Andy Pettitte is a stankin’ cheater

Hey, what’s up with these idiots in the NY media acting like Andy Pettitte was courageous for admitting to his HGH use?

First off, in the past he always lied about his illegal HGH use. Then he lied about how many times he used it. The only reason why he copped to what he did was because McNamme fingered him. And how do we know that he didn’t use other drugs? He lied before, why not lie again? Come on.

This idiot Tom Friend buried Barry Bonds, but now he’s saying he doesn’t consider Pettitte a cheater? Oh, I get it.

I can’t tell what’s wilder about this pic, the fact that Mrs. C. HGH’d up and got rock hard or the way she’s griping up on that ‘Roided up dack.  lol.

Now I get how these media types work, if you like the guy and can identify with him, he’s not a cheater, even when he admitted to illegal drug use. If you think the dude isn’t a nice guy and you can’t identify with him, then he’s a liar and a cheater. I love the Sports Media. A bunch of hypocritical hacks who couldn’t make it in the legitimate news biz but now allow their own personal biases and prejudices completely taint all semblance of integrity in their reporting.

I know, I know, you’re paid to have an opinion and just are doing your job. I know. Ridiculous.

– Lake

Mac says Clemens’ wife was on the juice too!

Now see, Roger Clemens probably should have slowed his roll when he tricked Brian MacNamee with that tape recording, only to play it at a press conference. You might not want to fuck with a cat like that when he’s got dirt on you AND your wife, Debbie Clemens, who MacNamee claims he shot up in the ass with HGH before this Sports Illustrated photoshoot.

Come on. I mean, is anyone shocked that the Rocket and his wife are both juicers? Hey, at least now we understand what that dropped call was really about.

“Hey honey, pick me up a loaf of Sourdough, some feminine wash and a couple cc’s of Brian’s best HGH, I’ve got a butt naked Sports Illustrated shoot and I must look my best.”

Look, I don’t care what anybody says, a grown ass woman of 42 with 4 monster sons ranging in age from 13 to 20 should not have abs like Chyna from the WWE.

Hell, even Chyna shouldn’t have abs like Chyna. WTF? Does anyone have a doubt that this is all true? It’s not like this guy is telling this stuff to a few or the fellas over some hippie lettuce in a back room, he’s telling this to United State Congressmen!!!!

Hmm, fake hair color, check, fake tan, check, fake boobs, chizzeck, fake ass husband, check, hey, why not just fake it all. FAKE BODY DUE TO MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF ROIDS AND HGH….CHECK! Like Chris Rock said, everything about you is a lie. Hilarious stuff, I can’t wait for Wednesday for that public hearing….talk about Tivo worthy…Jeez.

Damn, now see, this is getting ugly. Forget the gloves coming off, these cats are at each other with knives and we aren’t even close to a conclusion. What more could go wrong for ole Rocket? Nobody believes him as is.. I mean, what’s next? Is Andy Pettitte going to produce that Rocket and Debbie Clemens sex tape with Mariano Rivera ahem, coming in for relief? Argh.. sordid man. I feel dirty.

Go Sox

– Lake

I want to tell 40 year old LL Cool J to stop

But with babes like this dropping it on him at Sundance, it’s kind of hard to justify.

Oh yes, smiles all around. Now dip baby dip, come on and….

dip baby dip, dip baby dip…. Damn, I didn’t think they had that in Utah. Maybe I should take another look at Mitt Romney after all.

LL felt a whoop coming on, a whoop coming on…

whooooop, whooooop, boy, she looks like she’s really ready for some whooop, whooop

Now stop, and wiggle with it (yeah). And yes, I know I’m switching songs. Dammit you gotta respect her effort. She done basically done everything Christina Milian told her to do in that “Dip it Lo” song and I’m sold personally. Jeez. Who else was at the partay..

Oh this chick in the purple is going in for the kill. Boy, look at the intensity of the chick on the right. Like she’s readying herself for battle, vicarious or otherwise. I think she might want to….

Oh, there she goes.. You know it’s tight when security gets in there. Must have been a good night.. wait a second what’s this…

WTF?

Say what? Oh hail no. Post over.. I literally can’t take it and have come full circle. Unless that’s Snoop from the Wire digging in deep, then LL needs to go ahead and just retire. Awful.

– Lake

Bully in a China shop: Clemens press conference

Boy oh boy, I just went ahead and watched that Roger Clemens press conference. My impressions, Roger Clemens is even more of an asshole than I thought he was.

Jeez. Let me just run through what happened.

1. Smooth Texas lawyer gets up and sets the table. Now I see why Roger let this dude talk for him. Roger is a pitcher, not a genius and not a diplomat. This smooth cat could represent me any day.

2. Roger the Rat – Rocket tries to tamper with a witness errrr set up McNamme

Roger, under the auspicies of reaching out to Brian McNamme, a cat who doesn’t have all this loot to fight cases or live his life, plays his old trainer trying to see how many times he can say that he didn’t do anything without that being directly refuted by McNamme. Nice try. It was also very classy. McNamme is on the line crying (literally) about how he didn’t want to give up Clemens and how his son is dying (literally) and Clemens is acting like he cares. But predictably he doesn’t care.

Nope, he only cares about saving his own skin and setting up McNamme right before he files a suit against him for defamation. Perfect. Then McNamme says “I don’t know who can hear this, I’m on a cell phone” and Rocket responds, “I don’t know who is listening to this”… Riiiight. Of course, what he meant was “holy shit, you just addressed the fact that I’m trying to set you up, could you know? Ohhh, I just got that ‘I’m a piece of shit feeling'”.

3. Roger gets up and tries to bully the press – HOT

Roger gets up and starts getting that ‘Roid rage errr temper flaring. He started the joint off by saying “It’s hard for me to even be in here with some of you, but I’ll rise above it”. Right, dude wasn’t so cool when he can’t just lean back and throw at someone’s head. Haaaaa Classic lines:

A. “I got another asinine question the other day about the Hall of Fame. You think I played my career because I care about the Hall of Fame? I could give a rat’s ass about that also. If you have a vote and because of this you can keep that vote. I cannot wait to go into the private sector and hopefully have to never answer this again.”

Go Yanks!!! LOL.

B. “Andy is my friend, I’m not going to comment about [whether he’s a cheater]. Now can I drink water?”

C. The smooth lawyer tells everyone that he would never advise any client to take a lie detector test.

He also said that he used lie detectors test as a prosecutor and saw that it was unreliable. Another gold star for our criminal justice system. Don’t hold your breath waiting for a lie detector test folks.

By the end of the presser, Clemens was beginning to unravel. Hell, his lawyer noticed it and tried to make a few wise cracks to add some levity. Whatever. Barry Bonds has had to deal with this shit forever, clearly Roger is no Bonds when it comes to focus and calm when dealing with the press. Welcome to the real world Roger. You aint getting protected anymore. I say he did it.

– Lake

The Rocket Man goes on 60 Minutes

After I watched Vince and the boys go out the back door against the Chargers the Lady and I took in Roger “Rocket Man” Clemens’ act on 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace.

Is it just me or does Roger look like he’s about to rip his own face off and go V, the finally reckoning in this picture. I mean, look at dude’s left eye piece….HGH is a hell of a drug.

At any rate, Rog came out and hit us with the righteous indignation, but I wasn’t feeling it. In fact, I thought it was a put on. It kind of reminded me of that fake thug explosion we got from Kellen Winslow, Jr. back in the day about “this U”.

Boy, that joint will never grow old. So as we were watching ole Rocket get all pissed off talking about how he gets no benefit of the doubt, my lady asked me an interesting question, “what if he actually is telling the truth, could you imagine?” I gotta say, I thought about that possibility myself, but it’s just like I told her in my response that only took .5 seconds to get out, “But he IS lying, though.”

Oh well. Bottom line is that the plot has now thickened in this piece.

Congress is getting ready to put Roger under a microscope which will inevitably bring about that hot 5th Amendment maneuver or some sort of silly Mark McGwire “I’m not here to talk about the past” trick.

And all just because a few assholes didn’t like Barry Bonds and that alleged barcalounger he had in front of his locker.

– Lake

Told you so, Roger Clemens is the….

And he’s an asshole.

HGH is a hell of a Drug…

How’s that for an asterisk? So all that fake, Barry Bonds outrage can stop anytime now. These media types are so hilarious. They provided the public with all this information about Barry being a jerk, something we would have no way of knowing otherwise. Then they crucified him for bring that jerk under the pretext of ‘Roids and the All-time home run record. THEN they sat back and did exactly what they did during the McGwire-Sosa home run race, turned a blind eye to what was obviously the exact same “activity” and juiced infused accomplishments of “their guys” like Clemens and Pettite! Right, pitchers all of a sudden get BETTER with age, that makes perfect sense. No, it wasn’t that they didn’t know, THEY DIDN’T CARE! It’s the classic double standard cloaked in their typical transparent, self-righteous bullshit.

Just because you like a guy, doesn’t make it ok for him to juice up and if it does (and clearly it does in the minds of the media) then the least you can do is have the decency to treat Barry B the same way. Instead, these guys isolated the steroids issue to Bonds alone. Disgraceful.

Free Barry Bonds! He’s just a product of the times, just like all your “good guys” who give you the grab ass interviews you desire.

Believe me, I do too, only, I don’t find you funny at all either. Hypocrites.

– Lake

Dirty Byrd?

Drop down and get yo’ eagle on…. Wow, I can’t believe some slug who looks more like my insurance salesman than a major league ball player just got exposed for HGH use.

“Just everyone relax, I did nothing wrong, I’m a Christian”…

Paul Byrd, the witch who pitched the Cleveland Indians to a Game 4 victory in the ALCS on Tuesday versus the Red Sawks reportedly purchased roughly $25,000 worth of human growth hormone and syringes, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The HGH came from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center, a Florida-based anti-aging clinic (P dot Byrd is a geriatric 37 years old) that is under investigation for illegal distribution of performance-enhancing drugs for things OTHER THAN aging. Pretty hilarious actually, homey is getting a “prescription” from some cat who looks like this:

And he’s getting it for a condition, OLD AGE, he doesn’t have. I know, I know he got it for a tumor on his pituitary gland, because when you’re a millionaire and you’ve got a life threatening growth near the base of your skull the first place you run to is a wellness center in Florida for old blue hairs from Queens. Makes perfect sense.

Oh by the way, Byrd has acknowledged that with his 72 MPH fastball, the was “tempted” to cheat, just not THIS time… haa Peep this cat’s quote on the subject:

“I have had the temptation to take more of it than what was prescribed, so my fastball would reach into the 90s [mph] on a consistent basis. I never succumbed to any of those temptations. I never took any more than what was prescribed. I was trying to think of a way to prove that to people. I don’t know that there is.”

I was kind of hoping for a tearful “I haaaave siiiiiined” quote or at least a “before you can rebuke the sin, you must first know it” blast… that would have been HOT. Paul, next time you’re tweaking on performance enhancers, banging out an unsanctioned same-sex acquaintance or starting an un-winnable war with a country that didn’t attack you, look to a cat like this for your rhetoric.

It’s far more entertaining..

By the way, Barry Bonds is NOT GUILTY in the UvT court of opinion…not sure why that’s relevant, but for some reason I felt that I needed to say that.

– Lake