Archive for October, 2007

What the celebs rock for Halloween

October 31, 2007

UvT all star Christina Milian gets a B- for this little number.

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I see she went ahead and stole Kanye’s lady’s regular footwear for this number.

Vida Guerra looks good in any outfit and ode to the forrest fires gone wild LAFD number is very much appreciated.

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Hmmm, finally an angle on Vida that I’m not completely sure I like. Hey, she’s human, now I’m even more intrigued.

Audrina from the Hills went as the Material Girl…

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(I’m pretty sure that’s her “career” on the right)

Ok, I’m feeling her getup. Oh and look, there’s Justin Guidini from American Idol Uno going as…. uhhh, Justin Guardini, a cat who hasn’t mattered since American Idol’s FIRST season.

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(Wouldn’t it be great if Just was just going as a bullshit ass version of himself?)

Terrible. And for all you Making the Band 4, Brian H fanatics, Justin Guardini is the living embodiment of every reason why Brian H will be working a broom in no less than 18 months. If this cross over dude, who was on a bigger show and has bigger name recognition can’t make it, then how in the hell is this cat going to make it?

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Oh and look, Steroid eeerrrr Psycho T is going as Gerald Henderson’s pinata with his skirt all in a bunch.

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(Better get my jabs in now)

Man up and stop cryin’. And of course, Gary Williams is going at a 25 year old co-ed who just might, with the help of some Natty Light and some chicken wangs, get lucky tonight.

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(Richmond, VA stand up!!!)

Classic. Out.

– Lake, going as a smooth Nilla Wafer who just doesn’t give a f- well, you know.

================Update=============

Hands down the best costume of the year was done in tandem by John Kitna and his wife.

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They rocked this naked coach outfit with the Wendy’s girl to match in order to poke fun at the Detroit Lion’s assistant coach Joe Cullen and his arrest for drunk driving, while naked and ordering a number 4, hold the pickle. haaa Terrible.

——-UPDATE——-

I thought that picture of Vida was UvT original babe Melissa S.  But it wasn’t, so here is what she wore:

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Vida’s got more back.  But Melissa never disappoints.

-Brock

A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, Episode 4 roundup – Crazy!

October 31, 2007

If you can’t tell already, I watch a hella lot of tv. That includes my daily diet of sports, reality tv, politics, crime dramas, nonsense, football de telemundo and romantic comedies. Yes, tivo has destroyed my life. Anyway, so I’m watching Tila Tequila on A Shot at Love, LIVE, which is crazy for me since I hate commercials, but that’s just how good this show has been to me. I can’t miss it.

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I’m watching Episode 4 thinking about what I’m going to write on the blog about it and I must say, at first, I’m a little disappointed (that would change as the show progressed). Initially, I figured that the show this week had degenerated into:

  • One part predictable “battle of the sexes” (which I understand and expect),
  • Two parts buck naked Tila Tequila/barely dressed up in some crazy outfit (incidentally, it’s pretty crazy how good this chick looks in each different outfit).

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Again, I can deal with that format, but it just doesn’t give me exactly everything I need. I’m a purist. Give me a protagonist. Give me an antagonist. Give me a chick who lies and conjures up some silly faux persona where she acts like she’s 1. a lesbian, 2. a virgin ;), and 3. “innocent.”

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Oh yeah, we’ve already been given that chick. And just peep the look in her eye, then pan down. “Ashli, Kelly not guil-tee.”

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This chick Ashli (not to be confused with the nutso dude named Ashley) is clearly a fraud and quite frankly, I won’t stand for it. It’s not that I don’t like a tv fraud, hell, I love them. But if you’re going to be a fraud, be one by saying you’re wild, crazy, promiscuous and ohhhh dangerous. Don’t come on here acting like you’re some random good girl black chick from Jersey (everyone knows there are NO virgins in Jersey, uuuh, bridge and tunnel), with double D’s and ass who has never been gotten at. Believe you me, that chick is NOT a virgin…not by a mile.

Anyway, the show was fine, standard foolishness and then they had eliminations and that’s when this fool Ashley, a dude, got to wildin out! Peep the video.

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(If you can imagine it, this cat is actually wilder than he looks, he’s NUTS and worse yet, he’s “Likes to Fight guy”)

Tila iced him out, didn’t really say why, just hit him with that weird accent she has, “your shot at love is over,” she must be a Cali chick. Anyway, this fool starts twitching and back peddling to point out all the losers (who by the way made it further than he did) and why she will eventually realize that she made a mistake. Ha.

Anyway, while he’s shitting on all his former buddies, one of the cats he’s completely dissing to their face named Bobby makes the mistake of saying, “F- off” or something like that.. Um, big time mistake. Big boy, with the cat ass name goes OFF!! Check this shit out right here, it’s classic trash tv and HILARIOUS to a cat like me. I mean, this fool had a sadistic look on his face and one thing is for sure, dude was 100% serious.

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The cat just started strangling Bobby, a cat that to this point has gotten zero pub on the show, and then he wouldn’t let go!! Bottom line, Bobby ends up in a damn ambulance (lol).

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And Ashley ends his night outside yelling like a bootleg and bullshit ass Marlon Brando in some bastard production of A Street Car Named Desire on some ole…..”Tila. Teeee-la… Teeeeeeea-laaaaaaaaaaah!!!”HAAAAA

Dude, it was so good. And then when nobody came to get him, he was just out there kicking over potted plants, ripping leaves off trees and talking shit about how he wants another piece of Bobby (what was left of him). Ha. It was classic.

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What a great show. Sex, lies, violence oh and now we’ve got video tape. A loyal reader, Chris in South Carolina, just sent over a link to a video he claims is an ahem authentic Tila Tequila adult film. I “reviewed” a portion of the “film” and I have three comments.

Comment 1. This alleged Tila Tequila porn tape is really aggressive and definitely NSFW, so just know that before you click on it. Hell, if that was Tila doing ahem, those things, I can see why ole Ashley was fighting, kicking inanimate objects and defacing foliage.

Comment 2. The woman on the tape definitely looks like Tila.

Comment 3. Sadly, it’s probably not her. I just feel like a tape like this would be a known commodity on the web by now if it were truly a Tila Tequila sex tape. Hey, you decide. As always, I never look at these tapes and find them morally objectionable like a Republican in a bathroom stall. Out.

– low lake

The Backstreet “men” are back, alright?

October 31, 2007

I was bumping around my tivo, just looking for something to watch over a bowl of gumbo (yes, gumbo) and I ran across the Backstreet Boys doing an interview about their upcoming album. Are these cats serious? Ok, I must admit, I’m a little bitter about the Backstreet men. These cats are the official markers of an era I’d rather forget. was the beginning of the end for the cool white dude. These cats were not good for my street credibility.

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First off, why does this one cat have on non-matching velcro shoes. Second, the best cat in this group (and by best I of course mean WORST) is that fool on the far left. Ha. If there is a more ridiculous cat in music industry, can someone please tell me who he is?

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Look at this cat’s facial expression.  Nilla Please!!!!  And let’s be clear. If there was ever a white dude who needs to embrace the concept of bangs. It’s this fool.

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What’s the name of the album, “Outta Money?” I know, I know, they may not be big in the US but they’re huge in Tokyo, Singapore and Prague. Well, “the Hoff” is huge in Germany and I just heard that UvT is pretty damn big in Saudi Arabia (did I ever mention that I’m a kabob guy?) so I guess I shouldn’t throw international stones.

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And yes I know that one of the dudes is no longer in the group. He had the good sense to save his money errrr move on to other things. Is it just me or are the two blond dudes the same cat and how exactly did Nick Lachey go from terrible boy bander to rich dude who runs around and bangs out stars? Odd.

– Lake

Cheerleader gets Trampled

October 30, 2007

This is a case of wrong place at the wrong time:

Wow, she gets blown up!  I like how the legit news station hits her with the remix at the end just like I did on my Tivo the first time I saw it.

Haven’t these cats heard? “Save the Cheerleader, Save the World“.

I guess this is popular on youtube.  Here’s a medley:

Ol girl that gets blasted in the dome with the basketball long shot is the best.

-Brock

Halloween: Tricks are the new Treat

October 30, 2007

They must pass out “be a ho” licenses on October 30th of every year, because Halloween has become a matter of “think of a loose theme and get as naked as you can”.  If you have the pleasure of getting onto or near a college campus on Halloween, you know what I’m talking about.  We’re definitely not complaining here at Us Versus Them, in fact, you know damn well we’ve collected the best.

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Okay, here’s what I’m talking about.  That girl knows damn well she just threw the bat signal on her hooker outfit.  At least she brought her sidekick, “drop it like it’s hot”.

These girls did a little better.

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Now some poor kids didn’t get to be the teenage mutant ninja turtles this year.  Those costumes were clearly made for 5 year olds.

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These chicks went for the basics.  Bonus points for matching  though.

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A prisoner?  Now this is what OZ on HBO should have been like.  The damn show would still be on.  I know, I know chicks in prison don’t look like this babe, and fishnets aren’t standard issue.  I can dream can’t I?

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Cat and Devil right?  No…just strippers with silly headbands.

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This chick didn’t even get the holiday right.  We’re gonna let her slide though.  Is she workin’ with something?  That might not be right up under there.  I can’t tell.

Even celebrities get in the mix.

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Aubrey O’Day from Danity Kane goes as Chad Johnson.  Uhhh, I don’t think that is the NFL approved equipment there sweetheart.  You do Ocho Cinco proud though.

Before I go, Halloween is also a license for clowns to make a complete fool of themselves and for a white boy to break out the blackface.

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Now how did this dude get the whole Urkel outfit?  Especially those corrective shoes he’s rocking.  Let me tell you something, there ain’t a damn thing in Brock’s closet that would get me close to this costume.  You can’t rearrange legit gear to end up in Urkel land.  Damn bruh, just damn.

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Now see.  Here we go.  I want to hate old dude, but props for not going too dark on the skin color and extra points for the commitment to the tattoos.   This looks like a sincere effort.  As opposed to this guy:

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That just ain’t right.

Damn, I gotta cleanse my palette after that.

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There, that’s better.  Seriously though, what is she supposed to be?  A present?  She was really like, “fuck a costume, how naked can I get?”  Did she buy the stripper heels just for the occasion?  My man in the back is clearly not impressed.

Happy Halloween.  UvT always has your candy.

-Brock

Bizarre Ride From The Far Side…of Texas!

October 30, 2007

Now we all know it is dangerous to pick up hitchhikers, but down in Texas, it isn’t even safe to be a hitchhiker. So here’s how it went down. James Wayne Evans was looking for a ride on the side of the road in some backwoods Texas town when a friendly face felt his plight and stopped to pick him up.

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But this ride came with strings attached. I guess the driver, Angie, wanted a little something in return. She drove ol’ Jimmy Wayne back to her horse barn (literally) and let him know that she needed a little intimacy head in return. Well getting your freak on must be the currency of the road because the hitcher not only knew that he’d have to make the old penis payment, he also had preset limits. You know, he’s got principals.

So Angie and James start to get loose when Angie asks for oral sex. He agrees (where the hell was that line drawn anyway?) and gets ready to pay for his ride. I guess Angie was packing more than he bargained for because he found out that Angie’s feet weren’t big because she worked on a farm and that extra bass in her voice wasn’t a sultry smokers purr. Angie was a dude.

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Even Wesley Snipes knows that ain’t right.

So a surprised Jimmy stabs the dude on his way out the door. An-Gerald calls the police (she had been stabbed) and the police arrest Jimmy…not Angie. And the cops go on to say, you can’t just pick up a hitchhiker these days, no one in their right mind would put themselves in this kind of danger. What?!?! James was fine right up until Angie hit him with the old Crying Game. James would have taken his ride, given his ride (seriously, where was that line? We know it is shy of homosexual sword fighting, but how many truck drivin’, horse barn having, strong chinned good Samaritans had ol’ boy banged out to make his way across Texas?)

This raises all sorts of questions:

Did Angie think this was going to work? It seems like if you are a cross dressing dude driving through the ultimate red state you might want to get your expectations out there early. Are there really people who can get so worked up that when they encounter dack instead of lovely lady lumps they say “f’ it, I’m here, I might as well get some”. I’m thinking (hoping) not.

Is there some version of entrapment that can send Angie’s ass to jail too? I mean damn, that ain’t right.

Unless you are in Brazil, the land of the pretty tranny, and I don’t think bodunk, Texas, is going to hold up to the same standard, James has to know this was a dude. I mean seriously.

Shouldn’t James get off for self defense? I mean Angie tried to stab him with a sharp object. *shudder*

How the hell did the cops get this story out? I mean they had to be cracking up behind the two way glass as this was coming out.

-Brock

“Fashionable” hip hop artists going too far

October 29, 2007

Is it just me or is Hip Hop completely losing their minds? Seriously, cats are just trying too hard to show me that they’re not like everyone else. That somehow they’re extra Euro Gay but in a “no homo” kind of way.

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Look, wearing a cockeyed belt and your make-up less lady rocking a block on her arm does not make you fashionable. It makes you two outfits away from being a damn freak. Part of what we like about Kanye is that he’s more like us than these fake studio gangsters. The guy reminds you of someone you know, someone who is real and accessible. Now he’s weirding out on some ole other shit much like the early stages of Michael Jackson and Prince.

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When are these cats going to realize that you can take chances and show that you’re different without completely isolating yourself to Lindsey Lohan, Britney Spears or Tom Cruise land.

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(Come on Skateboard P. You’re super lean and it’s still extra medium in your mid drift and what’s with that unconfirmed Asian cat next to you, looking like an accessory)

Some how things were so much easier when cats just dressed like this.

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(what, in my YT, yup, in my YT)

Sure they looked ridiculous, but at least they weren’t on that “stupid spaceship shit that don’t make no sense” to quote Mobb Deep.

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(Chalk this up to when thick goes wrong)

Come to think about it, let’s not go back to the old days (or current days in Trina’s case). I can’t take it.

Dammit.

– Lake

2007 World Series Champs: Boston Red Sox!

October 29, 2007

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Behind the bat of Mike Lowell and pitching of a resurgent Jon Lester the Sox wrapped up their sweep of the Colorado Rockies tonight with a score of 4-3.

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(Mike Lowell’s a monster, for him everyday is Halloween)

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(Just give me the light…)

Manny Delcarmen gave up a one run homer in the 7th inning, and Okajima gave up a two run homer in the 8th, but Game 4 was never really in question. Give it to the Rox,they made a little noise in Game 4, but overall, this series was an utter ass whoopin.

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The truth is that the Rox were thoroughly outclassed by the Sox at every turn. The Sox’s pitching staff was nails all series long. The hitting was timely and the defense was just enough. It was literally like the Varsity v. the JV out there. Congrats to the Sox for winning two World Championships in 4 years.

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Get your dance and freak on fellas.

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And you know Schill and his lady had to get in the act.

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Even little Manny Jr. and Manny Jr. Jr. were happy.

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I guess Tito knew what he was doing after all. Theo and John Henry best get that checkbook ready, because Francona has earned it.

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Beckett was a beast all post season long.

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And for the Yanks..

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Well… there’s always next year. Ha.. Did you like watching the Sox win yet another world championship? Did you? LOL. Oh and don’t think I didn’t notice that A-Rod decided to opt out of his contract with the Yankees. I found it hilarious actually, guess who else did?

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Hey, how does that taste Yanks fans? I can just see it, a line-up card that has Ellsbury, Ortiz, Manny, A Rod, Youk, Lowell, Pedroia….shit, they could just stop batting right there. A Rod back at short stop please. Hey godfather, make that happen.

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– Lake

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Throwback sports video of the Day

October 28, 2007

I’m not so into all this “old school video” of the day nonsense. I mean, it would be fresh if every single blog wasn’t doing it. Anyway, I’m a random cat and I am the official keeper of random information and random shit. With that said, this is by no means random, but it is funny. So on the eve of the Sox capturing a world’s series title, please take a look at Jim Mora’s take on playoffs. Enjoy.

I just love it man… I feel like as a sports fan, you just have to back to the old classics every now and again to clear you palate.

– Lake

===========Update==============

Here are a few more Jim Mora jewels.

This cat really needs to learn how to be more expressive.

I think his problem is that he keeps too many things in. Wow.

Dirty Harry: Prince’s sex tape exposed?

October 28, 2007

You all probably heard about the plot to blackmail a member of the Royal family with an alleged sex tape that shows a Royal receiving oral sex and doing cocaine.

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(Look at Harry with a handful of tittays)

Let’s just call this one straight, we all know it was Harry. Who else would be banging out on tape?

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You know Harry was dranking that Chrissy, snorting that cocaine and getting after several hoes on camera. That’s what Harry does. He’s a wild boy, known to be the “naughty one”…

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It should be hilarious when the tape actually does come out because as with all things, there’s never just one copy. Especially if they were trying to sell it back to Harry and his fam. If there is one thing I learned in my Brit Lit class it’s that Harry loves the hoes and hoes love Harry!!!!

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(Party like a rockstar H)

Gotta be the red headed bandit, right?

– Lake

==========Update===========

As a bonus for all you low cats out there, I was looking for a copy of the Prince Harry tape and ran across this. Now normally, my moral code wouldn’t allow me to post this.

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But the deleterious effect you crazy readers are having on me is beginning to take hold. Here you go, a sex tape of a 19 year old Argentinian actress, Maria Fernanda Telesco (aka “Chachi”), who starred in their version of High School Musical. If Prince Harry’s tape is this hot, maybe he should change his profession. Uh, did anyone else know these Argentinian babes were this hot? Wow.