Matt Leinart is Hilarious

There aint much to say about Matt Leinart. I really shouldn’t even post this mess because it’s already all over the internet, but I just have to.

What the hell is wrong with this cat? Is he serious? Matt really is THAT cat who will just never grow up, never get it. Dude gets dissed for not being committed, not being in shape (which is a complete FACT) and just being irresponsible.

So how does he answer to those charges? Riiight, by kicking it with some young chicks from Arizona State?

This cat is playing drinking games with little girls? Matt, you’re in the NFL, you should be getting your swerve on with Client 9 level hoes. Not only that, but it’s not like you don’t already have a kid.

Remember when your old chick tried to take you to the cleaners in court AND ruined your name talking about how you’re a horrible father?

But you’re out here rolling with Nick Lachey and some college babes? Dude, you better have a hot year on the field this year, because your act got old the last time we had some drunken pics of you.

Smarten up homey and strap up with some jim hats.

-Lake

Spitzer’s Pro Shows Some Shake

I didn’t put this up before because of the terrible background commentary and because I was really waiting on the clean video to drop. But the people have spoken and they want to see what ole Ashley Dupree is working with. Well, plenty…

Damn, ya think ole girl would be good at what she does? I’m not certain, but after that I think we can all safely say that we understand what Sisqo (by the way, who names themselves after a bootleg, terrible ass liquor?) meant when he said “I like it when the booty go dada dada” in the Thong Song. Lordy.

Larry Flynt take the wheel…. And yes, I know that Joe Francis, owner of Girls Gone Wild, offered her a cool $1 Million for a nude expose before he realized that he had the chick in his ho archives. Ohhh, so close.

Look, if the babe wants to make money, I’ve got the perfect idea. Hire a Eliot Spitzer look-a-like who can’t act a lick. Do a full on re-enactment of the whole ordeal, I mean from the wire transfers to the reservations to the phone calls and train rides to the sex acts. Do the whole thing up.. And then just market that bitch like a mufucka with Ashley and Fake Spitz as the stars. Don’t tell me EVERYONE won’t watch that. Sheeeit, if they do it right, every degenerate porn addict will have it permanently enshrined in their voluminous collection. But you have to give it a cool title like, “Swallow then Spitz.” Ha, ok, that title is terrible, but you get my drift. But the full-on porno re-enactment is coming. Just wait. Once she squeezes every single dime out of the “legitimate” money making options like her memoir (can a ho have a memoir?) and talk show appearances, then she’ll get back to what she does best.

Exploiting her body and whoring the place up for a cheap buck. I can’t lie, the babe is pretty good looking. We’ll link up that porno when it comes out because we all know it will. And when it does, I want my cut for the idea.. On second thought, yall can keep that money. Even a certified arse like me has his limitations. Keep that ho money.

– Lake

Hotness: Lil Wayne feat. Static Major – Lollipop

Ever since they shot up a club I frequented regularly in Beantown, I swore off the semi-thug club scene, but this may send me back in them streets. I’m the most fickle consumer of music you’ll ever find and very rarely, if EVER, do I like a song when I hear it for the first time. But this is an exception. I present to you Lollipop, Lil Wayne, off the Carter 3 Album, which I will be purchasing on day 1 out of respect alone (which is the only reason to buy any album at this point).

That joint is smooth as shit. I like this weird out, freaky club music direction hip hop is going in right now. It started with Timberland/Neptunes, then went over to Snoop and now Weezy. But can I just ask what the purpose of this cat Static Major is in this video and song? I mean, once you go Zap and Roger on a song it might as well be Lil Wayne, Feat. Lake Arlington and Brock Hardon and the shit would still be hot…hell, I like the sound of that.

I knew this song was fire as soon as I heard that familiar line:

“‘He’s so sweet, that I wanna lick the wrapper,’ so I let her lick the rapper”

Which of course is off that “It’s Me Bitches, Remix.” Yo, you just can’t lose with that. This joint is pure hotness. Wayne, your favorite blogger’s favorite rapper, has done it again.

Bravo.

– Lake

Leona Helmsley makes it rain on a beeyatch…

No question, while Pacman Jones and Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather have been shown to possess a capacity to Make it Rain on dem hizzoes, nobody has yet come close to making it rain on a bitch like the late Leona Helmsley just did.

Indeed, Leona Helmsley left her beloved white Maltese, named Trouble, a $12 million trust fund, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

She also left millions for her brother, Alvin Rosenthal, who was named to care for Trouble in her absence, as well as two of four grandchildren from her late son Jay Panzirer — so long as they visit their father’s grave site once each calendar year. Oh, oh, this just in, Leona’s brother Alvin just kicked the shit out of Trouble….

Leona also left a few millions here and there for various children, grandchildren and the like (and even iced out a couple), but NOBODY made out like Trouble who she asked to have entombed with her upon T’s untimely death. Damn… I wonder what Donald Trump will do when he dies… Oh, that cat will definitely be chipping some cheddar off to a bunch of b*tches and I aint talking Maltese neither.

– Lake Luciano