Archive for the ‘Amanda Kimmel’ Category

Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites

February 8, 2008

Check out our updated Survivor coverage of The Finale and Parvati’s win of Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites and Erik’s unbelievable Stupidest Survivor Ever Move.


Survivor is back with Fans vs. Favorites.

Jeff Probst is a pimp, This cat comes in flying on a helicopter. Was that real?

So when everyone is getting introduced, how the hell do they already know James? Didn’t the last show just end two months ago? I guess the game only takes 40 days tape, but damn, they’ve got to be editing the last shows right now.

As predicted Jeff has a little struggle with Parvati’s name. He was super careful when he said it. Welcome back Par-vat-tee.


Welcome back indeed. Parvati is hot by the way. The new pics from CBS don’t do her justice. . She’s tightened it up. New Tattoo on the back too. In other news, Amanda put the ass away. I guess she really did watch her season and get some new gear. Her shorts are way bigger. They don’t even have to blur her out. We used to get this:


Now she’s got it all covered up.

I guess Johnny Fairplay got his teeth fixed from this. He’s still a jerk, he dresses like Jeff, still an asshole. Great joke though. I appreciate the fact that Jeff recognized it instantly.

Once again, Johnny Fairplay still isn’t coordinated and still complains like punk. How are you going to let Yao Man punk you like that? Seriously, how do you get tackled by an old man?

The good thing about having experienced players and big fans is that they can’t catch them with those rookie mistakes. I’m surprised Amanda and James didn’t show up dressed like Joey wearing all of Chandlers clothes.


Is this chick Kathy serious? She just asked the gay dude if he wants to be a woman. Then she goes to ask about tracy’s boobs, asking to get a squeeze. Damn she’s annoying me. She’s stomping through the game like a damn fool. She’s going to get clipped as soon as these cats get the chance, that “Big Bird” nick name is perfect. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked Jeff about where fire comes from. Hopefully she is just playing the rube, because no one who has ever watched survivor should ever be that annoying on the first day.

Daaaaaamn! The favorites start building shelter like it is damn Home Depot. Ozzy is getting food, and Parvati is flirting. These cats really are pros. Yao-Man just made fire with a pair of glasses, a drop of water and some coconut husk. This dude is the jungle MacGuyver…I mean Yao-Man is quietly one of the best players ever. He goes hard. How doe she know all of this stuff? By the way, is James really going to fall r the game Parvati is laying down? I mean he scooped her up like Tarzan and Jane. here’s my question, last show he was saying the turrible lunch lady chick would be in trouble if she was single, now he’s pushing up on Parvati? What is this dude’s type? Outdoorsy? Not having showered for at least 48 hours?

Seriously though, how is this cat Johnny Fairplay flipping on cats before they even get to the first reward challenge? I know you need alliances in Survivor, but damn these cats are plotting before anything goes down.It really makes it look like Fairplay was never planning on staying.

Haaaaa! Eliza just caught an eye jammie! She’s hurt for real too. She did not like that. Lake and I disagree on Eliza too. I think she’s pretty decent.

Johnny Fairplay is pulling the “I don’t want to be here” card. He’s probably nervous that he is gonna be kicked out first as the biggest asshole in Survivor history. Is Johnny really about to quit for real? Jeff hates quitters. This tribal counsel was probably hours long. Wow, Johnny Fairplay just tapped out. What the hell did he come for? The pre-show publicity? He couldn’t have planned to tap out like that.


Peace out Fairplay. That dude apparently banged out Real World alum Tonya Cooley, proud holder of the thick white woman award, so he’s not a total fool. We’ll see how this shapes up. The first episode was pretty boring. We’ll peep the rookies next episode.


Survivor: China. The Final Four.

December 15, 2007

 Check out Our Survivor China UPDATE on the Finale HERE.


The Survivor Finale is Sunday, and we are down to the final four. Amanda, Todd, Denise and Courtney. Other than the joint where I was completely joking and said that Denise was going to be in the finals because she was a damn mute, I’ve gotten every single prediction I made wrong. That being said, a lot has happened. Let’s take it from the top.

James Played Himself:

Let me know if I’ve got this wrong. James got voted out with six cats left and two immunity idols in his pocket.


That is nothing by greed right there homey. You thought they were just going to let you walk into the final four? Come on, you are built like a cat that should have “I will win every immunity challenge” tattooed on his chest with “vote me out” on his back. Did he really think he wouldn’t have to do any more work to get into the finals? Talk about getting lulled to sleep. He had a guaranteed spot in the final five and blew it.

Amanda is Apparently a Problem with the FCC:

I’ve haven’t seen a survivor that needed a permanent blur over a body part. since Richard Hatch Sure, during a wrestling challenge a titty would fall out, somebody would catch a wedgie and an ass cheek would get too exposed. But Amanda actually got her real clothes back, not the clothes she happened to have on when Jeff pulled his “gotcha” at the beginning of the season where everyone had to wear their draws for a few weeks, the bathing suit she planned to wear on national TV. The chick can’t even walk around without catching the blur from her back to her thigh. The interns pulled together the only two pictures of this chick in that camo bathing suit without her ass blurred out. Let’s take a look.


If she turned another ten degrees to the left, the censors would be all over her ass, literally. She is a little thick in the thigh though. What else?


Fine, she’s not working with much, but she propped it on up on that wall. What was up with her and her sister working the bird calls during the challenge. I was waiting for her to start working the Lil Wayne “birdcall”. When you hear the Brrrrrrrrr she ain’t tryin’ ta whistle. This is the same babe who lost her top on day six and didn’t even know it. Gotta be a freak right? My bad, she’s actually a “beauty queen“. She was a “Miss Earth” contestant in 2005.

Denise Can’t Win:

I don’t care who she goes up against, and the field is weak at this point, but Denise can’t win against anyone. Maaaaaaybe Courtney since she sucked at everything. You want to talk about an anticlimactic final vote. Let’s try Denise and Courtney for the million. Frosti, between Denise and Courtney, who should be Sole Survivor?


Yeah, you ain’t lied. They might have to let the money rollover to next season.

Actually, they will probably do what they did last season to avoid the whole thing and have a three way finale. It will be the first and last three way for Denise.

So the finale is Sunday, and I care more about who doesn’t win than who does. At this point, I guess Todd and Amanda “deserve” to win the most since they at least tried to win the money instead of just riding out. Sure, Courtney put together a few key immunity wins, but otherwise she hasn’t done much but be a non-threat and non-entity.

Now that we’re in the final four, I’m going with Amanda to win the whole thing. Todd has pissed too many people off, and as I said the other two have no game at all.