Archive for the ‘Ladies 2.0’ Category

Kim Kardashian Dancing With The Stars Break

September 19, 2008

You’d think that at this point, we’d be getting tired of Kim Kardashian’s ass drapped into some new gear.

But you’d be very wrong.  Dude, maybe it’s just me, but that hook never gets tired.  I mean, in a dress, filling some jeans, up high in some short shorts or down low in some drawls.  I’m sorry ladies, I know she’s a near guarandamnteed gel/silicone abuser.  I know she’s got almost zero personality and I even know that her skills in the sack don’t begin to cash those checks that her ass has been writing.

But it still doesn’t matter.  Angle three please.

I don’t know about that shot.  I mean, really.  Are yall seeing this?  Unbelievable and I don’t know if it’s the best thing ever or the worst.  But those rims look fresh to death.  Anyway, I’m waiting like a mufucker for this season of Dancing With The Stars and it aint because of Warren Sapp, ok?

Well, that’s a lie.  I do want to laugh at Warren, but Kim K in some “buck-ed naked” spandex, slimming down while that tail piece gets fitter, faster, strongerrrrrrrrrrr.

Sheeeeeit.  Even Clay knows that’s the truth.

– Lake

Top Ten Hollywood Breasts List…YES!

July 3, 2008

Hey, I didn’t come up with this list but I’m happy to discuss it. You know, as I look down at this InTouch Weekly “Best Hollywood Tits” list, I’m actually kind of embarrassed that I know all these broads. Ahh, who am I kidding, let’s get going on this here list. Now remember, this is the list according to InTouch Weekly.. Not us. But we have plenty to say.

1. Jessica Simpson

Yep, the top titty goes to Jessica Simpson. Wouldn’t have been my choice, but I can live with it.

After all, even her pops said that her ridiculous J’s were top notch.

Now you know you’ve got some serious tittay when pops is peeping them on the slide.

2. Tyra Banks

Say what? Now I know Tyra’s got giant J’s, but does she really belong inside the top three of ALL the breast tah sis in Hollywood?

Sure, her fundamentals are sound and she used to have the rest of the body to go with it. But this is a current J list, not a historical retrospective. The classic Janet song “What Have You Done For Me Lately” seems to come to mind. Answer?

Not enough. Not even close.

3. Scarlett Johansson

Ummmm, HELL YES!!! I’m not sure how it’s possible, but I think this chick is underrated across the board. Maybe it’s the lack of a nude photo shoot and sex tape. Hopefully someone can remedy that. But on the boobs front, she’s LOVELY.

Gotta run that one more gin.

4. Carmen Electra

Huh? Is she even in show business anymore? Why not Pamela Anderson? Hell, Loni Anderson.

And maybe it’s just me, but shouldn’t there be a reasonable expectation that the boobs are actually real if you’re going to call them the 4th best set in all of Hollywood? At least pic a chick with a debate, like Kimmy K…. With Carmen, she’ll tell you her joints are fake. Nah, I can’t support that.

5. Lindsay Lohan

Again, anyone who knows this blog understands my affection for Lindsay Lohan.

She’s one of my favorite celebs and yes, those ridiculous J’s have something to do with it.

On the J front, Lindsay has it all and we’ve seen it all.

You can’t hate, not on this discussion. Definitely underrated and waaaaay under appreciated. Her breasts I mean…lol.

6. Katherine Heigl

I recognize that this near no talent chick would be nothing without the superior boobs, but I just don’t like this broad.

That’s right, I don’t like her, can’t stand that character “Izzy” or whatever it is on Grey’s Anatomy and just can’t get past all the bullshit, yes, even for a pair of advanced J’s like those.

She doesn’t even make my list. Terrible. Though she does look reaaaaaally good in this next pic.

Mercy!

7. Audrina Patridge

Whaaat? You don’t mean to tell me we all feel for that completely transparent “I did some nudes back in the day and now they will be released the day before my show so please make me a star” treatment?

You bet we did. And please note how much she has truly stepped up that belly game. Wow. This babe is everywhere right now. If she had a shred of talent she’d really have something too. Though, I must say, having the nude pictures of her to refer back to whenever I see her looking right in a magazine or online is a nice luxury.

8. Jennifer Aniston

Come on now. Jennifer aint been hot since Ross was hittin’. Again, just too old, too romantic comedy. It’s just not right. Sure she’s got some J’s (NSFW), she wouldn’t be in the business if she didn’t.

But come on. She does not have some of the best tits in all of Hollywood. But these NSFW of Aniston are worth a peep. Half the time she doesn’t even have the best tits in her own relationship. She’s literally not in the same conversation with these other babes. Horrible.

9. Megan Fox

Ah, I don’t buy it. This seems very political. I do like that she stands for the fact that a chick doesn’t have to have monster boobs for them to be sexy, but this chick is not a top flight titty talent.

I mean, come on. She doesn’t have the chops and never will until she orders that full upgrade. Right? She’s got average J’s just for a regular girl, but in Hollywood, she’s squarely below average. Hell, most of the regular women walk around with better ones than that. Not even close.

10. Beyonce

Huh? Did I miss something? I don’t know, maybe B’s tittays wrote the lyrics to “Upgrade”…wait no, that was Jay Z. Curses. I hate to do this because I like Beyonce a lot. But she has no damn business on this list.

I think she’s beautiful, but if you forced me to diss her, right after I spoke on that assortment of unacceptable weaves, I’d go right to the breasts. I mean, she’s keeping it real and natural as she should and she looks damn good chest and all.

So there you have it. Are you satisfied? I’m not. I mean, where was Kim Kardashian, Halle Berry, JESSICA BIEL, hell, Mel B., Gisele….I mean, the list goes on and on. Sorry, I can’t endorse this list period. Let me give you my list.

1. Lindsay Lohan

2. Scarlett Johansson

3. Jessica Simpson

4. Kim Kardashian

5. Salma Hayek

6. Jessica Biel

7. Katherine Heigl (what can I say, that pic is still in my head)

8. Halle Berry

9. Mel B.

10. Audrina Patridge (hey, she’s already been mentioned, what could I do?)

Honorable mention: Serena Williams (don’t sleep)

Then I have to add a section for best fake boobs in the business. Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Tila Tequila, Pam Anderson and Heidi Montage.

Damn, after all that, even I’ve grown tired of tittays. I must be getting really old.

– Lake

Bow Wow’s Chick Brings that THUNDER!

May 22, 2008

Hey, if there is one thing that’s for certain, it’s that they will continue to produce ridiculously hot babes.  Take this chick for instance, Dollicia Bryan, she’s basically the next Vida Guerra and I’m happy to have made her acquaintance. 

Wow, say what you want about that King, but they bring the heat more often than they don’t.  I can’t believe Lil Bow Wow bagged this broad, but I guess it’s true.

Sheeeeeeeeeiiiit!  That cat is looking like he’s seeing some things, man.  One more. 

That aint no airbrush neither.  Damn.  Something tells me, we’ll be seeing more of this chick.  I know, I know, Video Hizzie is just like the skrip who is just like the pro and the knee bone is connected to the hip bone.. i know. 

– Lake

Thick Black Woman Alert: Stacey Dash

April 10, 2008

Maaaaayne, I’ve been loving Stacey Dash for DECADES!!! I remember when it was a battle between Stacey, Nia Long and Halle Berry for who could star in the most B grade black comedies of the Mo’ Money, Booty Call and Strictly Business variety.

Can anybody explain to me when this guy was in every single one of those movies, but never did much else in his acting career?

I know, I know, the Cosby Show.. not good enough. As an aside, isn’t it interesting that a cat like this who was repeatedly type casted as the out of touch, sold out, cornball black dude would end up as a “Conservative Commentator”? Uh-huh. I wonder why Joseph C. Phillips got all those ridiculous roles. Anyway, then she hooked up Clueless where she played a damn teenager clean into her 30!!! Now she’s 42 and still killing em softly with this latest King Magazine shoot.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.. The lord is my shepard, he knows what I want. HELP ME!!!! Are you serious? I mean, for real, are yall seeing this? This babe is 42 and she’s still putting it down like this? My goodness. Dammit. And yes, I’m aware that she hooked up the playboy, NSFW pictures which you can find HERE… I got you fellas…. I told you that Lake was your shepard…he knows what you want!

Dammit. Beautiful does not do this babe justice. She is “the one”.. I mean, can you name ANYONE who has been that bad over that amount of time? She’s unbelievable….Oh and, her mama got ass too.

– Lake

The Ladies 2.0

November 16, 2007

So the future of the internet is all about generating your own content. Web 2.0, Blogging, Flickr, You Tube, MySpace, Facebook. All of these sites have created places for expressing yourself. Making stars out of the common people. Hey, I’m all for it. Otherwise we wouldn’t have Tila Tequila, right?

So Us Versus Them is buying into it too. We always show you the hottest ladies from the mainstream press, now we are gonna see what the deal is with the best of the regular chicks. Here’s the first and dammit she’s setting the bar high.

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Here’s our girl on Halloween. And yes, I’m talking about the girl on the right, not the chick in the bad pajamas. Cute smile, silky smooth through the waist piece. She’s giving new meaning to the phrase “Fuck tha Police”.

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Now I’ve got my masters in Assology and this is when I knew I was on to something. Do you see those legs? Those calves and thighs are setting up for greatness. I’ll give you a full breakdown of how to become a certified Assologist next week, but for now just know this. Whenever you see a leg thigh combo like this with the athletic body and slimmed out waist, get ready. Now I haven’t seen the tail piece yet, but I know this young lady will not disappoint. I mean my goodness. Apparently this chick is at an ivy league law school too. Dangerous combination.

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Here’s our girl again rocking some kind of holiday shots. I don’t know why she’s rocking the sad face though, she’s packing a hook on her. I mean the stripes are just overkill at this point. Jesus. Lake is going to lose his damn mind. A white babe stacked up like a sister? Allison Stokke better watch her back. Seriously though, that is perfect. The profile never lies.

Here’s the money shot though:

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Now I don’t know if this brother was lining her up for the camera so he would never forget this moment, but I for one appreciate it bruh. This chicks body is craaaaaazy. Draws? Doesn’t look like it. Thonged up at the very least. As Lake would say “It’s lovely and I love it”.

There’s gotta be more everyday Biels out there. Send ’em in, point us in the right direction and we’ll post them up on UvT. MySpace girls, You Tube videos, whatever. Send Brock what you got.

-Brock