Archive for the ‘Andre 3000’ Category

Super Ugly: Duke drops second straight

February 21, 2008

I know that it’s tough to win on the road in the ACC, but, Dammit, Duke shouldn’t be losing two straight to unranked teams. So I’m flipping through my tivo “To Do” list, looking for this Duke game against Miami tonight and I notice that it’s just not there. Aww hells no, is the Comcast questioning my Fanhood? So I hop in the whip and head over to Game On outside of Fenway to find a few other Duke fans checking out the game.

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Immediately I saw more of the same foolishness that I saw against Wake Forest. First, they were hitting everything. They were banking it, slamming it, J’ing us from three, pulling it up, this cat McClinton was lacing the runner, I mean, you name it, they were doing it.

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That was bad enough and we looked slugglish in the first half, but what about that patented Duke effort to start the second half? You know, that same courage and character that won the Carolina game and both Maryland games?

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It just never came. Instead, we had the scarecrow, tin man and cowardly lion special going on as Miami just thrashed us. I mean, they pushed the lead out to 15 and I was pissed. Then they pushed it out to 20 and I was literally ordering IPA drafts, and I don’t drink beer!!!

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It was ridiculous. Sure, if you look at the score, you’ll see that Duke came back and made a game of it and yes, I was encouraged by the heart they showed to do that, but believe me, this was NOT a close game. Miami whupped up on Duke from pillar to post. I mean, literally, in all phases of the game. I just don’t get it.

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Even JJ couldn’t believe it. Sure, Miami came out and gave us trouble with their match up zone. But Duke looked like they had never seen a zone before. I mean, we were throwing up off balanced threes like there were 50 seconds left in the game and this was at the 15:00 minute mark in the second half!! Our team defense was deplorable.

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Gerald Henderson was INVISIBLE. Yes, he sacked up and hit a big three down the stretch, but this guy just can’t be right physically. I don’t get it, he looks like an NBA first rounded for 2/3 of the season and next thing you know, he’s channeling Mike Chappelle out there.

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Hey, G.. If you’re not good to play, then just don’t. I mean, heal up and come back when you’re ready. But I feel like Andre 3000 when he was writing Elevators, “this shit here must stop, like freeze.” My word. I mean, I’m just at a loss. The freshmen suddenly looked like Freshmen. Yes, Scheyer ended up playing well in the second half, but homey’s play for the first 35 minutes was relatively incongruous, off-key and out of sync.

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Duke loses, 95-96 and suddenly that supposed locked up No. 1 seed and ACC regular season title looks about as guran-damn-teed as that Central Campus bus picking you up on-time. Lordy… IPA fueled rant over.

– Lake

When a Little Bit Terrible is Just Right

October 11, 2007

A few days ago, in his Kanye post, Lake mentioned Kanye and Mos Def’s effort “Drunk and Hot Girls” as not going far enough, or going way to far. In fact, Mos Def errrr Black Jack Johnson has been really good at going to far lately with his rock band, and barely selling albums. There is a fine line between a good and funny parody and going waaay to far. You cross that line and you end up in the land of terrible. Just like Kanye’s leather jacket, bow tie combo. Anyway, apparently Soulja Boy Tell Em must be a great inspiration for getting people just to the right point of hilarious. Check this dance to “I got me some Bapes”

Oh man, that is great. I mean don’t get me wrong, it is bad…but it is perfectly bad. They aren’t trying so hard that it is corny and they aren’t so bad it is unbearable. Here’s an example of the same thing going to far:

WTF? First the cat tries to act all gangster, then tightens (literally) right up into first position, or a plie’, or some ol’ cat sh*t. Terrible from top to bottom. From that extra loose wife beater and those pajama pants, to his boy who is all ballet and no gangster, to that wild choreographed dance.

More examples:

Andre 3000 usually keeps it hot.

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I mean I wouldn’t wear it, but he pulled it together.

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Then he decided to throw on the Croatian national flag scarf, the Pocahontas boots, and the Navajo blanket with the stunna shades…and yes the hat has ear flaps. Too far, and working too hard.

Kanye:

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The shirt is aggressive, that belt is probably worse than you can tell, but it comes together great.

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Then he goes three buttons too far, adds racing gloves and gold chains with his gold watches and pairs it up with the gold stunnas and takes the journey into ridiculousness. He even admitted on his last album that this was too much (“I know my tuxedo was a little too guido”).

White Girls Dancing:

Working with something…

she had nothing to shake, but she is working hard.

This chick goes too hard…

That’s just funny.

Black Eyed Peas

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just pick one. it’s not blissfully ironic, it’s just horribly wack.

-Brock