They say they guy who knocked Suge out was 5’10” 175. Well here he is.
You can’t tell his height from the picture, but he sure doesn’t look 175. I still can’t believe this cat got the jump on Suge.
Damn, Suge looks like a hard m’fer until you punch his ass. The interns at UvT found the real reason Suge stayed down.
A whale tail surfaced right as he hit the ground. Seriously, what is that draws situation all about. I’ve heard that the biggest complaint about the thong is that it rides up your ass. Why get the extra big thong piece? Can one of the ladies of UvT explain that to me?
Now you can tell from those crazy ass eyes that this is going to be good…
This is the craziest, greatest, most delusional, then just plain crazy again video I’ve seen in a long, long time. Now this is waaaaay longer than any video I’d actually ask you to watch in it’s entirety. It is six minutes long but there are so many gems in here that it is hard to skip around. I had to take notes just to keep up with this crazy chick.
Oh god, where do I start?
Let’s start with Tricia and her husband Phil. I think visually we all know what is going on here. Phil went on ahead and flipped his $60 Million into a relatively young and apparently semi-famous UK actress/tenderoni.
That tells us that this transaction…errrrrrr…marriage was about loot from the start. Tricia likes to keep it comfortable.
Second, let’s talk about the production value on this thing, full on title card, the camera crew had lighting (that they couldn’t keep out of the frame) and the subtitles are great “Tricia Walsh-Smith Actress/Writer/Good Egg” just let’s you know that this is a high-lo situation from the start. High in that you have an editor…lo in that someone actually thinks that describing yourself as a “good egg” is the best way to convey that Trish here is in the right. That must be some British shit right there.
I love the way people in New York call their fully-owned, multi-million dollar, nine room homes “apartments”. The rest of America calls those “condos”, an apartment is something you rent and it is counted by the number of bedrooms you get. But I digress.
Let’s talk about the strength of the prenup.
Whoo-weeeee, talk about contracting straight to the point. Phil had a “get the fuck out right now” clause built into his prenuptual agreement. Thirty days notice. You can’t even get out of a cell phone contract that fast. No holdover, no transition, all he needs is a reason for divorce. Dinner with another man? Get the fuck out. Personal Trainer “spotting” you for your lunges? Get the fuck out. Accidentally deposit my money into the “wrong” account? Get the fuck out. Post all of my business on YouTube? Get…the…fuck…out.
Well Trish knows the clauses of the contract pretty tight. She gets a “pension” of half a milly a year for the rest of her life and the Florida “Apartment”, which from the looks of the NY “apartment” is probably a four story, beachfront mansion with panoramic views. It actually looks like the whole fight was over whether or not the Park Avenue apartment also kicks over into her pocket when the guy dies. OK, so she said she doesn’t understand Phillip’s (sounds like Flip’s when she says it) grounds for divorce? Let me tell you, If my wife, who I’ve already contractually promises 500k a year and a paid for home in Florida if I kick the bucket comes up to me and starts talking about other shit she might want when I die? I might divorce her ass too. First of all, let’s stop talking about when I die young whipper-snapper. Second of all, if you refer to Section 12, Paragraph C…that’s my shit. Mmmmmk?
By the way, if the woman you want to marry refers to the Tarot as “my cards”, run the other way. (Much respect to my N.O. peoples and the Hatians…but Phil shoulda taken one look into those crazy eyes and that pack of tarot cards and gone elsewhere. Also, why the hell do you marry a younger chick if you aren’t going to have sex with her. Get yourself a old lady that can provide companionship, not some young crazy golddigging ex-actress.
So then old girl goes for the crazy call that wasn’t all that crazy. This whole thing is starting to look staged to me. Sure, anyone can call my secretary and talk about my porn, my viagra and my condoms, but who really cares? You best believe Brock’s secretary wouldn’t be interrupting my conference call to ask me where to put my condoms and porn. The answer would just be “in my nightstand next to my videotapes of you butt naked and your vibrator.
The subtitles on the picture are absolutely priceless, the “nasty evil stepdaughter”.
Tricia then spends the last two minutes talking about the plays that she’s written and her flagging acting career. That is why this whole thing looks like B.S. to me. It plays out just like a bad writer put it together and it is being acted out by a bad actress.
If I was Phil I wouldn’t have let myself become a “drama in real life”, but hey, it looks like ol’ girl needs to find new ways to earn money so she can stop trying to kill me off.
Fellas, do you want to know a foolproof way to avoid this situation? Stay aways from chicks with crazy eyes. You see Tricia Walsh Smith up top. Here’s the crazy ass Runaway Bride.
Shoulda known.
Not that you need to be told, but stay away from Hottie from Flavor Of Love too.
We need to talk. I know you like kicking it with the brothers. I know you’ve grown to like fat asses, appreciate the thick white woman, and enjoy the hip-hop music. This is important. We’ve got more than 2.5 Million hits, you are a role model now. But I’m not talking about the loyal UvT readers. I’m talking about your little sister…Jane Arlington.
When was the last time you saw Jane? Have you ever met ‘yo girl’ Lil’ J? I didn’t think so. Here was her message to a schoolyard rival:
Lake, I’ve got something to share with you. You’re cool, it’s all good with me. But putting on her ‘black’ voice and talking all this shit is bound to get your little sister’s ass whooped! It is time for an intervention. Take her webcam, shut down her myspace page, and turn on some Friends reruns, or Seinfeld, something…damn. Thanks.
Now see, Roger Clemens probably should have slowed his roll when he tricked Brian MacNamee with that tape recording, only to play it at a press conference. You might not want to fuck with a cat like that when he’s got dirt on you AND your wife, Debbie Clemens, who MacNamee claims he shot up in the ass with HGH before this Sports Illustrated photoshoot.
Come on. I mean, is anyone shocked that the Rocket and his wife are both juicers? Hey, at least now we understand what that dropped call was really about.
“Hey honey, pick me up a loaf of Sourdough, some feminine wash and a couple cc’s of Brian’s best HGH, I’ve got a butt naked Sports Illustrated shoot and I must look my best.”
Look, I don’t care what anybody says, a grown ass woman of 42 with 4 monster sons ranging in age from 13 to 20 should not have abs like Chyna from the WWE.
Hell, even Chyna shouldn’t have abs like Chyna. WTF? Does anyone have a doubt that this is all true? It’s not like this guy is telling this stuff to a few or the fellas over some hippie lettuce in a back room, he’s telling this to United State Congressmen!!!!
Hmm, fake hair color, check, fake tan, check, fake boobs, chizzeck, fake ass husband, check, hey, why not just fake it all. FAKE BODY DUE TO MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF ROIDS AND HGH….CHECK! Like Chris Rock said, everything about you is a lie. Hilarious stuff, I can’t wait for Wednesday for that public hearing….talk about Tivo worthy…Jeez.
Damn, now see, this is getting ugly. Forget the gloves coming off, these cats are at each other with knives and we aren’t even close to a conclusion. What more could go wrong for ole Rocket? Nobody believes him as is.. I mean, what’s next? Is Andy Pettitte going to produce that Rocket and Debbie Clemens sex tape with Mariano Rivera ahem, coming in for relief? Argh.. sordid man. I feel dirty.
Damn, he looks happy now, but you know this isn’t gonna work out, right? Everybody has a boy like Eddie. You know, a cat that just can’t get along without a girl on his arm. Eddie just takes it further than the rest. I mean, check this timeline. Eddie just got divorced in April of 2006 after sixteen years and four kids from his wife Nicole.
Now Nicole always had body, especially after four kids, and I know she was supposedly some kind of a model, but that grill-piece was always kinda suspect to me. She’s all angles. Right now, the angle she’s working is juicing Eddie for alimony and child support while kicking it with Michael “good for getting jacked for his loot” Strahan.
So Eddie gets the divorce finalized and gets married to Tracey a year and a half later. All by itself that is a little aggressive. Let’s not forget this little fact though.
I see you Ed-diiiiiieeee. Nice one. Yeah, somewhere in the last year and a half Eddie got with, impregnated, broke up with, had a baby with, said “It wadden’t me”, failed a paternity test (unlike this guy), and ignored Mel B and his child. Eddie must have that Holyfield level fertility.
So let’s get the math right. Eddie has to cover Nicole and the four kids. Mel B is sure to get some child support any day now, and now he is married to Tracey…who has two kids from Babyface.
I wonder if she left him over that shirt. If she didn’t, she should have. Let’s not forget that Babyface cheated on Tracey back in the day and had to write “Never Keeping Secrets” to get her back. Hot make up song though.
Back to Eddie. Homey, how are you going to support all of these people?
Damn man, I don’t know either. That questionable look in Eddie’s eye reminds me, Eddie has had some issues in his past. You can definitely get a line on his type of woman. Nicole, Mel, Tracey…all light skinned, tall, stay in the limelight and around famous men. I see your game Eddie. But there are a few others:
Michael Jackson has tall and light skinned covered. Hmmmmmmm. This picture is my evidence that something ain’t right. Let me tell you something, if Jacko ever got that close to me…that cat is getting straight punched in the chin implant. Then there is this:
That young lady…errrrrrrrr…dude is the tranny that Eddie just wanted to give a ride out of West Hollywood a few years ago. Let me get my checklist:
Light skinned: check
Tall: check
Like rich, famous people: got with Eddie – check.
Yeah, Eddie was trying to give her a ride all right.
So Tracey, a piece of advice. Don’t go anywhere close to Eddie’s junk unless you are ready to join Halle Berry, Christina Aguilera, and Jessica Alba in pregnancy. When Eddie starts trippin’ in 2013, take it from Umfufu. Get your half.
I mean, the bottom line is that you’ve got cats who are interpretational, artistic and sensitive crooning with cornrows, wife beaters and an ice grill on their face. I mean, if these cats weren’t doing R&B, they’d probably be doing ballet, interior design or something. Well, here’s the proof. This cat Raz B from B2K is officially putting all these cats and “how they get down” on blast.
Look, there have been rumors that ALL these cats were gay for years. That includes all the fools from Immature (which includes Marques Houston, all these managers (Chris Stokes and company) and all these B2K (Raz B, Omarion, Ricky Romance etc.) cats.
Can someone explain this picture to me? Yes, that’s Marques Houston, that one eyed fool and that other random cat from Immature shirtless, in bed together with the collective Zoolander expression…Crazy. And what’s even wilder is this video about the whole culture of Chris Stokes sponsored gay wildness.
Ummm, anyway, in this video, Raz B alleges that his cousin and manager Chris Stokes, Marques Houston, and all the rest of those infinitely suspect cats were involved in some “let me touch it” (4:10 mark). Note that he said, “It all started with Chris Stokes.” Then there’s something about “the guys,” which I can only assume are the members of the group, being asked to “take showers together.” YIKES!
Ahem. This cat’s name is “Ricky Romance” and he’s wondering how he got caught up in some gay shit? Lordy… I also find it interesting how this dude is saying “I’m not bitter and I’m not trying to get even” but meanwhile, homey has all of this on speaker phone, up on youtube!!! Damn.
(That’s Stokes on the left)
And why is it that whenever somebody gets on some ole gay shit, the next thing that comes out of his mouth is some Bible verse and a reference to their newborn child? Arrrrggggh. Look, I’m in no way trying to minimize or belittle the trauma that must be associated with sexual assault, but don’t talk about “seeing God” and then backing that up with “I’ve been speaking in tongues since I was 11 years old” around a discussion of sex acts with your manager/cousin!
You know what, this is all a bit too wild for me. Makes you wonder what Omarion was really thinking about in this shot.
I generally don’t like to disgust people, but this was one of the biggest WTF moments I’ve ever had. Apparently some 18 year old chick coughed up the giant hairball pictured below.
That’s a 10 pounder right there. Old girl had a habit of eating her hair, and at some point it stopped passing through her system. It backed up to the point where she had constant stomach pain and had lost 40 pounds. That thing is 15 inches long and 7 inches wide and deep. How was there even that much space in this chicks stomach?
The really crazy thing, is thinking about how much hair she had to lose or pull out to get to this point, I mean I know rastas that don’t have that much hair on their head. Did she harvest it from friends? Is she the only person in the world that is happy when she sees a hair in her food? Was she licking cats?
Apparently she has recovered after the surgery, but after this, I’m expecting chicks to start eating hair as the new weight-loss technique. Wig watchers, Weavy Craig. They should be cropping up any minute now.
The soon to be Mrs. O’Neal has plenty to be thankful for this year.
Shaunie O’Neal’s purported assets were revealed as a result of a court filing on Wednesday. And what did little mama claim she had? After merely five years of marriage and seemingly 5-18 kids she says she’s got:
$450,000 in cash and stocks as assets.
The couple’s $25 million Star Island home in Miami Beach
An L.A. Condo
A $3.95 million home in Orlando An additional Condo in Miami
Several businesses valued at $250,000
Liberty Grill, a Los Angeles eatery valued at $250,000
For the rest of this post, just envision Kanye’s “Gold Digger” playing. Ahem, anyway, she’s supposed to have $30 million in total assets.
I know big fella, I know. I guess there is a reason to allow a real life sasquatch to bang you out and endure the birth of pound infants for the better part of 7 years (they had a few before they got married). Forget the $30 mil, Shaunie deserves a Purple Heart for letting this dude murk.
Scary.
Oh but she got hers and that’s before the divorce goes through. Now I read that Shaq had an airtight prenuptial agreement per Eddie Murphy and Kanye West’s advice.
If that’s so, how in the hell could Shaunie claim that $25 million crib on Star Island as her own? That can’t be right. At best she gets half of that joint, which is still a good pay day for a baby maker who is allegedly getting her body “back in shape” by getting hammered by her Cuban trainer. How many pesos does $30 make? How many times did she use that other Miami condo, the one Shaq reportedly didn’t know about, to get her “Livin La Vida Loca” on with ole Telemundo?
Men, don’t let your women go out to dance that Salsa alone and if you’ve got Shaq stacks, just go ahead and put a private investigator on your wife at all times.
I would say Shaq is getting screwed, but when you consider how Strahan took it up the arse, got his shit sold out in front of his mansion and then was accused of being gay by his wife, $30 million is getting off easy for the Big Aristotle…
We usually cover national news, but sometimes regular people do things that are just too good to pass up. So Us Versus Them fan MRod, owner of this blog was apparently out Saturday night when he got faded on Red Bull and Vodka. When I say he got faded, I mean he got fuuuucked up. He has no idea what happened that night, but he apparently did a little self evaluation and decided it was time to call 911.
Here’s the best thing about that…How can you be so drunk that you think calling 911 from a cab is a good idea, yet still have enough control of yourself that you know that you are supposed to call 911 when there is a problem? What happened dog?
You want to know the best part? Remember how I said he blacked out and didn’t remember anything? Peep what he missed:
He was at the buck naked chick, take your shirt off and paint your boobs party?!?!? And he doesn’t remember a thing? I mean neither of the chicks in those pics are UvT quality, but a free peek is a free peek. Actually, the girl up top has that look in her eye that Lake can’t pass up. Ha!
It’s all good MRod, lay off those dranks and maybe next time you’ll have one of the buck naked chicks take you home so they can evaluate your medical condition next time. Oh, and if you ever get invited to one of those parties again, holla at cha boy!
Us Versus Them 
