Archive for the ‘Ne-Yo’ Category

Add Ne-Yo to the List of Dudes Who Need a Hat

July 29, 2008

I don’t know what it is, but some cats just need that hat for everything to lay in there just right. Of course we’ve got LL, that dude ALWAYS rocks a lid.

Incidentally, is it just me or does LL’s jaw and head combo piece look like a cross between Rumer Willis, Barry Bonds and the bow of a wild battleship?

Then you’ve got Ollie from Big Brother 10:

It’s clear that Ollie from Big Brother 10 keeps that lid on super tizzight at all times.

Incidentally, has anyone ever gotten more ass than Ollie is getting in the Big Brother house? Don’t believe me, just peep it. He’s murdering April. Good shit. That still doesn’t explain why he continues to rock those hats though. Could it be because of that forced baldy striking again? What’s a force baldy you ask? It’s when a dude rocks the bald hair style, not because it looks good on him but out of pure necessity. Hence, the forced baldy which puts him right back in the game since a number of dudes actually opt for baldy hairstyle by choice. Anyway, the problem with the forced baldy for some dudes is that they don’t have the head to carry it. Which brings us to the aforementioned “never seen without a hat” cats Ollie and LL. I suspect they’ve got that forced baldy gone bad issue and if you want to see that up close, peep Ne-Yo.

Not right. Which is why you always see him like this:

It’s tough. If a cat doesn’t have the dome to rock that full baldy once the hairline retreats for the hills, then I guess you just gotta always go with the lid piece.

Yeah, I appreciate the effort, but this cat might want to keep that head piece strapped up.

– Lake

Is it Just Me or Does Tyler Perry Have Gay Face?

May 14, 2008

I mean, I don’t consume ANY of Tyler Perry’s media. I’ve never been interested in Madea’s European Vacation or whatever wacky scenario Perry has her in now and I’ve never watched Tyler Perry’s House of Payne. I have, however, seen him on those TNT commercials for the show while I’ve been watching the NBA Playoffs. Anyway, that’s when I started noticing it. It’s just the way he’s looking at me. I mean, I can just feel it, then he speaks and it’s all wrong….

And then the commercial comes on like 5 times each game, so there’s no escaping it. No, Tyler will not be ignored. It’s pretty crazy. And call me what you like, but the fact that homey is known for impersonating a large woman in drag, duddent help matters either.

SMH. Snow see that jaw piece is waaay too skrong and that smile is a liiiil bit too comfortable.

Don’t ask me why, it’s just never been my thing, never liked it. I didn’t think Wanda with Jaime Foxx was funny. I didn’t much care for Sheneneh with Martin. I mean, I just don’t like that shit. It just aint right, at least not for me. And bottom line, something in this boy’s eye lets me know that he aint right, either.

See what I’m saying? The boy aint right in the EYE!!! My understanding, thanks to some ladies I know with gay guy friends, is that dude has “Gay Face”. What is Gay Face?

That is Gay Face.

That is Gay Face. And oddly enough, oh yes:

Datz GAY FACE(s) too!!!!!!!!!

Well, you know what it is. It’s just that little something about a dude’s face, expression, I don’t know… something that let’s you know that he may be driving off from the ladies tees, swanging from the other side of the plate or helping his boys over the fence.

And taking into account his Gay Face, then reading my man’s wikipedia profile, I’m not so sure which squad homey is on. First off, they talk about his “daddy issues”, which by itself isn’t a big deal, but we know what that could mean and yes “abuse” was discussed. Then they talk about how homey has been suspected of being gay for a minute and that he had been relatively “mummm” about the topic. Ok. THEN homey came out with the oh so classic “I’m heterosexual because I’m a Christian” rhetoric. Oh, is how it works?

At any rate, I asked my good friend Chris Rock what he thought about Tyler Perry’s masculinity and this is what he had to say:

Right, he’s not sure either.

– Lake

Joke’s on You

October 18, 2007

You ever told a joke that wasn’t funny?  Well celebrities get so popular that they think they are being funny in public, when in reality they are just killing themselves.

For example:


I get it Ne-Yo, you are making the “funny gangster” face because you know that dude you have gripped up is terrible.  Still no reason to have your photo taken in that position.  Those Pocahontas boots and that fromage de cottage going on back on that back leg are terrible.



I’m sure this sounded great on paper at 3am after a few shots of Patron.  But there had to be a moment..I’m thinking somewhere between when Jamie put on those tight red pants and looked across at that feather in his hat, that it didn’t seem so hot anymore.

Then there is everything this dude did since Jerry Maguire:


Dammit Cuba, you were legit back in Boyz n the Hood.  What happened?

Leave funny to the pros fellas.