Archive for the ‘Oprah’ Category

Threesomes in the Governor’s Mansion

March 18, 2008

I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t Eliot “Money Pay” Spitzer..nah, this was the only cat who Eliot can look in the eye and then legitimately call a fuck up.. Yep, that crazy ass clown, Jim “I am a gay Legend” McGreevey and his wild Portuguese wife Dina Matos McGreevey allegedly had “Friday Night Specials” which involved three-ways (and I aint talking Verizon my nillas) with their driver.


Jesus, what a debacle this cat McGreevey is. First off, homey is now fully living with his “gay life partner” up in some wild house in NJ. That’s wild, at least to me. I mean, dude was a full-on family man and GOVERNOR of one of our Nation’s largest States and now he’s got funky window treatments, a disco ball for a chandelier and “What is Love” on a constant loop in the crib piece?


Damn homey, it goes down like that? And how long do you think that clown has that “I am a Gay American” speech canned up? Was it me or did homey deliver that joint a little too well. Not only that, but his wife, you know the one who was getting spanked up by the limo driver (allegedly), was it just me or did she take the news that her world was crumbling a little too well?


Please note that this photo was taken AFTER he announced that he was a “Gay American”…. How would you take it if your man called that out? Contrast it against my homegirl Silda and her expression when Eliot got loose. She was NOT pleased, not one bit.


Anyway, now the cat is getting divorced and predictably his lady is trying to take him to the cleaners for their kid and his dough, which is understandable. Her argument, of course is that he used her for his own political gain and lied about his gay tendencies. He’s countering by saying that she knew he was into some freaky shit as evidenced by the threesomes they enjoyed with the limo driver. And by the way, the limo driver has said, under oath, that he banged her out too.


How weird is this chick for smiling at the presser where her Husband, THE Gay GOVERNOR, resigns in disgrace and tells the world that she’s been getting played for all these years? Not I’m a Bi-American or that I like to “cut on the edge” no, it was “I’m a Gay American,” meanwhile, she looks like she pleasantly taking in an episode of the Daily Show with Jon Stewart. Odd. But then her vibe changed up once the ole Gay Gobner came out with his book and decided that he wanted to take their daughter and stick her for support… Wow, now that’s how you reverse it!


Next thing you know, she’s “writing” books and going on Oprah. Hey, I don’t know this babe, but I know she’s international weird. That look on her face, that tricked out body she’s still got and this wild book she came with way after the fact. Something don’t add up. So do I think the limo driver was getting his Friday Night cut session on.. Hell yes. Who knows what kind of wild freakiness they be doing over there in Portugal? Sounds about right to me.

I know, I know, he just married you to further his political career (like you just married him because he’s a nice guy). As if you were the only stepford in town. Hey, I aint saying you definitely know if your man is gay, because a good switch hitter who likes an occasional “card game” (yes I saw that Law and Order and it was awful) can get anybody… But if your dude is truly gay, like, “I don’t want to mess with women at all AND I’m a Gay American” gay, you’re gonna know that. Don’t tell me she didn’t know ole boy was a bit off, because you know he tried to stay in the game with the tools ole girl provided him. That’s all I’ll say about that. But anyway, she denies that she was banging out the driver or that she knew he was gay until she discovered his affair with some staffer. Lol… Riiiight and meanwhile, word on the street is that everybody in Jersey knew that cat was gay as Johnny Cakes on Easter Sunday.


The first lady was getting hammered by the help… Geez…God bless Amurica.

– Lake

Ladies roundup: Good girls, bad girls

August 30, 2007

A few of you have emailed me about Rihanna and her alleged sexual relationship with Transformers star, Shia LeBeouf.


Well, my first statement is that if she was going to go YT, she should have gotten with the baddest white dude of all times….no not Justin Timberlake, ME, Lakey the Don!!! Anyway and let me just say that I’ve always thought Rihanna was with white dudes. Just look and I’ve said this before, SHE CAN’T DANCE. That certainly is some white folks stuff. Whatev, do what you want to do is all I can say. If you want to enjoy a Hollywood lifestyle, you gotta sample the Hollywood white man. “You go gurl” ahnt.

The next order of business is Ciara. Hey, I’ve always thought she was fine, but I usually end up looking more at her background dancers than her. Unlike Rihanna, Ci Ci can shake a leg (and a tail), but something about her just never really clicked for me. I don’t know, maybe it was the Lil Bow Wow affiliation. Well, anyway, those reservations ended when I saw this picture the ‘nother day.


Wow, very impressive. Particularly in her “lower register”.. I can’t lie, seeing this pic forced me to look a bit closer at the rest of her.


Oh yes, that wig piece is looking just about right. Hey, I’m a hair dude and enjoy some purty hair. I realize that it’s unrealistic for celebrities and entertainers to go without weave, but I still appreciate that her hair looks good. I’m feeling this. One more…


Oh damn, Ciara and Eve… hmm, Eve looks pretty good next to Ci Ci, looking all legit and dignified. I gotta hand it to Eve, she’s really cleaned herself up and is a far cry from some of her thug chicken female rapper counterparts like Remy Ma and Foxy Brown. Not only that, but Eve was a stripper back in the day and thus, has the sex tape (which I’m told you can see right HERE) and the lesbian shots on stage (NOT SAFE FOR WORK) to prove it.


Finally we come to the good girls (or so we think), Vanessa and Angela Simmons from Run’s House fame. Ok, I like these girls, but I have a few questions and comments. Question, is Vanessa always going to use that exact same pose, with that exact same face for the rest of her modeling/acting and probably one day singing/rapping career? Dear, you’re a beautiful girl and seemingly cool… I enjoy the show. Expand your game though. And Angela. Again, cool girl and I love her, but that belly simply aint looking right in this pic and if that’s your real haircut, I’ll reverse myself from above and state that you should go out not now, but RIGHT NOW,get a weave and put it into action!!!

Finally and I won’t spend too much of my time on this, but I’ll just say, I don’t know exactly what Bill Clinton is looking at in this picture, but I’m fairly certain that Jesse Jackson is getting that oh so perfect, sittin on high, lookin down lo, side view angle on Oprah’s tailpiece.


I mean, any dude with  a modicum of appreciation for the female anatomy, especially the backside, understands what Jesse is doing right there and yes, it’s hilarious!!!

– Lake