Elton Brand Just Screwed Baron Davis


Last week Baron Davis signed with the Los Angeles Clippers.  Baron Davis at the point, Corey Maggette at the wing, and Elton Brand giving you 20 and 10 on the block and Baron Davis was feeling like this:

He was ready to make a real run in the west…there’s running in the west alright.  Running up out of LA.

Whoo whee, Elton Brand just signed that 5 year, Eighty Million Dollar contract with the Philadelphia 76ers.

Which means right now he is making a mixtape featuring:

Deion Sanders – Must Be the Money

Ice Cube – Today Was a Good Day

Beatles – Money (That’s what I want)

ABBA – Money, Money, Money

O’Jays – For the Love of Money

Great for Elton Brand, not so great for Baron Davis.  You know the crack reporting staff here at UvT got in touch with Baron Davis for the exclusive interview.

UvT: Baron, how do you feel about Elton’s new deal?

Baron Davis:

UvT: I know, jacked up right?  Oh by the way, Corey Maggette also just went to your old team, the Warriors.


UvT: So with that in mind, how do you feel about your chances of reaching the playoffs next year?


UvT:  You ain’t lied.  It’s probably going to be a bit of a longshot.  Got any last words for Elton?


UvT: Damn Baron, tell him how you really feel.

Good luck playing for another really mediocre team next year and for the next five years of your life…just like the last nine years of your life.


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5 Responses to “Elton Brand Just Screwed Baron Davis”

  1. Will Says:

    i like Baron. I actually feel bad for the brother.

    oh well.

  2. Brock Hardon Says:

    Yeah. I like him too. Tough to be at the front of the line of the free agent shuffle. He said yes in a completely different situation than he’s in now.

  3. Slick Jefferson Says:

    Maybe because it sounds so much like VD, but BD the nickname always amuses me.

  4. Manuva Says:

    I’ve never seen Baron with a defined beard before. Usually, he’s got that whole Common/Rick Ross-beard combo that hides the entire lower jaw. It reminds me of that ridiculous King Leonidas chin piece which just conceals everything from the mouth down.

  5. Ethan Edwards Says:

    As a clipper it really stinks. Look how many clippers David Sterling let go over the years and got nothing in return (Andre Miller, Michael Olowokandi, Keyon Dooling, Lamar Odom, Quentin Richardson, and now Corey Maggette(who they should have traded this season because everybody knew he was going to leave), Elton Brand. Now they finally get Baron Davis. And people already start calling him the greatest player to ever play for the franchise. Which is pretty sad. Baron Davis is great and all but that’s sad comparing with the Lakers with Magic Johnson, Wilt, and all their superstars. Finally when the clippers look real good then Elton Brand just leaves. It really sucks to be a clipper fan.

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