Archive for the ‘College Football’ Category

Ohio State vs. USC Update

September 12, 2008

We finally got the OSU boys to Man Up and lay their pre-game predictions down before the game. Way to step up fellas.  This just in.  Beanie Wells was out of the game earlier…now he is listed a “questionable”.  I know, I know, Jim Tressel is just sandbagging.  Beanie Wells is actually going to dress up in a marching band uniform.  Do the pre-game songs.  High-step on out to dot the ‘i’.

Then he’ll rip off the uniform to reveal the number 28 jersey, stiff arm a cat

and lead the Buckeyes to victory.

Even the “don’t tase me bro” guy thinks you need a better plan than that.

Look, I know that is what you dream of when you go to sleep at night, but it ain’t happening.  This ain’t RudySamwise Gamgee is not on that sideline.  It’s okay, really it is.  You’ll still win the Big 10 and get to get your ass kicked by USC again in January.

See ya on Monday.


Ohio State v. USC Preview

September 10, 2008

I don’t know how they got here, but there are a lot of Buckeyes here at Us Versus Them.  I was skeptical at first, but the cats who roll with us are definitely Us so we let em slide.  One problem though, they are completely delusional about the Ohio State vs. USC game this weekend.

Sure, they dominate the Big Tenleven right now.  Sure, they’ve been to the national championship game for the last two years and won the big game in 2003.  The problem?  They also got drug the fuck up out of those games for the last few years.  Ohio State is really the best argument out there for a playoff system in College Football.  Sure, they win the Big 10 every year lately, but they also stop playing football long about Halloween and wait for every other team to beat itself up for a month before the season is over and somehow rise to the top without playing a single game.

In this corner we have the USC Trojans.

Every year is not their year.  They’ve been struggling since the end of the Leinart, Reggie Bush era they’ve gotten shocked more than they should have but they looked great in that first game.  Every once in a while, they end up looking like a pro team out there more than a college team.  This seems like one of those times.

These teams lock it up on Saturday night out in California in the first huge football game of the year.  Oh, did I mention that Ohio State is going at it without their star player Beanie Wells and they almost lost one to Ohio last week.  I mean literally had to Man Up like they were UvT fans playing on Monday instead of Saturday afternoon.

So here it is.  Ohio State vs. USC is must see tv this weekend.  I think Ohio State needs a miracle to pull it off.

Is there anything I missed?

Right.  Go Trojans.



Will and Triple B are usually up in this joint errrrrryday and twice on Mondays, meanwhile we haven’t heard hide nor hair from these dudes.  OSU fan…Man Up!

It’s College Football (Rant) Season Again

September 4, 2008

Watching Michigan getting punked in their own house by a team full of Levi Johnston looking cats from Utah, it just reminded me of the best part of College Football…the rants of course.  Listen to my very favorite dude, Dan Hawkins going from 0 to 80 miles per hour in about 3 seconds.

That “It aint intramurals” followed by “go play intramurals brother” is awesome.  Somebody needs to tell the Sarah Palin apologists that it’s big time American Party Politics…. It’s the Republican National Convention…  It aint intramurals.  Ok, let’s keep this about football.  So here’s another one, but it’s not nearly as good.

Here’s another, John L. Smith from Michigan State:

Dude, is there anything better than the line “that’s a damn coaching mistake”.  HAAAA  Yes it was, so much so that you were promptly fired at season’s end.  Next.

– Lake

Brady Quinn: Break Out the Vaseline

February 29, 2008

You know Brady Quinn is one of your favorite guys here at Us Versus Them. By “favorite guy”, I mean favorite guy to ridicule, favorite guy to point out as overrated, favorite guy to watch slide down the draft board, and favorite guy to look up on Google for pictures like this:


Brady can’t throw,

and the Browns know,

so Brady gets lo, lo, lo lo, lo, lo….

Anyway, for those who haven’t heard, the Browns are negotiating hard to re-up with Derek Anderson as their starting QB. They’ve already got a $20 million dollar deal on the table. Brady, in case you still haven’t realized. you are not hot. That means you aren’t going to be the main focus of the Brown and Orange for a long, long time.

Seriously, even if Anderson gets hurt, when you are paying someone that much, there is no way to steal their job. Forget being Brett Favre, you just became Elvis Grbac. So Brady, when the team is out playing on the field, where will you be sitting?


Don’t worry, they’ll keep the bench warm and the Gatorade cold.


LSU Fan Celebrates the Big Win

January 14, 2008

This is probably the polar opposite of the riots we see in Ohio State and Maryland.

That’s hilarious.  Someone needs to tell him the jersey pop is usually done much faster than that.  I thought he was just feeling himself up for a second there.


Ohio State catches an ass whoopin…AGAIN!

January 8, 2008

Ones of people were surprised when LSU handily beast OSU for the mythical (meaning bullshit) BCS sponsored National Championship.


Another Big 10 team, another bust. Look, we all know you really love football in Ohio.


We understand that many of the best players in the mighty Midwest who don’t decide to hit up Michigan play their ball at OSU. We even understand and respect that you probably have some of the most dedicated fans in all of sports.


With that said, you just need to understand that you’re not that good. Face it, LSU, Florida, hell, almost ALL of the national powerhouses, especially in the SEC, are just better than you and probably always will be. Truth be told, if there was a playoff, Ohio State would have never been in the National Championship game in 2007 or 2008.


You just got spanked by a much better team. Yall could play that 10 times and you’d never win.


Get your schedule up players, that Akron, Youngstown and Kent State aint getting it. I know, I know, you beat your rival Michigan this year.  Newsflash, that so called rivalry is becoming more and more irrelevant every day.  I mean, how many times is the winner of that game going to go get stomped in a bowl game by a big time program?  It no longer means a thing.  You know, Mike Hart certainly knows it and so too does the rest of college football.


Now the fans and media are finally catching on.  Oh and I know you scored that TD at the last second to make it a two touchdown game, but it wasn’t even that close. Enjoy that long bus ride home.  OSU sucks, the Big 10 is a joke and the BCS is trash.  With that, I must offer congratulations to LSU for winning within the system. Good stuff.

– Lake

BCS Championship Game: Ohio State v. LSU

January 7, 2008

Hey, this is simple for me.


1. The Big 1o is overrated, even in a year when they suck.

Ohio State didn’t really play anyone this year. Their biggest rival pretty much sucked. Playing Youngstown State, Akron and Kent State doesn’t cut it. I know Ohio State is feeling disrespected, but when LSU gets a hold to the Buckeyes, it’s gonna look like this by halftime.


Truth be told, I can’t name one single OSU player off hand. Yes, I know they have some hot cats, but overall, they’re just uneventful. They got whooped last year when they had stars like Troy Smith and Ted Ginn, Jr., this year? I don’t think so.

2. LSU plays in, and won, the best College Football conference, the SEC.

It’s very simple. The SEC is the best conference every year period. LSU is battle tested and fearless.


3. It’s in Louisiana


Short of Lil Wayne singing the national anthem with a Duffle Bag Boy background beat, LSU already has every single advantage.


Now, there’s only one way for LSU to lose the game, turnovers. If LSU messes up over and over again and Matt Flynn plays awful, yes, OSU has a chance. But Ryan Perrilloux is too much. Jacob Hester is too much. And yes, Glen Dorsey is TOO MUCH. Sheeyut, LSU will have more athletes in the stands watching than Ohio State will have on the field. It’s LSU, it’s he SEC, it’s Louisiana, the deep south. It’s football country. Ohio State cannot and will not win this game. Period. I like LSU BIG in the Superdome.

– Lake

Aloha means goodbye, bitches….

January 2, 2008

Truth be told, there isn’t much in this world I care about less than this so called BCS Sugarbowl game with Georgia versus Hawaii, but it’s a the third quarter right now and it’s 38-3, ok?


At this point, the University of Hawaii Football team is just embarrassing the entire WAC (though, that conference name is embarrassment enough) and all 3 to 20 some odd islands that make up that wild state. Listen, Hawaii is good for this:


But yall aint got nothing to do with pitching this pigskin. I know, I know, Colt Brennan is a Heisman runner-up or something. Sure, he’s also a convicted felon.


Just terrible. And by the way, what’s up with all those wild Hawaii player’s haircuts? Perhaps if yall fools spent more time in the weight and film rooms and less time styling your dreads, captain caveman – mango salsa special, ponytails, mohawks, fabio inspired Missouri mud flap, pacific rim-afro-centric-asian fro piece maybe you cats could have put on a competitive game! I mean, look at these nonathletic lookin’ cats.


All out of shape and low looking. How you gonna come into SEC country, pineapple in one hand, rainbow lapel pin in the other talking about Sugar Bowl. Hell, I thought yall cats tried to get away from that Sugar when you changed your names from Rainbow Warriors to just plain Warriors.


Alas, the Rainbows are who we thought they were: Another soft team from a bullshit West Coast conference that has no business playing with the big boys in elite football circles.


And all that “superfan” nonsense is trash when you’re getting your ass whupped like this player. I know, I know, you beat everyone on your schedule…not anymore.  Put some damn clothes on homey.

– Lake

Ok, so Nick Saban misspoke, enough already

November 21, 2007

I don’t think Nick Saban should have said that he’s “not going to be the coach of Alabama” and then go and take the job at Alabama.


He shouldn’t be such an arrogant f*ck and blame his players for losing to Louisiana Monroe.


And finally, clearly he shouldn’t have equated 9/11 to the state of his rock bottom college football team.


All that is fine. But let me tell you something. He shouldn’t have said it, but it’s not the end of the world either. It’s not THAT bad. He tried to make a point and he missed the mark. He put his foot in his mouth and then ran behind a spokesperson from Alabama (they got those down there? Git ‘er dun!!!!).  But I’m tired of people acting like just because this dude is the coach of a damn football team that he’s suddenly disrespected all the victims of 9/11 or all the men and women in service in Iraq, Afghanistan and elsewhere. You know who disrespects all those people, your president Dubyah. His blundering, falling asleep at the wheel, puppet administration is a complete and utter disgrace, but you don’t hear people call him out. No, they’d rather complain about NICK SABAN the football coach at Alabama!!!


Whatever…. And ‘Bama, you guys bought this guy, took him under shady circumstances, and either knew or should have known that he’s a know-it-all, self-important ass of the highest order. That says more about you than it does Nick. Ok? Enjoy that 6-6 record.


Geaux Tigers.


College Football Preview: Michigan v. Ohio State

November 17, 2007

Wow, I told you two weeks ago that Oregon had a tough one on Thursday night.  It just keeps getting tougher too.  Not only did Oregon have their national title hopes shattered by unranked Arizona, but they also lost their Heisman candidate Dennis Dixon for the rest of the season.  Really tough loss.   Which brings me to the question:

Do the Oregon Cheerleaders have 200 outfit choices too?


Surprisingly decent looking chicks for the Pacific Northwest.

Looking at the matchups today, obviously Michigan v. Ohio State is the big game of the day.  In what could should be Lloyd Carr’s last game and will be Henne, Hart and Big Jake Long’s last game, Michigan should have a punchers chance if Henne and Hart actually start.  In fact, after bouncing on the sidelines like a kid missing his Ritalin last weekend, there is no way Hart doesn’t start today.  I’ve seen him check himself into games before, and today is his day.  With that said, Michigan has to be clicking on all cylinders to beat the Ohio State juggernaut.

The BIGGEST game of the week though is Duke at Notre Dame.


I mean this is the Duke Football Team’s chance to win one for the ages.  To come from the consensus worst team in the nation, winning just 4 games since 2003, and nothing at all last season.  Prior to 2003 they put together a multiple season losing streak, and now we have the chance to take down one of the most storied programs in football history.

Also, it is creeping up again, parity is forcing all the teams that looked like they were going to get frozen out of the National Championship game back into the picture.  Remember when we were about to watch Boston College v. South Florida for the national championship?  Well, now we are about to get Kansas v. Oklahoma, because LSU has to make it through the rest of the SEC and Arkansas to make it to New Orleans.  If they do, they roll, but the door is still open.