Idiot Bloggers Got This J-Lo Thing All Wrong…


Everyone knows I’m about as in tune with the issues of American womanhood as any real man could be. Hell, I’m almost a card carrying feminazi. And that’s why I have to go ahead and call out all these ridiculous blogs talking about how Jennifer Lopez needs to stop rocking her bikini because she’s “fat” now. Fat? This is fat?

Sheeeit, if that’s fat, then I must be broke, water must be dry, up is really down, Duke might really win that National Championship and Bounty really is that quicker picker upper. Fat? The woman just had some wild sperm donor errr Mark Anthony twins like last week or something. I think she bounced back pretty lovely.

Now see. That aint quite Mel B. bounce back. I mean, I heard that chick was doing crunches in the recovery room, but let’s be veeeery clear here: J Lo has the look of a Milf in this very picture we’re looking at right now. How dare you low life bloggers call her fat.. Don’t you know what that can do to the body image of our young American girls. Shame on you. Besides, isn’t it what’s inside that counts? Damn, I’m just disgusted by this utter lack of perspective and focus on the purely superficial.

And besides, if there’s one thing that’s fat on Jennifer, it’s dat ass.

And believe me, it’s been like that for a while and it’s good.

Appreciated too. I feel sorry for a cat who looks at that and just can’t muster up the requisite “got daaaaaamn”… You really aint hittin right. No matter what your lady’s got.

– Lake

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7 Responses to “Idiot Bloggers Got This J-Lo Thing All Wrong…”

  1. Nor*Cal Says:

    Tell’em Lake!
    Jlo is looking like as smooth as Butter pecan ice cream
    ain’t nothing wrong with dat ass you dig??

  2. Will Says:

    WTF – who are these people sayin J-Lo is FAT??? Sheeeeeit – I’m GLAD to see Classic J-Lo back in the game! yessir!
    (pops in that old ‘Selena’ tape in the VCR’ah)

  3. Royal Says:

    “Sheeeit, if that’s fat, then I must be broke, water must be dry, up is really down, Duke might really win that National Championship and Bounty really is that quicker picker upper.”
    -that line made my week. Hilarious.

    Shit, I can only prey that my shortie bounces back like that after spawning my seed down the line.

  4. Lake Arlington Says:

    Royal.. no doubt man. J Lo is hittable in those pics right now. Just proves how many more of them there are out there compared to us. ya dig?

  5. Be On It Says:

    The people that are saying JLo is fat are the same people who think only straight Euro hair, narrow features, and light skin complexions are attractive.

    Lake, you get a handclap from me. Two real looking women (albeit way hotter than your average gal) in 30 days time span? Either you fell and bumped your head, or that good old Duke education is finally being put to use. I kid, I kid, you know you’re my favorite nilla.

  6. Lake Arlington Says:

    I always call it like I see it baby girl. Now what about dating you and Kir at the same time, still a go?

  7. Be On It Says:

    Hmmmm, you sure you’re ready for the tag team? I dunno, KIR already told you that you can’t handle the truth.

    And sweety, unless you’ll be my b!tch, I don’t suggest you volunteer to be shared. I gives no respect to sorry dudes and man-whores, and men that I don’t have exclusive rights to usually fall into one of those categories. Got to keep mental and emotional distance, ya dig?

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