Posts Tagged ‘Beli-cheat’

Foregone conclusion: Pats will get to 16-0

December 29, 2007

This is barely worth posting on, but I’ve been gone for a minute so I figured I’d just check in. Today I’m in Boston and all you see is Pats gear everywhere. Normally that wouldn’t mean much but in a place where the Red Sox outshine EVERYTHING it’s pretty significant to see all this Pats stuff so prominently placed.

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And I’m told that even more people nationwide want the Pats to lose today.

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Well, guess what, it aint gonna happen. The Pats are a LOCK to win today. And why? First of all, Eli Manning just sucks and there’s really nothing more than needs to be said about that. He’s nothing like his brother and something like his father. He’s a below average NFL quarterback with an unfortunate name. The second issue is that the Giants aren’t that good. Sure they’ve got 10 wins, but they had a soft schedule and failed to show up against stiff comp. The Giants are going nowhere in the playoffs and they’ll be completely outmatched today by Darth Hoody.

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With that said, you gotta give it to the Hoody Billy Beli-cheat and the dirty pretty boy Tommy Skywalker. Just as a side note, I like this new Tom Brady. Homey has a little dirt under his fingernails and I think I like it.

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I mean, he’s running high profile hoes, got kids out of wedlock, he’s been running some hot smack during games…. sheyut, this aint your girlfriend’s Tom. He’s officially gone over to the Dark Side and I think he likes it.

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Anyway, great season, but will any of it matter if they can’t put away Peyton and the Colts?

– Lake

Belicheat to NFL: I’m so hood…

December 4, 2007

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If any of you saw last night’s game you know what this post is about. I was watching the game last night and as the Patriots were making that last drive all I can think of is how Bill Belichick needs to make his own version of one of the hottest songs out now, I’m so Hood Remix. Yall know the intro where T Pain hypes up the song with all the ways he’s hood. Funny, I always that he was more prison bitch hood if anything, but who knows. I guess he laid the song down flat and the joint is hot so I shouldn’t hate too much. Anyway, this is Bill’s intro to the very same song and as always, you must listen to the song, linked below, first in order to get the joke:

I’m so Hood (Remix) by Billy the Cheat aka Bill Belichick feat. Tom Brady, Randy Moss, some dude’s wife/Bill’s new girl and a high definition video camera

I’m soooo Hood (Listen)
I wear these wrinkled khakis up on my waist
I got this ice grille all on my face
cuz yall reporterz is planning to hate (I rock a HOOD)
And I got yo wife up at my house
Akinyele blaring out,
you know what I’m talking about (I bout dis HOOD-OD)
And and all my Pats fans won’t ya stand up (my Pats iz Hood-od)
my hood assistance pick that footage up
I don’t care what yall be talkin’ bout,
if you aint feelin Billy go home n pout it -ou-ou-out
16-0 iz bout dis-HOOD!!!!

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The Pats just barely edged by the Baltimore Ravens last night as a result of a series of timeouts, penalties, suspect calls and timely plays made by Tom Brady and the New England receivers. The game was kind of crazy. You’re sitting there watching it saying to yourself, “huh, the Ravens are actually in this game” to “man, the Ravens have a chance” to “wow, the Ravens are about to really beat these cats” to “muthafucka, the Hood master himself, Billy Beli-Cheat done gotten over on the league again, I can’t wait to hear his evasive mumbling and grumbling answers in the presser.”

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You know what’s hilarious? You often have to look for “bad” pictures of cats to make your point, but in the case of B-Cheat, ALL his pics look like this.

True to form, Bill was a m*therfucker after the game, being the exact asshole that we thought he was.

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Shoot, even Tom Brady was a bit of a jerk at the end of the game. He didn’t take too kindly to the notion that they “got all the calls at the end,” a question one of the reporters asked him. I’ve never heard Tom ice down a reporter like that though. I mean, he really fired back at him “you tell me if we got them, I get fined if I talk about.. yeah and earlier in the game, we didn’t get the calls dickhead”. Ok, the “dickhead” was added in by me, but that’s what he meant.

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I guess having a baby out of wedlock and getting busted for cheating will make a dude get a lil prickly. Hey, I still like Tom though. He’s a good cat and he’s dead nice at throwing the pill. When he ran for that first down on 4th and 6, after missing it twice before, that was ballsy. Homey has the heart of a lion, will of a champion…oh and he’s got Gisele so you can only hate so much.

Anyway, the story remains the same.

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Just when you think hated front-runners are gonna finally get what’s coming to them, Belichick gets over on the league and does it in true asshole fashion. I can’t lie… I wanted B-more to win, but you just got to root for Evil on some level, too.

One thing is for sure, Bill Belichick aka The Hoody aka Beli-cheat is so damn hood. And speaking of being so damn hood, is DJ Khaled that damn hood that it’s suddenly ok for him to be running around yelling the N-word like he’s on set of the Chris Rock Show or something?

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(You better be hood fool)

I mean, he didn’t just say it a little bit, he really went at it. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t see nary a trace of Sub Saharan African in that cat… I’m sure his boys are good with it, but he best watch his back. You best be that hood before some civilized suited up corporate black man sets you straight about the rules for who can and cannot say what to who.

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Damn, sorry, now THAT was hood. Late.

– Lake