Andy Pettitte is a stankin’ cheater

Hey, what’s up with these idiots in the NY media acting like Andy Pettitte was courageous for admitting to his HGH use?

First off, in the past he always lied about his illegal HGH use. Then he lied about how many times he used it. The only reason why he copped to what he did was because McNamme fingered him. And how do we know that he didn’t use other drugs? He lied before, why not lie again? Come on.

This idiot Tom Friend buried Barry Bonds, but now he’s saying he doesn’t consider Pettitte a cheater? Oh, I get it.

I can’t tell what’s wilder about this pic, the fact that Mrs. C. HGH’d up and got rock hard or the way she’s griping up on that ‘Roided up dack.  lol.

Now I get how these media types work, if you like the guy and can identify with him, he’s not a cheater, even when he admitted to illegal drug use. If you think the dude isn’t a nice guy and you can’t identify with him, then he’s a liar and a cheater. I love the Sports Media. A bunch of hypocritical hacks who couldn’t make it in the legitimate news biz but now allow their own personal biases and prejudices completely taint all semblance of integrity in their reporting.

I know, I know, you’re paid to have an opinion and just are doing your job. I know. Ridiculous.

– Lake

More smoke and mirrors from Roger Clemens

You have to hand it to ole Rog. He has learned from the Bonds and McGwire criticisms that they didn’t confront their accusers on these steroids allegations.

The gotcha, gotcha though is that people still don’t believe Roger so it really doesn’t matter. See, that’s something that Bonds knew from jump. Why try to convince people of something they already have made up in their own minds. It’s not going to stop the papers from printing it and it keeps the story alive.

Rog, I appreciate your efforts to cloud the issue, but you’re not W Bush tricking these simpletons to vote against their own interests. You’re a cat who we always knew cheated who just got rated by your own boy. Own it homey, because no matter what you do or say, we don’t believe you anyway. All the rest of this charade is only good for shits and giggles.

You aren’t proving anything and believe me, you aren’t changing any minds.

– Lake

Marion Jones Gets Six Months

My word, I know rappers and entertainers are breathing easy these days. Forget the Hip-Hop cops, athletes are catching complete L’s over this Balco steroids situation. Marion Jones, former national treasure just got 6 months in the can for lying to Federal Authorities.

Honestly, that’s messed up.  The judge went on ahead and gave her the maximum sentence although she has two kids, with one still nursing.  Judge Kenneth Karas said that steroid use “affects the integrity of athletic competition”.  I’m sure federal judges have sound logic, but that isn’t really what we’re talking about here.  She wasn’t going away for steroids, she was being sentenced for lying about taking steroids to federal officials.  Here’s how it works.  If you get caught using steroids in athletic competition, you hand over whatever you won, and get suspended.

Ben Johnson whoops the field by three strides…gets caught and gives back the gold medal.  Football players lose four games without pay.  Baseball players catch a lengthy suspension.  You don’t go to jail for it.

Man, this federal gubment ain’t playing with these Balco folks.  The crazy thing is this entire fervor is over Barry Bonds.  If it weren’t for the big man breaking every meaningful hitting record in “America’s Game” there wouldn’t be congressional hearings, books on the “Game of Shadows”, federal fact finding commissions, no one would give a damn.  So when Marion is sitting in prison thinking about what went wrong, she has Barry to thank.  Who else was on that Balco list?  “Evan(der) (Holy)Fields” better watch his ass.  You know crazy ass Bill Romanowski was all clear and creamed up.

Damn from the look of it, his wife may have been on it too.

Mike Vick went down for lying too.  All it does is piss the Fed off.
Roger, are you paying attention?  I know your current plan is to go hard on these charges.  You still haven’t come out and called McNamee a full on liar in all of this.  You might just want to fess up come next week or run the risk of catching 6 months your damn self.  It ain’t worth it Roger.  We know ya did it, just admit it.  Tuck it on in, join Pete Rose and Mark Mcgwire on the “ain’t neva, eva, evaaaaaaa getting in the hall of fame” club, and fade into the background.

This is the evidence that they are using to sack Barry.  A few side by side picture comparisons coupled with the fact that you got back 5 mph on your fast ball when you hit 38.  I will say this, the way black people are going down in the courts lately, Roger actually gives Barry a little buffer.  If they take Barry down hard, they’ve gotta give Clemens the same.  You just can’t picture Roger Clemens in jail can you?  Going from pinstripes to prison stripes is not gonna be hot.

-Brock

Bully in a China shop: Clemens press conference

Boy oh boy, I just went ahead and watched that Roger Clemens press conference. My impressions, Roger Clemens is even more of an asshole than I thought he was.

Jeez. Let me just run through what happened.

1. Smooth Texas lawyer gets up and sets the table. Now I see why Roger let this dude talk for him. Roger is a pitcher, not a genius and not a diplomat. This smooth cat could represent me any day.

2. Roger the Rat – Rocket tries to tamper with a witness errrr set up McNamme

Roger, under the auspicies of reaching out to Brian McNamme, a cat who doesn’t have all this loot to fight cases or live his life, plays his old trainer trying to see how many times he can say that he didn’t do anything without that being directly refuted by McNamme. Nice try. It was also very classy. McNamme is on the line crying (literally) about how he didn’t want to give up Clemens and how his son is dying (literally) and Clemens is acting like he cares. But predictably he doesn’t care.

Nope, he only cares about saving his own skin and setting up McNamme right before he files a suit against him for defamation. Perfect. Then McNamme says “I don’t know who can hear this, I’m on a cell phone” and Rocket responds, “I don’t know who is listening to this”… Riiiight. Of course, what he meant was “holy shit, you just addressed the fact that I’m trying to set you up, could you know? Ohhh, I just got that ‘I’m a piece of shit feeling'”.

3. Roger gets up and tries to bully the press – HOT

Roger gets up and starts getting that ‘Roid rage errr temper flaring. He started the joint off by saying “It’s hard for me to even be in here with some of you, but I’ll rise above it”. Right, dude wasn’t so cool when he can’t just lean back and throw at someone’s head. Haaaaa Classic lines:

A. “I got another asinine question the other day about the Hall of Fame. You think I played my career because I care about the Hall of Fame? I could give a rat’s ass about that also. If you have a vote and because of this you can keep that vote. I cannot wait to go into the private sector and hopefully have to never answer this again.”

Go Yanks!!! LOL.

B. “Andy is my friend, I’m not going to comment about [whether he’s a cheater]. Now can I drink water?”

C. The smooth lawyer tells everyone that he would never advise any client to take a lie detector test.

He also said that he used lie detectors test as a prosecutor and saw that it was unreliable. Another gold star for our criminal justice system. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a lie detector test folks.

By the end of the presser, Clemens was beginning to unravel. Hell, his lawyer noticed it and tried to make a few wise cracks to add some levity. Whatever. Barry Bonds has had to deal with this shit forever, clearly Roger is no Bonds when it comes to focus and calm when dealing with the press. Welcome to the real world Roger. You aint getting protected anymore. I say he did it.

– Lake

The Rocket Man goes on 60 Minutes

After I watched Vince and the boys go out the back door against the Chargers the Lady and I took in Roger “Rocket Man” Clemens’ act on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace.

Is it just me or does Roger look like he’s about to rip his own face off and go V, the finally reckoning in this picture. I mean, look at dude’s left eye piece….HGH is a hell of a drug.

At any rate, Rog came out and hit us with the righteous indignation, but I wasn’t feeling it. In fact, I thought it was a put on. It kind of reminded me of that fake thug explosion we got from Kellen Winslow, Jr. back in the day about “this U”.

Boy, that joint will never grow old. So as we were watching ole Rocket get all pissed off talking about how he gets no benefit of the doubt, my lady asked me an interesting question, “what if he actually is telling the truth, could you imagine?” I gotta say, I thought about that possibility myself, but it’s just like I told her in my response that only took .5 seconds to get out, “But he IS lying, though.”

Oh well. Bottom line is that the plot has now thickened in this piece.

Congress is getting ready to put Roger under a microscope which will inevitably bring about that hot 5th Amendment maneuver or some sort of silly Mark McGwire “I’m not here to talk about the past” trick.

And all just because a few assholes didn’t like Barry Bonds and that alleged barcalounger he had in front of his locker.

– Lake

Hey Roger, we know you did it, just admit it

Ole Rog released a “personal” youtube denial today. It’s so “from the heart,” folksy and completely unscripted, peep it:

Don’t you love the edit job they did? And that wasn’t scripted or anything, sheyut, who am I kidding. The only thing missing from that joint was a teleprompter and an unemployed writer’s union vagabond feeding the Rocket Mayne his lines. This is so hilarious. “I’ll sit down with Mike Wallace and-“… Nilla, what are you talking about? Don’t talk about going on 60 minutes like that’s the gold standard for “coming clean” and being “transparent” about your bullshit. Your fellow Texan Dubyah has been on 60 Minutes numerous times and he’s probably the most insincere cat in the entire free world. Sitting down with Mike Wallace isn’t macho, it’s Bush league. It’s one step above Larry Shoulder Blades King’s dog and pony show. If you want to take this head-on, call a press conference and take all comers with all their questions.

Rog, I’m going to hip you to a little secret, WE ALL KNOW YOU DID ‘ROIDS. Everyone has always known it. First, look at the size of your dome. Sure you played for the Evil Empire, but that doesn’t mean you need to look like Lord Helmet from Spaceballs, ok?

And unless you’ve got a time machine that none of us know about, we all can safely assume that the aging process hasn’t up and decided to run in reverse for you and you alone. You’re the only pitcher who actually got Better, Bigger, Fasterrr, Strongerrrrrrrrrr as you aged AND your boy Andy P. admitted that he juiced. We know you did it, just admit it. Hell, even Curt Schilling expressed doubt about whether you did it…well, Curt is almost as much as an asshole as you are, so I’ll actually put that in the “one for Roger” column, because anything that cat says can’t be taken too seriously, after all, he did hit his own sock with that ketchup back in ’04.

It will be alright if you just admit it. I mean, come on, this is such a joke.

Rocket maaaaaaaan, just come clean. Relax, you’ll still get into the Hall. You’re a white folk hero right along side Brett Favre, Larry Bird, Ronald Reagan and Elvis. None of you guys can do any wrong in the eyes of most of these slugs out here. Just admit it, move on and it will be all good. Doing what you’re doing now, you’re just making it worse for yourself. Hey Rog, I must ax you do you still:

Now that you came out with this definitive denial, you’re just going to give the story legs. Now you’ll have cats out there, both credible and suspect, looking for a piece of you for a little fame. And truth be told, even a bullshit corroboration of what everyone already believes would fry your ‘Roid ragin, spazzin’ ass. Why are you doing this? Why don’t you ask Mike Piazza if he thinks you were on the Juice when you threw that bat at him.

– Lake

They Busted the Rocket Maaaaaaaaaan!

And I think it’s gonna be a long long time
Till touch down brings me round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh no no no, I’m a rocket man (ROCKET MAAAAAAAYNE)
Burning out his fuse up here alone

What a fitting song. “Oh, no, no, no – I’m da Rocket maa-aan.” That Rocket Maaaaaaaan is exactly what the Doctor errr Dentist ordered for this whole Steroids scandal. It’s always been a Barry Bonds witch hunt, but now we finally have some collateral damage. Hey, I’m just glad we can finally and officially account for all wild glare young Andrew Pettitte used to come with back in the day.

You kind of have to respect that controlled Roid Rage… Let me ask yall a question, how hot do these guys look right about now.

Care to comment Manny?

No doubt, just how I see.. All is well in the Bean.

Nice team. Chock full of vitamin c, juice and ethics.

– Lake

==================UPDATE=============

Shocker, ole ‘Roid Rocket Rog is now saying he’s “innocent.”  Right, just like you didn’t mean to throw that broken bat at Mike Piazza either, right?  I know, I know, you thought it was the ball and that’s why you tried to HIT HIM with it.  Sure thing.  Who’s this guy’s lawyer, the incomparable Shaggy?

Trainer shot me up near the showers, Waddent me 

I never thought he’d roll over, it Waddent me

Took HGH by the staircase, Waddent me

My Legacy fucked ova!

Roger:  Ok, Lake, you got me.. you got me

Lake:  Oh I didn’t get you yet, should I git him?  haaaa

We’ll leave that for the coming weeks…  Love it.