One of our valued readers, Stephen or “SG” as he called himself, made a claim today that Allison Stokke is on her way out in favor of the next big thing in hot female athletes, LPGAer Natalie Gulbis. It’s funny, because this debate kind of reminds me of how back in the day people were saying Stephon Marbury was going to be better than Allen Iverson, mostly because he balled in NYC, and even though you knew he wasn’t, you still listened to the argument anyway. Same deal, so let’s git it on!
Exhibit A – The Waist
Ok, now I must admit, I’m not a huge blond fan, but I am a huge stomach fan and this babe’s midsection is talking to a nilla brotha! Whooo we! That’s one point for Nat, though I deduct a little for the FHM spread…let’s face it, all polished up and airbrushed out, them abs might be digital (just like R Kelly claims that piss might be digital)!!!
Sorry, dude, I’m just not feeling this shot at all. This is a major negative for me. First, her wig piece looks like something out of the bad old days of the 80s, a real Olivia Newton John special. Second, she’s looking a lil manish with them extra cut up arms, that skeletor inspired rib cage and elongated, frozen food section, Weaver Chicken Strip thighs.. Your boy Lake wants to see the KFC thigh. Crisp, hot out from under the lamp and if need be, greazy!!! LOL. This is none of those things. It’s dry, long and lean and quite simply not juicy enough, with nary a trace of the Colonel’s famed 11 secret herbs and spices. Please note:
Oh yes. Advantage, Stokke.
Exhibit C – The Tail
Again, I feel like this is the battle of the old school white woman versus the new school white woman. To me, this chick looks like Hulk Hogan’s wife piece. Just that basic blond, teased up hair, you know, like one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. See me, I like my new day white woman. Your Jessica Biel, Kim Kardashian, hell, pre K-Fed Britney, Jessica Alba…I mean, the list goes on and on. I recognize that I’m different that way and my boy recently underscored this point when he told me, point blank, “see, I don’t need a girl with an ass, I don’t work with the ass. I’m a breast man“. And there’s the rub, literally.
Hey Stephen, I hear ya bro. But if you believe R. Kelly (and I do) that chicks are something like a Jeep, then if I don’t have something sittin on dubbs, namely, Kim Kardashian and her ilk, then I want it on 18’s (Jessica Biel). If it aint on 18’s and let’s face it, it can’t always be, then it damn sure CAN be sittin on some factory 16’s, all styled up and ready to go. And that’s what Allison Stokke is. We aint talking Serena tail, but she’s pretty damn hype.
Shall we take it to the photo one more gin?
Even an admitted ass man and certified cat of the brotherly persuasion, like my boy Brock, will hit you with that Whitney Houston special on this one… “It’s not right, but it’s ok (enough).”
Stokke wins going away!!!!!!!!
PS- yes, I’m aware that I left out a fairly important aspect of the calculus here, the breast-ta-sis, but I just figure that’s a push. Ok, maybe not:
Hmmm…I still take Stokke….