Crank That Soulja Boy Jumps the Shark

I said I wasn’t going to do this, but uhhhh, this joint is crazy:

I still wasn’t going to do it until I realized the chorus is “Jewwwwwww! Crank that Kosha Boy” Spin the dreidle watch it rooooolllllll.

I’ve seen this before. Right when Katie Couric said “Bling Bling” on the Today show. Ellen DeGeneres cranked that Soulja Boy with Jordin Sparks when the camera panned to an old lady in a wheelchair in the audience Supermanning that Ho. It’s officially over.

-Brock

Soulja Boy Dance: Last One I Promise.

This was just too good to pass up:

Now if I remember the Soulja Boy Instructional Videoproperly, you’re suppose to crank it back three times then yuuuuueeeeee to the left first.  If she did it right, she could have avoided the whole thing.  Ha!

-Brock

When a Little Bit Terrible is Just Right

A few days ago, in his Kanye post, Lake mentioned Kanye and Mos Def’s effort “Drunk and Hot Girls” as not going far enough, or going way to far. In fact, Mos Def errrr Black Jack Johnson has been really good at going to far lately with his rock band, and barely selling albums. There is a fine line between a good and funny parody and going waaay to far. You cross that line and you end up in the land of terrible. Just like Kanye’s leather jacket, bow tie combo. Anyway, apparently Soulja Boy Tell Em must be a great inspiration for getting people just to the right point of hilarious. Check this dance to “I got me some Bapes”

Oh man, that is great. I mean don’t get me wrong, it is bad…but it is perfectly bad. They aren’t trying so hard that it is corny and they aren’t so bad it is unbearable. Here’s an example of the same thing going to far:

WTF? First the cat tries to act all gangster, then tightens (literally) right up into first position, or a plie’, or some ol’ cat sh*t. Terrible from top to bottom. From that extra loose wife beater and those pajama pants, to his boy who is all ballet and no gangster, to that wild choreographed dance.

More examples:

Andre 3000 usually keeps it hot.

I mean I wouldn’t wear it, but he pulled it together.

Then he decided to throw on the Croatian national flag scarf, the Pocahontas boots, and the Navajo blanket with the stunna shades…and yes the hat has ear flaps. Too far, and working too hard.

Kanye:

The shirt is aggressive, that belt is probably worse than you can tell, but it comes together great.

Then he goes three buttons too far, adds racing gloves and gold chains with his gold watches and pairs it up with the gold stunnas and takes the journey into ridiculousness. He even admitted on his last album that this was too much (“I know my tuxedo was a little too guido”).

White Girls Dancing:

Working with something…

she had nothing to shake, but she is working hard.

This chick goes too hard…

That’s just funny.

Black Eyed Peas

just pick one. it’s not blissfully ironic, it’s just horribly wack.

-Brock

How To Crank That Soulja Boy

You already know UvT is down with Soulja Boy. Nothing gets me more hype right now than hearing that yuuuuuuuuuueee hit right before that Soulja Boy beat drops.

While I can Crank That with the best of them, Soulja Boy wanted to make sure that everyone know exactly how to get it tight. So he uploaded the youuuuuuu tube video to the internet.

The funny thing is that cat is coming with the full Laurie Ann step by step process. But instead of counting it out on the fours, he just sings his own song to himself under his breath. “The first steahp, is cross yo legs like dis righ heah…yuuuuee.” What? Why do two of those background cats have backpacks on? Is that soulja boy written on his glasses in white out?

You know the only problem? When you give everyone access, you end up with this:

Oh man, that is great. Who the hell is little Ben Stiller with the floppy right foot? Are his feet too heavy for his body? He is clearly the ring leader of that little operation. Then they break out the solo supermang, that robo cop, and the fake guns on the “cockin’ on you b*tch azz” line made famous in this video. (those brothas are really rockin’ it though) These white boys need to get their Superman a little tighter, that little wave ain’t gonna get it. I’d also personally like to see a little more personal space in between those cats. But hey to each their own.

I could watch that all day.

-Brock