Archive for the ‘Greg Oden’ Category

Oden Has Bad Knees? He Really Is An Old Man!

September 14, 2007

I know Greg looks like he is old enough to have marched with Martin Luther the Kang, but he is supposedly only 19 years old (born in ’88? That’s CRAZY!) But now there is evidence he really may be an old man. The #1 Draft Pick Greg Oden just got faded for the entire season with bad knees, and according to the big man’s blog, it seems like he didn’t know it was coming.

“We went to the doctor’s the next day to get a MRI and that night me and my mom ended up in the doctor’s office being told that I have to get surgery. It’s a light one, just a scoop, but still it’s just another setback.”


(Stop wearing those slidin’ flip-flops with socks and get some proper man shoes…that might help.)

I actually feel bad for the dude. He thinks it is “one little scoop”, and it ends up that he had a microfracture and unless he comes back hard like Amare, he’s got an uphill battle. He’s young, resilient, and sure to bounce back, but that can’t like that news in Portland.

Now is this an argument for or against bouncing to the league early? Would he have had less intensive training getting ready for sophomore year at Ohio State, or did NBA prep on a young body do him in?

Either way, he’s still gonna get paid.


Don’t Stop. Git it , git it.

Now with Oden out, does that mean late second rounder Josh McRoberts gets the job?


Hell no. JJ, what do you think about fellow Dukie Josh’s chances of starting?


Yeah, me too.


By the way…with the microfracture. Do you still take Oden over Durant?

Greg Oden Blogs?!?!?

June 14, 2007

I was over in the UvT Sports department doing the back up research for my visionary article last week that the Cavs were goners (my research is on my the hell I thought it would be five games, the Spurs should be breaking out the brooms tomorrow) and I come across this: The big man blogs? Seriously?

So I went to the site to see the worldly insights of an 18 year old that is about to make that long money and lo and behold, here is the latest entry.

“When you ask someone about it, the first name that pops in their minds is not Greg Oden, Michael Conley Jr., or Eric Gordon. It’s JOSH MCROBERTS, one of my favorite people in the world. He is one of the funniest people I have met, and the one person in high school basketball that I dreaded playing, because I had to guard him and he is a monster. He uses both hands on the court. That gives him an edge on everybody else.”


Josh McF’nRoberts? Look we here at Us Versus Them do nothing if we don’t play favorites, thick white women, democrats, Atlanta Falcons football, any team that beats Notre Dame in football (also known as any team in the Top 15 at the time of kickoff), thick black women, the Jessica’s (Biel and Alba), and last but not least Duke Basketball. Now I’ve seen a lot of Duke basketball, and a lot of Josh McRoberts, but Greg Oden dreading to play him? Maybe in high school Josh had a JJ Reddick like shooter dropping threes from all over the court and a mini-landlord senior like Shelden Williams playing down low so that Josh’s B.S. dribble-dribble, spin-move, spin back for the up and under barely jump move that he goes to every time down the court actually worked like it did his freshman year at Duke. I mean there has to be a reason Greg limits his complement to “high school”.

Big fella, when are you gonna open your hands and see the facts…you don’t need to dread a guy who is going to get drafted damn near a round behind you. You need to watch out for Rasheed Wallace dropping bows on you and Shaq’s big ass hitting you with that extra 100 pounds he’s got on you on the blocks. You want to talk about a Dukie you need to watch out for, try playing Elton Brand 4 or 5 times next year to see how you like that 20 and 10 he is going to drop on you personally. I mean are you dreading going up against Shavlik Randolph? Same guy….really…let it go.


West Siiiieeede?

May 23, 2007

The NBA Draft Lottery occurred tonight with one of the biggest thuds you’ll ever hear or see. Pick #1 goes to Portland(whooopeee!!!), while Pick #2 goes to Seattle? We didn’t get it and neither did either of these cats who upon hearing the news had these facial expressions respectively:


Pan Oden and Kevin Durant must be wondering whether they made the right decisions to come out.

Where would you rather be? In Columbus Ohio getting paid by those corrupt Ohio State boosters with all the sponsored tail a guy could want?


Case in point.

Or in Portland — land of the Chronic, sheep, timber and just about the most cultured and cosmopolitan white folks you’ll ever find?


Edge, Columbus. Better toes, more hizzoes and far more notoriety. Playing in Portland is like being shipped off to Siberia. Sure you’re getting paid, but Greg was already getting paid in Columbus! Come on, you know he was….

And things are no better (ok, they are a littlebetter) for Kevin Durant who’ll undoubtedly end up in Seattle… Hey Kev, not sure what you’re into, but newsflash there are Noooooo brothers in Seattle and worst yet, noooo sisters. Tough break bro. You’re probably too young but I watched Real World Seattle so I’m like an expert. The place is a debacle for a brother. Stephen, the Real Worlder who got that limp wrist-ed slapperin on that white chick; heard he looked and acted like BA Baracus before going to Seattle.


Next thing we know, dude is stealing vehicles and selling arse in the filthy LA streets. It’s not a good look for you. Beware playa..

And yes, the sound you just heard is some Beantown cat jumping off that Mass Ave. bridge to certain life long injury (the good Lawd won’t even allow him death). Yep, the Celtics somehow managed to mess this thing up. They’re picking 5th, just in time to grab a Can Miss type player. Awful.

Toss up: Who’s uglier, Oden or the Faun from Pan’s Labyrinth?

May 22, 2007

Come on ladies, not even the millions…and millions of $$$ can justify this grill piece


“Got something for your face, f*ck Pro-activ..” Dude, I think Greg Oden took that lovely Cam’ron line a little too literally. This cat looks like half mang, half tree trunk.. And the dude said he wanted to be a dentist? Goodness… Thank God for the NBA.. This aint the kind of brother you want walking around the streets out of work. You can see below the boy aint got no fashion sense. Forget an upgrade, he needs him a silky headed ho inspired makeover… Extreme Makeover at that. Yikes.


And watch the extra lean there Gregory.. We wouldn’t mind seeing you with a silky headed, but please, make it a woman. You’re too big to be violating Rule No. 1.