Kim Kardashian Dancing With The Stars Break

You’d think that at this point, we’d be getting tired of Kim Kardashian’s ass drapped into some new gear.

But you’d be very wrong.  Dude, maybe it’s just me, but that hook never gets tired.  I mean, in a dress, filling some jeans, up high in some short shorts or down low in some drawls.  I’m sorry ladies, I know she’s a near guarandamnteed gel/silicone abuser.  I know she’s got almost zero personality and I even know that her skills in the sack don’t begin to cash those checks that her ass has been writing.

But it still doesn’t matter.  Angle three please.

I don’t know about that shot.  I mean, really.  Are yall seeing this?  Unbelievable and I don’t know if it’s the best thing ever or the worst.  But those rims look fresh to death.  Anyway, I’m waiting like a mufucker for this season of Dancing With The Stars and it aint because of Warren Sapp, ok?

Well, that’s a lie.  I do want to laugh at Warren, but Kim K in some “buck-ed naked” spandex, slimming down while that tail piece gets fitter, faster, strongerrrrrrrrrrr.

Sheeeeeit.  Even Clay knows that’s the truth.

– Lake

Jermaine Dupri definitely does not have his lady in check

Hey, I’m no male chauvinist, but even I’d have to firmly put my foot down if my lady was caught behaving like this.

And no, I don’t care if it’s on stage or not, faux mic checks would make me wonder what was really going on in that tour bus, especially if she had a clean foot on me.

Jeez.

I mean, look at the expression on that freak dancer’s face!  And that angle on that tail piece.. I just aint right.  But I guess she’s like 48 or something, so it’s like whatev.  Anyway, let’s not forget that Janet has a history of letting her dancers hit, too.

Oh, hell naw.  Cat are really into some other shit.  Whatever happened to just getting after some tail the old, All American way?

Jer-mang.. Please, get your lady man.  She aint doing anything for your image right here.  Be a man, take a stand.  Put this shit to a stop.

– Lake

Fake or Real Part 3: You Decide

I know a few cats don’t like my Fake v. Real aka Them v Us posts, but I like a repeated theme.  Anyway, so tell me.  Is it all hers?  (Sorry for this)

AHNT.  Lord Jesus, send help fast.

– Brock err Lake (yikes)

Feds to Americans: Our Money’s Funny and Our Credit Won’t Get It

Daaaayum son.  This damn financial crisis has finally bubbled over to a level I can’t accept.  I spoke to my boys today in NYC, both bankers, and neither could guarantee me a spot at TenJune upon my next trip to the city.  As such, this was the conclusion I came to with regard to our financial solvency going forward:

Oh well, since shit aint going right, I figured I’d double down on Aubrey O’Day pictures.  Here she is with her allegedly lesbo girlfriend Lydia Hearst at a photo op errrr in the club having an unstaged good time with her closest friends.

Interesting faux dack work.

Ha, why not?  Can I ask women why yall rock that flesh color lipstick?  It’s rarely a good look.  As for this Lydia Hearst chick.  I’m told she’s some sort of Paris Hilton-like heiress.  No wonder Aubrey is sidling up to her.  Oh and my research tells me she’s a model too.

Sheeeeeit, this chick seems like fun.  Plus she’s got loot?  We’ll have to keep our eyes on her.

Shout out to MRod for the pics.  Good lookin’.

– Lake

UvT Defined: Priest Had Enough

It’s very rare that I see something that is so bugged out that I can completely identify with it.  This is one of those times.  This video just screams out Us Versus Them. I mean, this priest just saw and heard enough of the nonsense and had to take action.  Kinda like how I feel about this absurd Palin character and this McCain campaign that’s predicated on pure lies.

Anyway, just like in that situation, this cat just felt like something had to be done and he did it.

LOL.  Hilarious. The last time I felt this way was when Puff spit that little soliloquy at the beginning of (and really throughout) “Hate Me Now” by Nas.  Go on Father.  Just because you roll high and holy doesn’t mean you gotta take mess from chumps.

– Lake

Kat DeLuna And Other Horrible National Athems

Listen, if you’re destined to be an R&B star, an actress or even just a solid citizen, just go ahead and be proud of who you are, but don’t fuck with the Star Spangled Banner.  First of all, it’s not really an easy song to sing.  It starts low, goes high and just has a veritable minefield of dynamics and notes that are challenging for even the most advanced singers.  Still, not surprisingly, plenty of cats want to sing it and can’t.  I especially don’t appreciate a cat who tries to put all kinds of personal freaks on the song.   You know, when they add in that extra soul sauce so they can really nail the joint.  I think that’s where Kat DeLuna aka Tina Marie Jr. Jr. went wrong:

Jeez… Can you be a “Pop Sensation” and have a speech impediment?  A few pitch problems maybe?  Lol  Yooo, that “Land of the Free” was CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean, even Simon was speechless after that joint.

And by the way, who in the hell is Kat DeLuna?

Damn, thick in the thigh, light in the eye and jeez, the FIRST and ONLY chick I’ve seen that actually sold those high waist shawt shorts, respek.  But why do that when you can always freak the original shorts?

Damn, I need another angle on this:

Wow, that’s a lot of hip for a young girl.  Interesting.  Let’s just hope she steers clear of the enhanced breast plate.  Anyway, I like that first name, Kat.  Ha.  Aint nothing wrong with that, but is she talented enough, well, musically?

Anyway, Kat’s cat ass performance got my thinking, what’s the worst rendition of the Star Spangled Banner I’ve ever heard, oh yes, Carl Lewis’ for sure:

Hilarious.  And while we’re in the jabbing mood, look how this cat murdered the Anthem words:

My goodness.  Haaaaaaaaa  And all those “Middle Amuricans” were just hating my man killing that song.  Come on people, please get those words right, ok?  And if you get into pitch problems on “Rocket’s Red Glare” pull a Carl Lewis and take that “Land of the Free” an octave down, ok?  Oh fuck it, here’s one more.  This cat just tried to power through it.

Ha, terrible.  Thanks for nothing.  USA, USA, USA….

– Lake

Change Has Come: Evolutionary Thickness Right Before Our Eyes

People want to hate on my message, but I know there’s a movement in this country.  Yes, all over this nation, millions of women are saying, “Yes We Can,” but I’m not talking about Barack Obama, oh no ma’am.  I’m talking about these thick white chicks that are showing themselves, day in and day out, like X-Men or something.  It’s a true revolution and if you ask me, the future of my race:

My word.  And them draws coming up out of ole girl’s jeans.  Killer.  This is that wild Melissa from Making the Band and the Pussy Cat Dolls show.  Let me tell you, Puff should have taken her for real.  She’s got waaaay better tools than Aubrey.  Speaking of Aubrey, let’s roll some of her recent work.

Not bad.  Do they provide coke on set?

Now I can’t lie.  She does look good.  That vacant, “I’m high and I just jumped off a mic check” always gets the job done.  But didn’t Puff tell her to change that “ho-ish” image up?

Oh yeah.  That’s extremely classy.  And can anyone tell me how many ass cheeks and coochie cuts have been up and down that thing?  Of course, I’m talking about her tongue!  Dammit, I can’t lie.  Topless, licking the pole, J’s sitting on dubbs, thank you lil brother (intern) may I have another?

Wow…  Maybe the tide is turning on this chick.  Though she hasn’t quite mad that evolutionary shift, she’s looking might right…I can’t even lie.

– Lake

I hate to do this, but: “It’s So Cold In the D”

Dude, I really thought long and hard about not putting up this video, but I just couldn’t lay off that heat.  Now, I know we have a number of readers who live in or hail from the Greater Detroit area.  But I bet all of you didn’t know you had an anthem bouncing around the internet.  So I give you, “It’s So Cold In The D”:

…ummm… well..now..errr.  Who’s more shocked about this video, me, Shaq

Or Kwame Kilpatrick.

Yikes.  I know, I know, “It’s so cold at UvT, gonna get Lake in his sleep… wake him with my 9.”  I know. lol

– Lake

Don’t Count Kanye Out Just Yet

Every time I’m ready to count Kanye out, he pulls me back in.

Jeez.  I mean, one do I start.  One, I’m finally starting to feel Kanye’s outfit.  That’s a good thing.  Second, this wild goth tribal thing is enticing.  Video shoot perhaps or just the way ‘Ye likes to get down on a Saturday night?  And yes, that is video “lady” Dolicia Bryan, somehow finding her way onto my blog again. Let me get an angle two on that.

On second thought, why play around with it.  Too much art, not enough arse.  Keep it simple.  Hook up a pool, a few chicks of different ethnicities but the exact same skin color, some Cham-pag-nee spilling all over the place, a hot beat and some gimmick dance move or hand gesture.  Come on.  I don’t care about your artistic point of view or integrity.  Just put Angel Lola Luv in a tank of ass gel, with R. Kelly in the background singing “remix” and I’ll be happy.  That’s really all I need in this life. Kind of like that Bud Lite Commercial with “P-Can”:

Thx.

– Lake

Sponge Broad Square Arse: Angel Lola Luv!

Albany, NY is the State Capital of New York and a hotbed for progressive ideas around education.  So it was no wonder that the fine public servants in that district choose a true role model to kick off their “Back to School Extravaganza” last week.  Peep the highly motivational speaker, Angel Lola Love at the school assembly.

Haaa, and no, I’m not kidding!  This really is the outfit ole girl rocked at the school as she spoke to our nation’s youth. What possible message could this chick have for the kids?  “If you aren’t smart, don’t have a great personality and lack the proper fatness of the ass to excel in the objectification bidness, maybe you can sell your soul to the local ass gel bootlegger.”

And we wonder why kids are completely fucked in the head.

“Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice, Beetle Juice.”

Goddamn.  Where’s the Gap when you need it?  Anyway, back to discussion at hand.  Can any of you explain to me:

1.  Why Albany Public Schools would EVER invite an ass gelling, breast “through some E’s on that b*tch” enhancing, neck tatting, booty shaking, chick like this to talk to children?

2.  How the ass in question actually became SQUARED the fuck out?

I mean, that shit is just bizarre!  Look at the way the tail gives up high.  It’s creepy.  And I guess I already know the answer, but I still gotta ask, Angel Lola Love’s Ass. Real or FAKE?

Lol…  I tend to agree.  Hey Albany Superintendent of Schools.

YOU’RE FIRED!!!!

– Lake