Archive for the ‘Rumer Willis’ Category

This is what Rumer Willis should look like

December 6, 2007

Honestly, when your parents are Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, this is exactly what you should look like.

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I mean, you don’t have to be better, but at least you should be a younger version of your mom.

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Let me get that front view again.

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Very nice. What you should not look like is this:

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Or this:

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Damn, look it aint her fault. Rumer just doesn’t have the Hollywood looks. She’s got something better though, that Hollywood money. Dude, all I’m saying is why do you want to act? Why are you always trying to be photographed? Why be on the scene? YOu aren’t Lindsay, you aren’t Paris, hell, you’re not even Britney. You should just be BEHIND the camera and chill out. Either that or you just suck it up and go get at that plastic surgery. Clearly that day is coming sooner than later, then you’ll look like this.

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Nice and true evidence that the throwback white chick still has a place in our hearts. Anyway, her name is Megan Fox and I like her. And no I don’t want to see her turn around and ruin it all because the probability of a negative arse is at about 86%. F*ck it, let’s get it.

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No comment. More later.

-Lake

This just in: Rumer Willis is terrible

August 21, 2007

Yo, I’m not trying to be a complete jerk, even though I accept that I am, but what up with this chick Rumer Willis?

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(yo, Lindsay looks stunning next to Ru’… L, you need to keep this chick close by)

Let’s just set that crazy name aside for a second. Why is she suddenly all over the place on blogs, discussed among ‘young Hollywood’ and now getting mentioned with regard to acting and worst of all, singing?!

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(I’m not sure what’s going on here, but it’s literally the best thing I’ve ever seen from Rumer, she needs to run with this line of thinking)

Rumer, listen hun, I know you’ve got more dough than Uncle Sam and some really famous parents, but this is just absurd what you are trying to do here.

A. You have no talent. Let’s understand that. If you were truly talented, you’d already be in movies or singing. Look at your peer, Lindsay Lohan, she’s at least working in the business.. you’re just Bruce and Demi’s daughter.

B. You really don’t want this publicity. All people will want is to see you crash and burn like Lindsay and company, only worse since you aren’t that cute, so nobody wants to see you.

And let’s just talk about that. Why does she look like that? I mean, where in the world did she get that jaw piece from?

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My word, to say that’s a sturdy chin does no justice to skrong jaws all across this land. Babe looks like a hammer head shark, only with the fin on her chin piece. Really, all these kids look a little funny.

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This little one’s got that V feel to her, the middle one has Rumer disease and none of them look smoothed out like their pops or beautiful like their mother. Rumer, listen, go back to college (she dropped out of USC) get your degree. Then go into some random job at Vogue or something you need connections for, get married and live happily ever after. You don’t need this and it won’t end well for you babe. Please get out now before it gets ugly(er).

– Laker the Hater