Posts Tagged ‘Cleveland Indians’

Dirty Byrd?

October 22, 2007

Drop down and get yo’ eagle on…. Wow, I can’t believe some slug who looks more like my insurance salesman than a major league ball player just got exposed for HGH use.

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“Just everyone relax, I did nothing wrong, I’m a Christian”…

Paul Byrd, the witch who pitched the Cleveland Indians to a Game 4 victory in the ALCS on Tuesday versus the Red Sawks reportedly purchased roughly $25,000 worth of human growth hormone and syringes, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.

The HGH came from the Palm Beach Rejuvenation Center, a Florida-based anti-aging clinic (P dot Byrd is a geriatric 37 years old) that is under investigation for illegal distribution of performance-enhancing drugs for things OTHER THAN aging. Pretty hilarious actually, homey is getting a “prescription” from some cat who looks like this:

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And he’s getting it for a condition, OLD AGE, he doesn’t have. I know, I know he got it for a tumor on his pituitary gland, because when you’re a millionaire and you’ve got a life threatening growth near the base of your skull the first place you run to is a wellness center in Florida for old blue hairs from Queens. Makes perfect sense.

Oh by the way, Byrd has acknowledged that with his 72 MPH fastball, the was “tempted” to cheat, just not THIS time… haa Peep this cat’s quote on the subject:

I have had the temptation to take more of it than what was prescribed, so my fastball would reach into the 90s [mph] on a consistent basis. I never succumbed to any of those temptations. I never took any more than what was prescribed. I was trying to think of a way to prove that to people. I don’t know that there is.”

I was kind of hoping for a tearful “I haaaave siiiiiined” quote or at least a “before you can rebuke the sin, you must first know it” blast… that would have been HOT. Paul, next time you’re tweaking on performance enhancers, banging out an unsanctioned same-sex acquaintance or starting an un-winnable war with a country that didn’t attack you, look to a cat like this for your rhetoric.

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It’s far more entertaining..

By the way, Barry Bonds is NOT GUILTY in the UvT court of opinion…not sure why that’s relevant, but for some reason I felt that I needed to say that.

– Lake

Memo to Cleveland Indians fans: Lose the racist sambo mascot

October 21, 2007

Seriously, if you have a modern day Sambo as your team logo, you don’t deserve to win anything.

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And maybe that’s why you haven’t won a World Series since 1948, it’s bad racism karma. I know, I know, it’s not offensive, it’s just that some local baseball team name and mascot are a part of your personal heritage (along with hoes, hot dogs, beer and kettle corn) and your buddy Cody, whose grandfather was “pure Cherokee” doesn’t find it offensive so why should anybody else. Believe me, I know.

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Look, if I’m not mistaken your mascot “Chief Wahoo” loosely translates to “stupid Indian” so you’re not honoring anybody except your fat, stupid, loser beer soaked egos by keeping that disgrace plastered on all your gear, your stadium and your reputation.

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Are you serious? Mocking a people who were (they are mostly DEAD) the indigenous inhabitants of the Cleveland area, people who were disrespected, burned off their land, mass murdered and then actively eliminated for sport… NICE. Very Classy. Why don’t you go ahead and pay homage to Slavery for your next Cleveland franchise or how about a play off of the holocaust, that oughta fire up the cosmopolitan and cultured fan base from Cleveland.

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I hope the Sox stick that bat straight up you ass in Game 7. You losers deserve it.

– Lake