Posts Tagged ‘J Lo is fat’

Idiot Bloggers Got This J-Lo Thing All Wrong…

July 10, 2008

Everyone knows I’m about as in tune with the issues of American womanhood as any real man could be. Hell, I’m almost a card carrying feminazi. And that’s why I have to go ahead and call out all these ridiculous blogs talking about how Jennifer Lopez needs to stop rocking her bikini because she’s “fat” now. Fat? This is fat?

Sheeeit, if that’s fat, then I must be broke, water must be dry, up is really down, Duke might really win that National Championship and Bounty really is that quicker picker upper. Fat? The woman just had some wild sperm donor errr Mark Anthony twins like last week or something. I think she bounced back pretty lovely.

Now see. That aint quite Mel B. bounce back. I mean, I heard that chick was doing crunches in the recovery room, but let’s be veeeery clear here: J Lo has the look of a Milf in this very picture we’re looking at right now. How dare you low life bloggers call her fat.. Don’t you know what that can do to the body image of our young American girls. Shame on you. Besides, isn’t it what’s inside that counts? Damn, I’m just disgusted by this utter lack of perspective and focus on the purely superficial.

And besides, if there’s one thing that’s fat on Jennifer, it’s dat ass.

And believe me, it’s been like that for a while and it’s good.

Appreciated too. I feel sorry for a cat who looks at that and just can’t muster up the requisite “got daaaaaamn”… You really aint hittin right. No matter what your lady’s got.

– Lake