The Boston Red Sox are your AL Champs!

Who you haters be talkin to, I’m you’re f*ckin boss

Blue and Red Sox fitted haters get lost!

Look, it’s been a long year of twists and turns, but the Boston Red Sox finally got it done last night in Fenway. Of course, your boy Lake Arlington, the self-proclaimed sports guru and certified Sawks sympathizer (not a full on fan yet) was there to soak up the experience.

After nabbing a pair of $300 tickets for Game 6 two hours before the first pitch, I just had to hit the Fenway bar scene last night. I would like to tell you it was wild, but it wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong, I talked to no less than about 50 yoked and tatted up dudes who looked like Matt Damon in Goodwill Hunting running around with that “Howya like dem apples” look on their faces, got about 36 unsolicited, cornball sponsored high fives (or worse, the completely corny and uncoordinated, double high five) and another two thousand or so doing the Jonathan Papelbon river dance outside Fenway, peep that:

Bottom line was that as impressive as the Sox were on the field and as ardent as the fan base is here in Boston, which is literally the most passionate I’ve ever seen by the way, nobody was more ready last night than those Boston PD riot stormtroopers. I took some pictures of them on my cell phone cam, but it just didn’t do it justice. Just take my word, the LITERALLY looked like they wanted some shit to pop off:

It was pretty unsettling actually. At any rate, Dice K was hot last night and I was really happy to see that guy get his shine on for all the fans back in Japan.

Big ups to my second least favorite player in the MLB, Curt Schilling, for not f*cking up in Game 6 and Terry Francona who undeniably got it done despite some arguably shaky managerial decisions. At any rate, gotta love the Sox and you just know they gotta be the favorites going into Game 1 of the World Series on Wednesday.

I’m quite sure Josh Beckett will take care of bitniz his way, I’ll be taking care of things my way.

Did I tell you cats that Boston is a good town? Plenty to get into out here…

– Lake

Dirty Byrd?

Drop down and get yo’ eagle on…. Wow, I can’t believe some slug who looks more like my insurance salesman than a major league ball player just got exposed for HGH use.

“Just everyone relax, I did nothing wrong, I’m a Christian”…

Paul Byrd, the witch who pitched the Cleveland Indians to a Game 4 victory in the ALCS on Tuesday versus the Red Sawks reportedly purchased roughly $25,000 worth of human growth hormone and syringes, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The HGH came from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center, a Florida-based anti-aging clinic (P dot Byrd is a geriatric 37 years old) that is under investigation for illegal distribution of performance-enhancing drugs for things OTHER THAN aging. Pretty hilarious actually, homey is getting a “prescription” from some cat who looks like this:

And he’s getting it for a condition, OLD AGE, he doesn’t have. I know, I know he got it for a tumor on his pituitary gland, because when you’re a millionaire and you’ve got a life threatening growth near the base of your skull the first place you run to is a wellness center in Florida for old blue hairs from Queens. Makes perfect sense.

Oh by the way, Byrd has acknowledged that with his 72 MPH fastball, the was “tempted” to cheat, just not THIS time… haa Peep this cat’s quote on the subject:

“I have had the temptation to take more of it than what was prescribed, so my fastball would reach into the 90s [mph] on a consistent basis. I never succumbed to any of those temptations. I never took any more than what was prescribed. I was trying to think of a way to prove that to people. I don’t know that there is.”

I was kind of hoping for a tearful “I haaaave siiiiiined” quote or at least a “before you can rebuke the sin, you must first know it” blast… that would have been HOT. Paul, next time you’re tweaking on performance enhancers, banging out an unsanctioned same-sex acquaintance or starting an un-winnable war with a country that didn’t attack you, look to a cat like this for your rhetoric.

It’s far more entertaining..

By the way, Barry Bonds is NOT GUILTY in the UvT court of opinion…not sure why that’s relevant, but for some reason I felt that I needed to say that.

– Lake

Memo to Cleveland Indians fans: Lose the racist sambo mascot

Seriously, if you have a modern day Sambo as your team logo, you don’t deserve to win anything.

And maybe that’s why you haven’t won a World Series since 1948, it’s bad racism karma. I know, I know, it’s not offensive, it’s just that some local baseball team name and mascot are a part of your personal heritage (along with hoes, hot dogs, beer and kettle corn) and your buddy Cody, whose grandfather was “pure Cherokee” doesn’t find it offensive so why should anybody else. Believe me, I know.

Look, if I’m not mistaken your mascot “Chief Wahoo” loosely translates to “stupid Indian” so you’re not honoring anybody except your fat, stupid, loser beer soaked egos by keeping that disgrace plastered on all your gear, your stadium and your reputation.

Are you serious? Mocking a people who were (they are mostly DEAD) the indigenous inhabitants of the Cleveland area, people who were disrespected, burned off their land, mass murdered and then actively eliminated for sport… NICE. Very Classy. Why don’t you go ahead and pay homage to Slavery for your next Cleveland franchise or how about a play off of the holocaust, that oughta fire up the cosmopolitan and cultured fan base from Cleveland.

I hope the Sox stick that bat straight up you ass in Game 7. You losers deserve it.

– Lake

Quick question for you Sox fans…

If the Red Sox’s strength is in their pitching, then why did Terry Francona leave the master of smoke and mirrors, Tim Wakefield, out on the mound after he gave up a home run and promptly put two batters on base with NO OUTS in the 5th?

(If you’re wondering, that’s me on the right last night as I watched that god awful 5th inning)

I just didn’t get that. And they showed Tito, just pacing around the dug out, looking like he wasn’t sure if he should go out and get that damn ball out of Wake’s hand.

Sure, a clean 4 runs later, now it’s time to bring another dude in? Terrible, awful. Terry is busy trying to conserve Beckett and company for later games while he should be thinking about survival. This is just silly. You get the sense that the Sox really could have won this series too. Just bad luck, bad decision-making by the manager and dammit, some pretty bad pitching too. Not good. Let’s hope they at least take game 5. What you got on that Manny, does it look good?

Hey Theo, what do you think the Sox chances are for game 5 and how do you like your Gagne and JD Drew acquisitions at this point?

Exactly. I think the Sox need a good slump buster to pull them out of this muck…hmm, where can I find–

Oh yes, perfect. Thanks darling. You’ll do. Kindly report to Fenway Park, not now, but right now.
– Lake