other guys get hot, some guys just don’t have their best stuff, but with this group, unlike any other Duke team I’ve ever seen, there’s always someone there to pick up the slack. There’s always a man ready to step in and do his duty. Tonight that man was DeMarcus Nelson with 27 points, 19 of them in the second half.


I mean, homey was ballin out there! He was hitting mid range shots, getting and ones, hitting free throws, making defensive plays, distributing the rock, battling on the boards and just being an all around leader out there. You could just feel the guys gravitating toward his example. It’s like he was balling with the fight music from Gladiator playing in the background. In fact, if you want to run that back and understand what DeMarcus was hearing during the MD game, go ahead and hit play.

Great stuff.

Talk about coming of age, a career high on the road at hostile MD with the ignorant thugz/studentz looking on in utter disbelief? And what about young Nolan?!


Geez, could that cat play any better? Homey was DEALING out there with runners, threes, dimes and defensive plays. Bottom line, he was integral in Duke’s win tonight. Forget the future, the future is now. I honestly don’t see how Coach K can’t seriously consider Nolan for the starting job after what we saw tonight. Not only that, but he plays well with his teammates. He finds guys in the right spots for them to make their shots and if they can’t make them, he’s in the right position to take his own. If Elliot Williams is as advertised, Duke’s future backcourt will be very scary.

I would be remiss if I didn’t make note of the hot game turned in by the (near) future NBAer Gerald Henderson.


Homey’s mid range game is taking off like Soul Glo’s home weave products. I mean, this cat is a BEAST on that curl (no pun intended). That elevation, the silky smooth release, the dunks on fast breaks, the polos, the nikes, the grind, empty bottles of No-Doz, I spent that gas money on clothes with logos…my bad, had a Kanye “The Glory” attack. But that’s how Hendo’s game is right now though. This cat is literally taking cats to the Glory and they really “can’t stand it lord” with that choir in the background and Coach K spinning Hendo’s greatest hits on the sideline.


This is a team of men… and I fucking love it.


Go Duke.

Oh, much respek to my main mahn Lance Thomas, him be on the rise right about now, really competing and doing his thing for Duke Blue. Lance, keep sticking with it homey. You’ve been ballin the last couple of games and the squad needs what you bring. Incidentally, I know this cat tries to channel Ben Wallace, but can someone please tell me why this is necessary?


Look, I’m not trying to start no trouble, but I’m just saying. This cat looks like Lord Helmet from Spaceballs out there. It just aint right. I mean, this cat is out here acting like he needs some sort of gimmick. Osby, you’re actually a decent ACC big man with talent. You don’t need that dome to draw attention to yourself….seriously, use some of that illegal Murrland booster money and go git yourself a damn haircut, bottle of Nair, something. At this point, even male pattern baldness would be an improvement. Geez.

Run the stats:

Duke Blue Devils
K. Singler, F 31 2-10 2-2 1 3 1 5 7
L. Thomas, F 18 2-3 2-4 1 2 0 4 6
G. Paulus, G 19 3-7 4-4 0 1 2 4 12
G. Henderson, G-F 33 9-12 4-6 1 5 1 2 23
D. Nelson, G 38 10-19 6-8 3 7 4 3 27
N. Smith, G 20 4-6 5-5 3 6 1 0 14
D. McClure, F 8 0-2 0-0 0 2 0 1 0
T. King, F 5 0-2 0-0 0 0 0 1 0
J. Scheyer, G 28 2-7 0-0 1 2 0 3 4
32-68 23-29 10 28 9 23 93
47.1% 79.3%
TURNOVERS: 10 (G Henderson 2, G Paulus 1, K Singler 3, L Thomas 1, D Nelson 1, N Smith 2)
BLOCKED SHOTS: 3 (G Henderson 2, D Nelson 1)
STEALS: 13 (G Henderson 1, G Paulus 4, K Singler 2, T King 1, D Nelson 4, N Smith 1)
3-PT FGS: 6-18, .333 (J Scheyer 0-2, G Henderson 1-2, G Paulus 2-3, K Singler 1-5, T King 0-2, D Nelson 1-2, N Smith 1-2)

– Lake

Trash can of the ACC: Maryland Basketball

December 23, 2007

I’ll just stick to objective facts here. This is why Maryland Sucks:

1. You’ve got a sweaty Chicken Wing Pimp for a Coach


Gary, put the hoes and chicken wangs down, try recruiting for a change.

2. Your team has a zero percent graduation rate (literally, your scholarship players never graduate…from Maryland)


Stay in school, just say no, put the pipe down, keep off the streets, put something in yo’ head and not on it and pull your shoes up. Basically, do everything that you don’t regularly do and maybe you’ll graduate a player or two in the next decade.
3. You have no recruits


Remember these? They’re called RECRUITS!! When was the last time you pulled a top flight recruit (and no, that cat Gus Gilcrist who has no offensive game doesn’t count)? When was the last time a Maryland recruiting class was actually ranked in the top 10? Oh, I’m just hatin’ right? Check the stats. Your cupboard is bare and you’ve got nobody of note in the hopper even. You can only get so many Juco thugz to fill out your line-up.

4. You play and often lose to cupcake competition designed to pad your win totals

Look at the teams Murrland play/played this year: North Florida, Hampton, Northeastern, Lehigh, VCU, Morgan State (and Hampton?), Ohio, American, Delaware, Savannah State??? I mean, what is this, who’s who in Division I-AA? LOL. North Florida? And you lose to them half the time at that. You lost to Ohio AND American at home?


I know, I know, Duke lost to VCU (just like you guys just did) in the NCAA tournament last year, but did Duke have to take Northeastern in OT to get a win? Is Duke 7-5 in mid December? No, let me help you, Duke is 9-0. Sure, you played UCLA and Missouri, but you lost! I’ll give you the win against Illinois, but that’s literally all you have to show for this year. Honestly, what do you think is going to happen to your team come ACC play?


Get some.

5. Your fans/students are ignorant thugs with books


LOL, it’s just so true, it’s hilarious.


7. You ride the dizzick of real ACC schools incessantly


We know, that’s why it happens so often, right?

8. Your players stay in trouble with the cops


Why’d you shoot your guns by the White House Lonny?


9. Your season just started but it’s already over


Even in a down ACC your team will suck this year. You’ll only do what you typically do, try to be a spoiler, the proverbial crabs in the barrel, because your season is OVA!!!!

10. Cuz Lake said so, bitches

– Young Lakey the King

Zeros in a Half Shell: Maryland Basketball disgrace

October 4, 2007

More evidence that Thug U lives in College Park Maryland.


Of all the scholarship players who entered the Maryland men’s basketball program between 1997 and 2000 NONE of them graduated from the University of Maryland. Maryland was the only program in the country that failed to graduate any of its recruits within six years, a NCAA statistic analysis showed today.

random_gary.jpg (Maybe Gary should concentrate more on the books and less on liquor, young/supple arse and chicken wangs)

The program’s graduation success rate, calculated by an NCAA formula, fell for the third straight year at a time when graduation rates are rising nationally for men’s basketball programs. The number shows that none of starters and top reserves of Maryland’s 2002 national championship team graduated within six years of entering school (Really? I thought that en route to busting caps off at the White House young Lonny Baxter would have picked up his degree in Thugology, HomoThug Anatomy or whatever it is you guys “study” at that place).


These people are very successful people,” Maryland coach Gary Williams said. “If you go to school to improve yourself economically, where have they failed (same place you have, in the classroom)? They make more than the average college graduate. Far more. If you’re judging them just based on getting a degree, then OK, they haven’t gotten a degree.”

HAAAAAAA and you wonder why his players don’t graduate. Nice attitude G. Maybe if you didn’t sit around figuring out how to improve YOURSELF economically and concentrated on what is right, which includes, but is not limited to, getting a damn college degree, your team wouldn’t be DEAD LAST in the entire nation for academic standing. I mean, you make the Maryland Football team look like, nah, forget it, they may have a better graduation rate than you, but they still look like some damn thugz….


(look at this Maryland student after a big win against Duke, these cats are animals)

I know, I know, Maryland’s academic standards are waaaaaay up. I know. I’ve heard it before. And all those rioters that burn cars, destroy property and beat the living snot out of random people are just townies from PG County looking to cause trouble. I know. But what about this riot tape from the 2002 National Championship “celebration,” looks like students to me:

Hey Murrland, you haven’t been a serious contender for the National Title since Juan and Machine Gun Lonny left. You’ve had more players arrested and suspended in the past four years than you’ve had recognized for any ACC or National Awards. Your recruits suck so much that no national recruiting analyst even takes you guys seriously (and Gtown is whoopin your candy ass in these recruiting battles every single year!!!) anymore. Your arena is a testament to your complete lack of class and Gary’s penchant for placing cash in his sweat infested grubby little pockets (and by the way, Comcast cable sucks..believe me, I have it)!!! Finally, your fans are the lowest form of humankind.


Believe me, Duke grads know this to be true because most of you miscreants end up washing our cars, mopping our floors, changing our oil, serving us our fries or receiving dollars from us at the local strip clubs.


YOU SUCK and you’ve been exposed for exactly what you are, a bunch of losers whose only delight comes from the occasional upset of a real program (with real recruits who actually graduate) like Duke, UNC, Wake, really, the entire ACC.


You’re a joke. Go back into your shell or go home and brush that tooth.. You will not make the NCAAs this year. You’re incoming class, outside of Braxton Dupree (and even he isn’t that hot) is a joke and your coach is more of a spaz than Psycho Tea.


(Stop cryin’)

To say your squad is suspect this year would be a gross understatement, hell, there isn’t one cat on the team worth a nickel except Greivius Vasquez and I’m sure yall pay him in pesos, not dollars, so I’m not even sure how that gets worked out. Enjoy the year and enjoy having had the rare distinction of being DEAD LAST in all of AMERICA in graduation rates. No child left behind? Even George Dubyah would be a genius compared to you losers. Now get back to washing my car and don’t forget wipe down my rims. You know the BMW Cabrio has a tendency to accumulate a lot of break dust, especially on the front tires.. OUT.

– Lake

Thug U: Ex Terps Hoops Star cops to gun violations..AGAIN!

July 26, 2007

Further evidence of (1) why so many people (Maryland fans included, see believe that Gary Williams sucks as a legitimate elite college basketball coach, and (2) why the University of Muuurland is literally the worst and most embarrassing member of the ACC family.


Forrmer Maryland basketball star Lonny Baxter pleaded guilty (last) Thursday to illegally shipping guns through Federal Express, his second guilty plea in less than a year for gun-related offenses.


The 28-year-old Baxter could receive up to seven months in prison under a sentencing recommendation agreed to by his lawyer and federal prosecutors. Baxter, who is scheduled to be sentenced Aug. 31, also is barred from owning firearms in the future. Damn, don’t you hate when that happens?


Last August, Baxter was arrested by the Secret Service for firing off a Glock handgun in the air near the White House (happened to me last week, sometimes you just gotta let one loose, especially right in front of the White House..WTF?!).


(I wonder if Lonny is strapped in this picture? And that black on black, awful)

He pleaded guilty to gun charges and was sentenced to two months in prison. Boy oh boy. We’ll see what ole Lonny gets this time. It’s funny, these cats being thugs was cool when they were winning, but suddenly, nobody is laughing (except me).


Look Terps fans, it’s gonna be a LOOOOOOOOONG year and mark my words, you will NOT make the NCAA Tournament this year. You struggled last year with a core of seniors in house. Sorry, Gary is gonna just have learn to recruit.. and no, these hoes with the exposed clevage and an affinity for your chicken wangs aint gonna cut it. Have you seen that recruiting class for 2007? Simon Cowell said it best, ‘ghastly’. 2008 looks no better as you’ve landed exactly ZERO of your targets. Let’s face it, the emergence of Georgetown is killing you right now. That Gary extension aint looking so hot fellas. Neither is that Lefty Driesell Jr. Jr. assistant you got ‘for recruiting purposes’. NEXT.