Archive for the ‘Michigan Football’ Category

College Football Preview: Michigan v. Ohio State

November 17, 2007

Wow, I told you two weeks ago that Oregon had a tough one on Thursday night.  It just keeps getting tougher too.  Not only did Oregon have their national title hopes shattered by unranked Arizona, but they also lost their Heisman candidate Dennis Dixon for the rest of the season.  Really tough loss.   Which brings me to the question:

Do the Oregon Cheerleaders have 200 outfit choices too?


Surprisingly decent looking chicks for the Pacific Northwest.

Looking at the matchups today, obviously Michigan v. Ohio State is the big game of the day.  In what could should be Lloyd Carr’s last game and will be Henne, Hart and Big Jake Long’s last game, Michigan should have a punchers chance if Henne and Hart actually start.  In fact, after bouncing on the sidelines like a kid missing his Ritalin last weekend, there is no way Hart doesn’t start today.  I’ve seen him check himself into games before, and today is his day.  With that said, Michigan has to be clicking on all cylinders to beat the Ohio State juggernaut.

The BIGGEST game of the week though is Duke at Notre Dame.


I mean this is the Duke Football Team’s chance to win one for the ages.  To come from the consensus worst team in the nation, winning just 4 games since 2003, and nothing at all last season.  Prior to 2003 they put together a multiple season losing streak, and now we have the chance to take down one of the most storied programs in football history.

Also, it is creeping up again, parity is forcing all the teams that looked like they were going to get frozen out of the National Championship game back into the picture.  Remember when we were about to watch Boston College v. South Florida for the national championship?  Well, now we are about to get Kansas v. Oklahoma, because LSU has to make it through the rest of the SEC and Arkansas to make it to New Orleans.  If they do, they roll, but the door is still open.


College Football Roundup

November 6, 2007

Let’s call this the “I told you so” edition. I predicted the winners and losers of the weekend on Saturday morning, and my top 5 match up with Kirk Herbstreit’s…he just called it after the game was over. Kansas makes it into the Top 5 this week in the BCS and coaches poll, but I still have Oklahoma and West Virginia rounding out the top 5 teams in the nation after OSU, LSU and Oregon.  Boston College just wasn’t going to hold up.


Like I said, FSU has powerful forces on their side.

I also have to give some love to the Michigan Wolverines. Where would they be if thy held it together for those first two games? Fine, lets assume that Oregon would have beat them anyway. The Ducks have everything that Michigan doesn’t want to see: Black Mobile quarterback, an option offense that gets to the edges of the defense, a tough running back up the middle, and those blinding green and yellow uniforms. Without that loss to Appalachian State, which is nothing but mental preparation and even then it came down to fingertips on a kicked ball, Michigan would be at least #4, probably #2 as LSU and Oregons losses (Kentucky and Cal) would have been worse than Michigan’s loss to Oregon.

Either way the Wolverines have a shot at winning the Big 10, and it doesn’t even matter what they do against Wisconson next week. All they need to do is beat Ohio State.

In the end, LSU has three games left and they need to make it past the SEC title game, definitely a tough road. Ohio State only needs to get past Michigan in the two weeks then they can take the damn near two month breather (ridiculous) before they play in the title game. I think the Wolverines pull it out in the Big House. Oregon v. USC in the BCS Championship.

Why the hell does the Big 10 get to play less games anyway? That’s just cheap.


UvT Sports: College Football Roundup

September 23, 2007

The Michigan Wolverines clipped #10 Penn State this weekend and still didn’t crack the top 25, in fact, they were still 31 with the number of votes they got.  It didn’t help that Appalachian State got clipped by Wolford (wherever the hell that is) this weekend.

It’s alright…crazy…cowbell toting, cape wearing, weird batman hooded, disappointed you can’t get ranked guy.  Your boys will be back.

After getting shout outs in Us Versus Them columns this week, but Bama and South Carolina lost this week.  Both were decent games too.  The teams are both overachieving up until this point and ran into some SEC powerhouses.  They really play a different brand of ball down there in the southeast, and those LSU tigers are really starting to look unstoppable.

USC and John David Booty handled their business, and so did these ladies as always.

There is clearly a cup size requirement in Southern Cal.

Stay Tuned for the NFL roundup later this week.  Is it just me or are the NFL scores crazy this year?  Fantasy teams are putting up ridiculous scores this year.


Michigan gets worked…AGAIN!

September 8, 2007


Yoooo, I know I said I would let Brock write something up about the Michigan v. Oregon game (after all, he was there) and he still can, but I’m sitting here watching Sports Center and I just heard the most hilarious sound clips from that Oregon-Michigan post game press conference. So hilarious that I just feel compelled to talk about it. But before I lay it all out, let me just say that I watched the Oregon-Michigan game start to finish and two things stick out to me:

1. Chad Henne is not an elite Quarterback like we were led to believe he was.


Yes I know Henne hold records or is about to hold records for TDs at Michigan. But remember, Rocky Balboa was an accomplished heavy weight champ who just knew he was hot until Mick let Rock know all his opponents “wuz has beens” and then Clubber Lang (read: Oregon) whooped his candy ass. Ok? Michigan plays in the Big 10 and quite frankly, the Big 10 is NOT a great football conference anymore. Granted, the Big 10 has great football fans and plenty of passion for the game, but the teams, coaches and competition are simply sub par. Sorry people, but it’s just true. You never were as good as the SEC, that’s just a given and now, all the other conferences have either caught up with or surpassed the Big 10. Just the facts.

So I don’t care what Henne has done against these bums. He can never do shat when his team needs him to and the only silver lining to this debacle of a start for Michy is that Chad is hurt which forces Lloyd Carr to use someone else (thank goodness). Honestly, if Michigan had to play an LSU, Florida or even Oklahoma, I think they’d have to carry Hart, Henne and Carr out on stretchers and then call up the post-Vick era representatives from the Bad Newz Kennels to either electrocute, hang or smoke each one of those dogs just to put them out of their damn misery…


***Incidentally, you can buy this T, which apparently only comes in Extra-Medium, right HERE.

2. The Michigan Defense sux. Again, it’s just a fact. They couldn’t stop Appalachia State’s spread offense with the mobile Quarterback and they really couldn’t stop Dennis Dixon and Oregon. Honestly, they couldn’t stop Oregon when they went to a plain old power game, something the Big 10 used to be know for. Seriously, Michy got rolled 39-7 and if you watched the game, it really wasn’t that close. Oregon literally could have scored two more touchdowns at the end of that game if they wanted to.


(“Dude, pass me that chewable weed, then throw your motherfu*cking O’s up maaan”)

They just didn’t want to. UGLY!

With that said and after a game of total domination by Oregon, here are a few interesting quotes I heard.

Lloyd Carr (defiantly):


“I’m a tough minded, competitive guy and there isn’t anything that comes my way professionally that I can’t handle. And there is nothing that can keep me down. Not a loss to Appalachian State, not a loss to Oregon, not a hundred losses and not the loss of my job.”

There isn’t anything that comes your way that you can’t handle? How could that be? It’s quite clear that you’re incapable of handling App State and Oregon… that we know. Further, how about showing us that you can handle a spread offense? What the hell. I mean, last week you got torched by App State and going into this week you KNEW Dennis Dixon and Oregon ran what amounts to a better version of that same offense. The recruiting websites claim you have every athlete any coach could ever want currently in-house, but yet there wasn’t one visible sign that your team had ever heard the term spread offense, much less had a game plan to stop it.


I know, I know, I’m taking the quote out of context. Lloyd meant that he can handle all the criticism. Well great, it’s easy to handle the criticism when you’re an old man who knows he’s about to leave. Why not start handling what they’re paying you to do, the FOOTBALL!!! Maybe if you were more clear, concise and confident about your ability to handle that, you wouldn’t get so much criticism. And let’s be clear, if you don’t step down this season, then you’ll just get fired so don’t get too big for your britches there talking about losing your job. As Snoop said in that parody skit of that scene in The Mack on Doggystyle, “have it your muthafuckin way”… of course, then a fool got smoked. Lloyd, that fool is YOU!


Mike Hart (with a crazy, Herm Edwards-like look on his face)


“We’re going to win [against Notre Dame] next week. There’s no question in my mind. I guarantee we’ll win next week. I’m going to get this team ready. It’s guaranteed that I’ll get this team ready. The coaches are going to do their job. The seniors are going to do their job on this team. And we’re going to win next week, I don’t care..”


Dude, I hear you trying to rally the troops and all and clearly you’ve bought into this idea of “the Michigan man”, but you can’t be out here running your mouth like this. Not after you got worked in your own stadium against TWO unranked teams when you were supposed to be looking at a National Championship this year. Really, you’re the only visible cat within that Michigan program that I feel sorry for. You were out there doing your job, but your boy Chad Henne, he just was terrible.


(Yo, is that America’s player, Eric, from Big Brother 8?)

Lloyd Carr is about as useful on a football field as Lloyd from Entourage and your Defense is just awful homey!!! I mean, didn’t you know your D was this bad when you decided to come back for your senior year? The only thing that saves you from having to eat this quote is who you’re playing next week; a team that is so terrible, so hapless and even though they’re unranked too, they’re probably the only team that has been MORE overrated then you guys over the past few years. Dude, I saw LSU whoop up on Virginia Tech tonight. Let me tell you, if you were playing either one of those teams, you would NOT be guaranteeing a damn thing, unless you were guaranteeing a 40+ point ass whooping by those good Tigers. You may make good on your promise to beat Notre Dame, but it’s just because they’re an even worse JV squad then you guys are at this point. But let’s be clear, you’re both JV quality squads and your decision to come back for this year.. it’s like that clown Michael Eric Dyson said of Mayor Ray Nagin in the HBO Documentary, When the Levies Broke, “understandable, but lamentable..” Ha, great rhetoric.

– Tough-minded, competitive Lake, guaranteeing a blog entry next weekend


Peep the press conference in full here. Pretty hilarious look on Hart’s face throughout. For once, I feel sorry for these dudes.

UvT Sports: Let’s get it!

September 4, 2007

I know you missed me while I was away, and if my email is accurate, I know the ladies missed your boy Brock. Damn, I didn’t know an opinionated brother did that for ya. My nilla Lake held it down for me in my absence, but I’ve been working for you, the loyal UvT reader. I’ve been setting up the UvT sports bureau and with college football off to a wild start, and the NFL starting to roll on Sunday. I’m just in time.

First off, let’s get started with the worst loss in college football history.

The Michigan Wolverines dropping to the uhhhh Mountaineers of Appalachian State.


First off, I hate schools that just add “state” to the end of a random word and then look at you funny when you don’t know where the hell it is. Appalachian State? Is that right next to Redneck High and Country U? Anyway, apparently while watching tape, they figured out that Lloyd Carr had no idea what to do with a damn QB draw and a brother with a pimperish name like Armanti rammed it down the throat of Michigan, IN THE BIG HOUSE! I mean where was the damn home field advantage? Aren’t those kids supposed to be intimidated just walking in to that spot? Mike Hart was riding a bike like he was competing with TO in the Tour De Oxnard instead of trying to win the game. Did he really think he would still win even if he didn’t play? Don’t let Michigan drop one to Oregon next week. Lloyd might be on the streets before the end of the month.


I know Lloyd, you are “starting over”, well you can win the Big 10 now and the Man…errrr…BCS computer won’t let you anywhere close to a big game. I predict that Michigan will be ranked long ’bout 20 today. Otherwise they will have to admit that little teams like App. State deserve to play with the big boys even though they don’t make bank like the bigs, and you know it is all about the money competition.

In other news, Notre Dame is f’n terrible. They got drug up out by Georgia Tech at home 33-3. I see you Charlie, I know, it’s a rebuilding year, keep dancin’.


Oh yes, the Brady watch is on. He is scheduled to get drug at home by the Steelers Sunday long about 1pm. The NFL season ticket is locked in, and I’ll be watching on the theater screen. Can’t wait.


————————-  UPDATE  ——————————

Michigan got knocked CLEAN out of the top 25.  My goodness.  My thing is, what do you do when a low ranked team wins the Big 10?  Does the system have time to self correct, or will this be yet another flaw in the BCS?