You gotta hand it to those Republicans. They said they wanted a buzz and dammit, they got their buzz.
This Sarah Palin shit is about as good as it gets. Her selection by McSame W. Bush was met with confusion.
Hell, most of the Republicans I know thought she didn’t have the qualifications to be a Vice Presidential Candidate. See, they didn’t have their little sound bytes and talking points ready defend Palin beyond pointing out that she likes guns, moose burgers and Amurica.
So when the revelations of how her ineffective policy positions were biting her own family in the ass, you knew it would take them a day or so to figure out how to spin it. And just like we all knew they would, the Republicans have used some more of their twisted logic to actually spin this Bristol Palin is Pregnant into a positive pro life position that has turned into “Sarah Palin is a HERO!” A Hero? Is that what you call a mother who preaches responsibility to your child, but can’t control her own? Is that what you call someone who tells us just to tell your kids “just say no to dack and cat” but who can’t stop her daughter from throwing so much tail that her friends thought she was pregnant not once, but TWICE?! Really, are these the actions of a capable “Pro Life” candidate? I didn’t know getting your freak on in an Igloo with some Captain Morgan in your cup and weed in your lungs was an expression of “Pro Life” values, but you’ve definitely got my attention now that I’ve heard that it could be. Peep Bristol’s myspace act.
haaaa, I know, I know, it’s just one picture, right? Hmmm, let’s see if Bristol gets her drink on as much as she gets her spank on.
Oh yeah, wait, is that Genesse Beer?
LOL. Let me just say that if you take this many pictures in front of liquor and they’ve found their way onto the internet, you aren’t too worried about Governor Mommy Amurica finding out that you sip the sizzurp. But that’s family values right? Of course it is. And enough about this dude Levi and his plans to marry Bristol just because he put one on goal. I mean, look at the cat.
He looks like Adam Morrison’s Mini Me.
And yes, that is Bristol Palin strapped up with not one, but two gats. Trench Coat Mafia move over. What the fuck? What, they have sex, get their drink on and then do a drive by? Oh, I know, this isn’t that kind of gun totting, this is wholesome teenage “extra circular” activity, right? They’re sportsman enjoying the great outdoors by killing whatever they see. I get it. And I’m loving those jeans young Levi has on, too. Very stylish. Hey Levi, why not start by getting yourself, well, some Levis! On Levi Johnston’s myspace page, he described himself as “a fucking redneck” and judging from this pic, I believe him. I just want to know since when have “fucking rednecks” rocked fat laces and an Adam Morrison wig/hat combo?
I know Levi, I’m just an asshole, believe me, you’ll get used to it. Hey, I’m starting to like these Republicans and their version of “family values.” Best I can tell, you can do anything you want as long as you say you’re Anti-Abortion and Anti-Gay marriage and it’s just all good. But just let me get this Republican values system straight. When I bang chicks out raw dog, which really is the best way, that’s Pro Life. But when I responsibly strapped up with a condom thereby avoiding an unwanted preggers, that’s not in accord with “Amurica’s core values”? Well shit, where do I sign up? I love the Republicans. They definitely let me know there’s a place for my philandering ass in that “big tent” they have over there. I even saw John McSame As Bush getting Republican Jiggy with some Pro Life Honeys.
I’m with it.