Archive for the ‘Tony Parker’ Category

No seriously, Tony Parker thinks he can rap!!!

August 3, 2007

Look, when I introduced you guys to that Tony Parker (yes THAT Tony Parker) hip hop song Premier Love, I don’t know. I mean, I knew it was real and all, but I still couldn’t quite bring myself to understand how much this cat really believed he could rap. This joint with Fabolous (yes that Fabolous, the previously respected hip hop artist) is evidence that I was just naive and again, call me ignant, but there is just something about the French language and rap that just don’t quite sit well with me.

Sorry, but even those kids in that video look soft and corny as hell. And Tony’s square jaw and soap star looks just don’t work with the genre. I mean, on the real, I hoped my man Tony was just going through a phase, you know, trading off of his American stardom to a bunch of people who didn’t really know better. After all, if Yannick Noah is a big pop star over there, the bar can’t be set that high, right?
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(Ok, I gotta kind of admit that Joakim’s pops is kind of pimp)

But dude, Tony, just because you CAN do something that does not mean it is to be done! Please, stop this nonsense now. Go home and work with all of this:

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(oh yes, Eva Longoria is indeed fine, especially for a chick in her mid-30’s)

And when you’re done with her, go holler at that standard issue mistress you and every other powerful or looted man in France has and when you’re done with her, take up bass fishing or something, ANYTHING, but please STOP RAPPING. It’s embarrassing man, truly and we all know these rowdy cats out in the Paris suburbs (huh?) don’t need any more reason to start lighting Peugeots on fire. Rap is not something that yall need to add.
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In short, keep your mind on your game and your eye on your lady.. I aint gone tell you again, ya hear?

– Les Lake

Tony Parker rapping…’homme noir’ please!!!

July 17, 2007

Check out our update to this topic HERE!

Tony Parker has bagged one of the most sought after babes in Hollywood in Eva Longoria. He’s won two NBA titles and even a Finals MVP, so why in the hell is he doing this?

Tony, you’ve got a crazy first step, great handles and a killer chick, hell, even your jumper has improved. But the only thing gayer (if you will) than slow, love story rap (no thanks Bow Wow, LL), is slow, lovey dovey FRENCH rap. Ok? Leave the rapping to TI (Big thangs poppin is really hot by the way), the thug passion to R. Kelly and the soft talk, love making in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower to Pepe Le Pew.. Thanks.

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…and Au revoir bitches

– Monsieur Lake