Archive for the ‘Kim Kardashian’ Category

Kim Kardashian Dancing With The Stars Break

September 19, 2008

You’d think that at this point, we’d be getting tired of Kim Kardashian’s ass drapped into some new gear.

But you’d be very wrong.  Dude, maybe it’s just me, but that hook never gets tired.  I mean, in a dress, filling some jeans, up high in some short shorts or down low in some drawls.  I’m sorry ladies, I know she’s a near guarandamnteed gel/silicone abuser.  I know she’s got almost zero personality and I even know that her skills in the sack don’t begin to cash those checks that her ass has been writing.

But it still doesn’t matter.  Angle three please.

I don’t know about that shot.  I mean, really.  Are yall seeing this?  Unbelievable and I don’t know if it’s the best thing ever or the worst.  But those rims look fresh to death.  Anyway, I’m waiting like a mufucker for this season of Dancing With The Stars and it aint because of Warren Sapp, ok?

Well, that’s a lie.  I do want to laugh at Warren, but Kim K in some “buck-ed naked” spandex, slimming down while that tail piece gets fitter, faster, strongerrrrrrrrrrr.

Sheeeeeit.  Even Clay knows that’s the truth.

– Lake

Some Pictures Don’t Require Words

August 6, 2008

But when have you known me to stay quiet?

And yeah, I know I’m late and this picture IS fairly creepy, but Kim K. is Ray Jay/Reggie Bush tested and UvT approved, so she’ll always get positive press on this blog.

Oh yeah, Kimmy K is an attractive Armenian-American…with pretty teeth.

– Lake


This would be way more intriguing if we could just imagine Kim Kardashian was good in bed and gave good head.  Unfortunately (fortunately?) we know both aren’t true.  I mean, I’ve heard both aren’t true.


Say what you want, but Kardashian pics never get old

July 31, 2008

Bumping around the web today and I’m just doing my thing. Yep, there’s Amy Crackhouse’s pops saying she went to the hospital b/c of a ruffie in her drank. Ok, there’s the one Kardashian sister I don’t care about (the one that looks like Chyna). Yep, Nick Hogan is still an asshole and then it hit me. What do you ask? THIS!

“Get sillaaaaaay.” Dude, you’d think after a while that you’d stop being shocked by that Kardashian tail. But I’m here to tell you, it gets me every time. And by the way, those horizontal stripes don’t do much to tone down the thunderous rage she’s got going on trunk side.

Damn. And while we’re talking about it, why do women have to grab up on the J’s when they’re looking in the mirror at the store? Realistically, what are you figuring out when you grip on up? Is it like a dude when he’s got to reposition his junk? I don’t get it, but in the case of Kimmy K, it can only be a good thing.

Hey, cats can hate, but this is a really bad chick. I actually like that dress. Look at me getting sucked in.

And yes, that dress does make your ass look big. This chick being featured daily can’t be good for many relationships out here. Kim is really fucking up the game. I can’t even lie.

– Lake

The Universe is Going Nuts

July 29, 2008

I’ve been away from the game for a second, but I’m starting to believe that everything is just going crazy out here. First off, Britney Spears actually looks good in these bikini shots.

Damn, I thought I was ready for Brit to go away, but looking at these pics brings me back to a better time. Come back Britney, come back.

Maaaayne, that aint the old Brit but it’s damn close. And while I usually think people are bullshittin when they say a bathing suit looks nice (it’s usually what’s in it that looks good) this little selection is doing it for me. It’s a damn shame when you’re actually shocked that a chick look normal.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Jesus! Looks like some unholy cross between Lion-o, skeletor and a great white oak! What the fuck happened to Madonna?

Dammit, that shit just isn’t right. Now I see why her old man left her high and dry. Jeez.

At least her daughter’s face acknowledges how ridiculous she looks. Dammit, have we been getting tricked all these years? Dammit, she actually has that look of Michael Jackson here. Looking all weak and decrepit. Fugly. Now see, now that I’ve experienced all that negativity, I need something to bring me back to center.

Ahhh, that’s better.

– Lake

Kim Kardashian’s Ass(terisk?)

June 9, 2008

Now I’ve been firmly (heh) in the Kim Kardashian’s ass is real camp. Particularly since I saw…ummmm heard…about the way it tucked itself in from the top in that awful sex tape with Ray J. But now I’m shook.

Is that real? Is it fake? I’m about to call in the greatest assologists from all over the world and call an emergency session to make a final ruling based on new evidence. I can’t slap the asterisk on it myself, Lake, can you call it?


For Old Times Sake: Kim Kardashian

May 29, 2008

Sure she hasn’t made a sex tape recently (that we’ve seen…yet), but Kimmy K still wants to let you know she’s got the best tail game in the business.

Still crazy after all these years.

She even drops it low with not a scrap of draws in sight.


Kim Kardashian Has A Website

March 19, 2008

I don’t mind plugging Kim Kardashian’s website (found HERE), I happen to like the girl.


Dude, she claims that she’s all natural. I don’t know if she is, but hot dammit, it sure looks legit. Kimmy K said that she was up in her draws en route to a party at the Playboy Mansion. Hey, less clothes to take off for that grotto one night stand errr next NSFW Playboy shoot.


Oh hell, it’s leather face O’Day from Danity Kane getting her advanced groupie on. I know, I know, Kim and this pussy cat dolls babe are you “girls.” Honestly, Aubrey doesn’t look half bad here. I guess that advice Diddy (and Lake) gave her concerning that one pound top layer of face make-up she regularly rocks had an impact. Aubrey, for the last time. Glamor with all kinds of big hair, 8 layers of make up and enhanced Js doesn’t make you more appealing. It makes you look 34. Just be cool baby and Kim, that side view on that stomach piece is looking suspect. Not sure about that wild clamp you got in your midsection, but lay off the liquor for a week.


Now we’re talking. Aubrey is finally making herself useful. Dude, that tuck on high just never gets old for me. Nor do those linked up Ray J still shots found right HERE.


Anyway, you gotta give Kim love for finding different outfits and different poses to show off that wild tail piece. Hey, people can say it’s fake, but I don’t think so. The public discovered that ass. It’s not like she was known, got the ass and then was upgraded. I say it’s real. Yall stop hatin on Kim’s Nature’s Plus arse piece. Whad it ever do to you? Now them Js…….


Ahh, I’m on the fence. Please note that someone out there has to have this body. I mean, all the parts, even when enhanced, are based on real life chicks. I’ve seen my fair share of physically freakishly amazing bodies. Anyway, I’m with Kim.

– Lake

Lunar Eclipse: Kim Kardashian’s Ass Blocks Out the Moon

February 21, 2008

As astronomers talking about the lunar eclipse last night, this asstronomer had his eyes on another phenomenon.  Kimmy K hit the streets to let cats know she’s still got it, and can still get it.  So I’m gonna go back to our roots and give the people what they want.

First let’s take a look at the full on backshot.


Look people, she is just walking and the crease of her ass completely folded and tucked that dress up under.  If she learned how to clap her booty cheeks together, her ass might be able to fold the dress completely and put it back in the closet for her.

How about the baddest side profile in the business? (Biel makes a good run at it too)


The slope on that thang is crazy.  She’s giving it some extra arch in the back too.  Help me please!

Now what about when she gets that ass cocked?  No, not like that…although we’ve seen that already.  I mean when she cocks that ass to the side…damn we’ve seen that already too.  Intern!  Run my pic!


This gives you the real feel.  That waist stays tight while the tail really blows up.  Kim Kardashian, you are on the verge of the Us Versus Them hall of fame.  Just slip Lake that Aubrey O’Day Sex Tape and you will be a lock for a unanimous vote.


I Wonder It OJ’s Bronco Could’ve Done This…

February 5, 2008

I know OJ Simpson is famous for the slow speed chase, but Al Cowlings may still be driving right now if Al had skills like this:

My man must of been a professional stunt driver with skills like that. When the cops finally tracked him down they were serious though. I don’t know about those bump moves the cops were going with, it looked like they were trying to kill my man a few times there.

Speaking of OJ Simpson, his lawyer was Robert Kardashian. And of course Robert Kardashian’s daughter is…


…our girl Kimmy K. Kim Kardashian hasn’t been around in a while. I couldn’t resist.  That was a cheap ass segue though.  That tailpiece is still bananas.


We need a congressional hearing on butt implants

January 28, 2008

Forget steroids, what we really need to find out is are these asses really what they proclaim to be. Like many of us, I’ve heard the stories about the butt pads the haters say Kim K rocks. But now this controversy is really heating up. I can’t lie, you really have to wonder how asses are getting so fat while stomachs and getting smoother and smoother. On the real, if it looks too good to be real, it probably isn’t real and now cats are actually coming for these video chick’s asses, literally. Peep Angel Lola Luv’s posterior game…


Unbelievable right? Yeah, but is it really unbelievable? Airbrush aside, you don’t go from Weaver’s chicken strip thighs, to an abrupt bowling ball tail like that. I mean, seriously, have you ever seen ANYTHING like that in nature? Me neither. And maybe here’s why:


I can’t lie, something really doesn’t look right. That little under ripple looks more like the ends of my air mattress than something the good lawd brought to us. Who knows, maybe the enhanced tail piece will be as common and accepted as the enhanced J. I mean, I just assume Lola’s breasts are fake, but I really don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not a fan of the fake J for personal use, but what do I care if it’s in a picture?


I don’t. Anyway, we’ve officially put Lola and Coco on fake ass watch. With Coco the evidence seems pretty strong, though you can never really know in the photoshop era. Still here’s the before:


Let’s get another angle.


And clearly here’s the after:


Here transformation makes Barry Bonds’ look like a junior high growth spurt. I just want these chicks to show up to congress, pull a Raffy Palmeiro and say:

“I have never, pulled back the skin on my ass and laid another coat of thickness down over top my tail feather. I don’t know how to say it more plainly than that. Never. The reference to my enhanced back on Mr. Arlington’s blog is completely false. ”

Uh huh.. To be continued….

– Lake