Kim Kardashian Dancing With The Stars Break

You’d think that at this point, we’d be getting tired of Kim Kardashian’s ass drapped into some new gear.

But you’d be very wrong.  Dude, maybe it’s just me, but that hook never gets tired.  I mean, in a dress, filling some jeans, up high in some short shorts or down low in some drawls.  I’m sorry ladies, I know she’s a near guarandamnteed gel/silicone abuser.  I know she’s got almost zero personality and I even know that her skills in the sack don’t begin to cash those checks that her ass has been writing.

But it still doesn’t matter.  Angle three please.

I don’t know about that shot.  I mean, really.  Are yall seeing this?  Unbelievable and I don’t know if it’s the best thing ever or the worst.  But those rims look fresh to death.  Anyway, I’m waiting like a mufucker for this season of Dancing With The Stars and it aint because of Warren Sapp, ok?

Well, that’s a lie.  I do want to laugh at Warren, but Kim K in some “buck-ed naked” spandex, slimming down while that tail piece gets fitter, faster, strongerrrrrrrrrrr.

Sheeeeeit.  Even Clay knows that’s the truth.

– Lake

Jermaine Dupri definitely does not have his lady in check

Hey, I’m no male chauvinist, but even I’d have to firmly put my foot down if my lady was caught behaving like this.

And no, I don’t care if it’s on stage or not, faux mic checks would make me wonder what was really going on in that tour bus, especially if she had a clean foot on me.

Jeez.

I mean, look at the expression on that freak dancer’s face!  And that angle on that tail piece.. I just aint right.  But I guess she’s like 48 or something, so it’s like whatev.  Anyway, let’s not forget that Janet has a history of letting her dancers hit, too.

Oh, hell naw.  Cat are really into some other shit.  Whatever happened to just getting after some tail the old, All American way?

Jer-mang.. Please, get your lady man.  She aint doing anything for your image right here.  Be a man, take a stand.  Put this shit to a stop.

– Lake

Fake or Real Part 3: You Decide

I know a few cats don’t like my Fake v. Real aka Them v Us posts, but I like a repeated theme.  Anyway, so tell me.  Is it all hers?  (Sorry for this)

AHNT.  Lord Jesus, send help fast.

– Brock err Lake (yikes)

Feds to Americans: Our Money’s Funny and Our Credit Won’t Get It

Daaaayum son.  This damn financial crisis has finally bubbled over to a level I can’t accept.  I spoke to my boys today in NYC, both bankers, and neither could guarantee me a spot at TenJune upon my next trip to the city.  As such, this was the conclusion I came to with regard to our financial solvency going forward:

Oh well, since shit aint going right, I figured I’d double down on Aubrey O’Day pictures.  Here she is with her allegedly lesbo girlfriend Lydia Hearst at a photo op errrr in the club having an unstaged good time with her closest friends.

Interesting faux dack work.

Ha, why not?  Can I ask women why yall rock that flesh color lipstick?  It’s rarely a good look.  As for this Lydia Hearst chick.  I’m told she’s some sort of Paris Hilton-like heiress.  No wonder Aubrey is sidling up to her.  Oh and my research tells me she’s a model too.

Sheeeeeit, this chick seems like fun.  Plus she’s got loot?  We’ll have to keep our eyes on her.

Shout out to MRod for the pics.  Good lookin’.

– Lake

Change Has Come: Evolutionary Thickness Right Before Our Eyes

People want to hate on my message, but I know there’s a movement in this country.  Yes, all over this nation, millions of women are saying, “Yes We Can,” but I’m not talking about Barack Obama, oh no ma’am.  I’m talking about these thick white chicks that are showing themselves, day in and day out, like X-Men or something.  It’s a true revolution and if you ask me, the future of my race:

My word.  And them draws coming up out of ole girl’s jeans.  Killer.  This is that wild Melissa from Making the Band and the Pussy Cat Dolls show.  Let me tell you, Puff should have taken her for real.  She’s got waaaay better tools than Aubrey.  Speaking of Aubrey, let’s roll some of her recent work.

Not bad.  Do they provide coke on set?

Now I can’t lie.  She does look good.  That vacant, “I’m high and I just jumped off a mic check” always gets the job done.  But didn’t Puff tell her to change that “ho-ish” image up?

Oh yeah.  That’s extremely classy.  And can anyone tell me how many ass cheeks and coochie cuts have been up and down that thing?  Of course, I’m talking about her tongue!  Dammit, I can’t lie.  Topless, licking the pole, J’s sitting on dubbs, thank you lil brother (intern) may I have another?

Wow…  Maybe the tide is turning on this chick.  Though she hasn’t quite mad that evolutionary shift, she’s looking might right…I can’t even lie.

– Lake

Beyonce Makes One Thick Cop

Damn. Those government issue pants don’t leave anything to the imagination.

In other news, Jay-Z has reportedly just been inspired to remake N.W.A.’s classic “Fuck tha Police”.

-Brock

Is Janet Jackson Still Bad?

Here are some pics from her new concert:

She’s still got the dance moves…

Her side profile game is tight.  Got a nice little tuck in there.  Those calves are thick on em too.  Although I’m starting to think that waist plate is as much functional as it is decorative.

Awwwwwwwww.  What’s up with the knee brace game?  That ain’t sexy!  It’s over Janet, I can’t believe it’s really over.  What about the good times we had?  The Rolling Stone cover.  Your freaky “velvet rope” period.  It was so good.  I’m just going to pretend you still look like this…and that this picture wasn’t photoshopped.

Yeah, that’s how I like it baby.  By the way, I don’t care if she’s lost a step…Jermaine Dupri still ain’t hitting it right.

-Brock

Don’t Count Kanye Out Just Yet

Every time I’m ready to count Kanye out, he pulls me back in.

Jeez.  I mean, one do I start.  One, I’m finally starting to feel Kanye’s outfit.  That’s a good thing.  Second, this wild goth tribal thing is enticing.  Video shoot perhaps or just the way ‘Ye likes to get down on a Saturday night?  And yes, that is video “lady” Dolicia Bryan, somehow finding her way onto my blog again. Let me get an angle two on that.

On second thought, why play around with it.  Too much art, not enough arse.  Keep it simple.  Hook up a pool, a few chicks of different ethnicities but the exact same skin color, some Cham-pag-nee spilling all over the place, a hot beat and some gimmick dance move or hand gesture.  Come on.  I don’t care about your artistic point of view or integrity.  Just put Angel Lola Luv in a tank of ass gel, with R. Kelly in the background singing “remix” and I’ll be happy.  That’s really all I need in this life. Kind of like that Bud Lite Commercial with “P-Can”:

Thx.

– Lake

Sponge Broad Square Arse: Angel Lola Luv!

Albany, NY is the State Capital of New York and a hotbed for progressive ideas around education.  So it was no wonder that the fine public servants in that district choose a true role model to kick off their “Back to School Extravaganza” last week.  Peep the highly motivational speaker, Angel Lola Love at the school assembly.

Haaa, and no, I’m not kidding!  This really is the outfit ole girl rocked at the school as she spoke to our nation’s youth. What possible message could this chick have for the kids?  “If you aren’t smart, don’t have a great personality and lack the proper fatness of the ass to excel in the objectification bidness, maybe you can sell your soul to the local ass gel bootlegger.”

And we wonder why kids are completely fucked in the head.

“Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice.”

Goddamn.  Where’s the Gap when you need it?  Anyway, back to discussion at hand.  Can any of you explain to me:

1.  Why Albany Public Schools would EVER invite an ass gelling, breast “through some E’s on that b*tch” enhancing, neck tatting, booty shaking, chick like this to talk to children?

2.  How the ass in question actually became SQUARED the fuck out?

I mean, that shit is just bizarre!  Look at the way the tail gives up high.  It’s creepy.  And I guess I already know the answer, but I still gotta ask, Angel Lola Love’s Ass. Real or FAKE?

Lol…  I tend to agree.  Hey Albany Superintendent of Schools.

YOU’RE FIRED!!!!

– Lake

Jennifer Hudson Gets Punk’d?

This story is just too weird.  Haaavard Law Grad, Tiffany “New York” Pollard reject and former UvT punching bag David “Punk” Otunga allegedly got engaged to Jennifer Hudson yesterday.

Dude, this is just too weird.  LOL.  I mean, Punk?  First of all, dude’s name is Punk.  Second, he went on I LOVE NEW YORK.  Didn’t that raise somewhat of a red flag for Ms. Hudson?  Hey Huddy, you may want to check in with Star Jones and Terry McMillan before you’re out here getting your groove back with a cat who uses more hair product than you.

And then there’s Punk.  How does a cat go from talking to zero black cats at HLS, to going onto I Love New York (which according to you was to promote your Hollywood carer errrr show positive images of black men in the media) to marry certified real deal sister Jennifer Hudson?

I already know the answer which is YES, but I still have to ask:  Is this cat serious? Ha, what a cornball.  LOL.  JHud, when it all goes wrong, don’t say Lake didn’t warn ya.  And just so we’re clear, you should be looking for a cornball dude, especially when you’re in entertainment.  But you’ve got things a bit mixed up.  When looking for the proper corn, you want something that looks more like this:

And run away from a dude who would ever pose like this:

I know, I know, he’s Abs-solutely fit.  Sure, but you have to understand the mentality of a black cat who spikes his hair, rolls around shirtless or dares put himself in a frosted pic.  Believe me, it aint right and somehow the fact that he went to HLS makes it that much worse.

– Lake